Post by Claire Jayne Madden on May 31, 2015 12:31:48 GMT -5
Claire looked in the mirror at the tight bun in her hair. The girl staring back at her with the delicate pink top, the black spandex shorts, the tights that had no sign of wear and tear, was the same girl who she remembered crying after practices where her feet were bleeding. There was no guarantee she would ever fulfill her dream. There would always be some better, always be someone who had put in just a little more effort. Except, this wasn’t the girl that had accomplished all of her dreams. It was the girl who wore Shane’s flannel into auditions, and put her hair up into whatever messy concoction she could muster up for the day. If there was some way her present self could go back to her past self, and tell her that she didn’t need to constantly have a stick up her ass in order for her dreams to come true, it would have saved her a lot of time from trying to perfectly pin back her hair. The fact of the matter was, she wouldn’t be who she was today with Shane. Not even professionally speaking, though he had certainly played a hand in that. She wouldn’t be who she was personality wise without his presence in her life. The moment he entered it she sort of became comfortable in her own skin, started dressing in ways that she felt beautiful instead of polished, and she was pretty sure they still were the couple that made out like college freshman at every single gathering they had with their friends. How could she not? Look at how beautiful he was.
Claire went downstairs where Brayden and Shane were already eating pancakes that Shane had cut up into the batman symbol. Little AJ was nestled in a blanket, having to still have her meals from that terribly disgusting bottle. Claire knew Shane couldn’t wait until AJ was old enough to join in on things with him and Brayden, but she also had a feeling that he would be perfectly fine if they never grew up a single inch after that. “ Hey babe,” she said tiredly, kissing his cheek before she dug through the coffee cups to find the right one to take to work. So her dream had changed, having two kids, no matter how young you were, changed your body. She used to see her body as a tool for her work, something she prized solely for the accolaides it could get her through ballet. But now that she had given birth to two children, and her and Shane had created this family together, she knew that her ballet dream could still be a passion, but it was no longer her dream. This was. “Brayden, baby,” she said, going over to the table before she sat down next to him and crossed her legs. “ Daddy needs help at the office this morning with some of the pointe shoes while I am looking at auditions. But Logan is going to come pick you up so that you and Kenzie can have a play date after lunch, okay? You guys can go out for ice cream later. And then I want some of those sticky ice cream kisses,” she said, placing her hands on his cheeks before she kissed him repeatedly where he had successfully gotten syrup over his face. “Don’t share your sugar with Kenzie,” she said,winking. There was little doubt in her mind that Kenzie would demand whatever affection from Brayden that she wanted. Look at him, he was frikkin’ adorable, and already a natural born cuddlebug. Affection was his game.
Claire stood up, smiling at Shane as she tore off a piece of his pancake. “And then when AJ goes down for a nap when we’re home, you and I can have a playdate, too” she said, giving him a quick slap on his butt before she picked up his orange juice and went over to the other side of the kitchen to look at their calendar for the day. She had crossed off where she was supposed to be at ABC Family studios today, apparently they didn’t need her to come in until tomorrow. Which was good, cause the show was stupid. But it gave her something to do when Shane was on tour, and all she really wanted was to try and figure out who A was. “ Okay troops,” she said, watching as Brayden tried to carefully bring his plate to the dishwasher. He spilled a little of the syrup on the floor but that was the point of having a dog. “ Good job, baby” she said, kneeling down as he came toward her so that she could pick him up and carry him to the car.
The entirety of the car ride was singing along to superhero songs, which Claire would never admit she was sort of really starting to like that Ghostbusters song. When they pulled up to the building, she scrunched her nose. This was more nervewracking than when she was the one auditioning. She could be a woman in charge. She could make tough decisions. She’d been through a school shooting. She’d lost a brother and a mother. This was not a challenge. …..Right? Claire groaned, holding Brayden’s hand as they walked into the building, looking back at Shane who was carefully taking AJ’s carseat out and following behind them. “ Thank you for your help today, I just only really trust you with this. And I would ask Mackenzie or Sam but they’re supposed to be here when auditions start to help me,” Claire leaned down, picking Brayden up entirely before she went into the building and made her way toward her office. “ Okay batman, be a good little man today and we’ll let Kenzie come over for a sleepover later tonight. Can you listen to daddy?” she asked, like it was even a question. They were blessed with like the chilliest kids ever. But it never hurt to let Brayden know that Kenzie was part of his reward. “ Keep an eye on daddy, and make sure he stays on track without getting distracted,” she whispered to him, giving him a quick kiss before doing their little handshake.
Claire looked through the line of young girls, turning on her heel before running into someone. “ Jesus fucking christ, sorry,” she said, taking a step back. “ Well that’s colorful languge for a ballet company,” Claire lift her eyebrows. “ Holy….. Shit! Fuck, I’m sorry..” she said, placing her hands on her hips as she looked over at Carter. He was bad news; in fact he’d been a distracting in Paris from whatever the hell was going on with Shane. “ You done?” Nope. One more. “ Fuck, man.” she said, giving a small sigh before starting to walk. “ What are you doing here?” Carter stepped quickly to catch up with her. “ Came to check out the competition that it stealing away some of my ballerinas,” Claire shook her head, “ Well you know what they say… give your body to Carter, you’ll end up doing all of the work, and be highly disappointed,” she said, trying to speed up her walking. “ Clever. Very clever. I saw the teenage dirtbag downstairs,” he said. Claire spun around quickly, pointing him. “ HEY! He only LOOKS smelly!” she said defensively of Shane, before realizing that didn’t sound altogether appealing either. “ What do you know…” Carter smirked. “ I know that I saw two kids, a wedding ring on his finger, and the fact that you’re no longer dancing. You washed up.” Claire licked the corner of her lips, giving a slight smirk. “ Okay, Carter.” she said, taking in a deep breath. “ I don’t owe you any explanations. Back the fuck off of from my family.” she said, starting to make her way back toward the front of the building where Shane was. There were very, VERY few times that she saw Shane get so angry to the point where he actually wanted to hit somebody. But all it took usually was somehow attacking his family. Claire finally put enough distance between Carter and herself before she approached the desk. “ We should consider the idea of security,” she said nonchalantly to Shane, placing her hands on the counter between them. “Mrs.Madden…they’re ready for you,” her assistant said, causing her to turn and look at Shane, making a mocking expression at how adult that sounded. “ They’re ready for me,” she said, tying to sound fancy despite her Australian accent. “ okay. I love you.” she said, putting her hand behind his neck and giving him a kiss before running off toward the auditions. “ Sorry I’m late, Sorry I’m late. My husband is hella sexy and I easily get distracted.” she said, looking up and realizing most of the girls were young. She cleared her throat, “ And sex is bad. Very bad. … Sometimes the badder it is, the better it is,” she said, giving an uncomfortable laugh, before turning and giving Mackenzie a thumbs up. Crushed it. “ Okay. And here is the song you’ll all be auditioning to,” she said, pushing play on her iPod so that “Let’s Go” by Trick Daddy blared through the speakers around the room. “ You’ve got an hour… But don’t stress it. This is important, but not the world. Just… Okay…” she said, waving it off before going to sit down next to Mackenzie.
Claire went downstairs where Brayden and Shane were already eating pancakes that Shane had cut up into the batman symbol. Little AJ was nestled in a blanket, having to still have her meals from that terribly disgusting bottle. Claire knew Shane couldn’t wait until AJ was old enough to join in on things with him and Brayden, but she also had a feeling that he would be perfectly fine if they never grew up a single inch after that. “ Hey babe,” she said tiredly, kissing his cheek before she dug through the coffee cups to find the right one to take to work. So her dream had changed, having two kids, no matter how young you were, changed your body. She used to see her body as a tool for her work, something she prized solely for the accolaides it could get her through ballet. But now that she had given birth to two children, and her and Shane had created this family together, she knew that her ballet dream could still be a passion, but it was no longer her dream. This was. “Brayden, baby,” she said, going over to the table before she sat down next to him and crossed her legs. “ Daddy needs help at the office this morning with some of the pointe shoes while I am looking at auditions. But Logan is going to come pick you up so that you and Kenzie can have a play date after lunch, okay? You guys can go out for ice cream later. And then I want some of those sticky ice cream kisses,” she said, placing her hands on his cheeks before she kissed him repeatedly where he had successfully gotten syrup over his face. “Don’t share your sugar with Kenzie,” she said,winking. There was little doubt in her mind that Kenzie would demand whatever affection from Brayden that she wanted. Look at him, he was frikkin’ adorable, and already a natural born cuddlebug. Affection was his game.
Claire stood up, smiling at Shane as she tore off a piece of his pancake. “And then when AJ goes down for a nap when we’re home, you and I can have a playdate, too” she said, giving him a quick slap on his butt before she picked up his orange juice and went over to the other side of the kitchen to look at their calendar for the day. She had crossed off where she was supposed to be at ABC Family studios today, apparently they didn’t need her to come in until tomorrow. Which was good, cause the show was stupid. But it gave her something to do when Shane was on tour, and all she really wanted was to try and figure out who A was. “ Okay troops,” she said, watching as Brayden tried to carefully bring his plate to the dishwasher. He spilled a little of the syrup on the floor but that was the point of having a dog. “ Good job, baby” she said, kneeling down as he came toward her so that she could pick him up and carry him to the car.
The entirety of the car ride was singing along to superhero songs, which Claire would never admit she was sort of really starting to like that Ghostbusters song. When they pulled up to the building, she scrunched her nose. This was more nervewracking than when she was the one auditioning. She could be a woman in charge. She could make tough decisions. She’d been through a school shooting. She’d lost a brother and a mother. This was not a challenge. …..Right? Claire groaned, holding Brayden’s hand as they walked into the building, looking back at Shane who was carefully taking AJ’s carseat out and following behind them. “ Thank you for your help today, I just only really trust you with this. And I would ask Mackenzie or Sam but they’re supposed to be here when auditions start to help me,” Claire leaned down, picking Brayden up entirely before she went into the building and made her way toward her office. “ Okay batman, be a good little man today and we’ll let Kenzie come over for a sleepover later tonight. Can you listen to daddy?” she asked, like it was even a question. They were blessed with like the chilliest kids ever. But it never hurt to let Brayden know that Kenzie was part of his reward. “ Keep an eye on daddy, and make sure he stays on track without getting distracted,” she whispered to him, giving him a quick kiss before doing their little handshake.
Claire looked through the line of young girls, turning on her heel before running into someone. “ Jesus fucking christ, sorry,” she said, taking a step back. “ Well that’s colorful languge for a ballet company,” Claire lift her eyebrows. “ Holy….. Shit! Fuck, I’m sorry..” she said, placing her hands on her hips as she looked over at Carter. He was bad news; in fact he’d been a distracting in Paris from whatever the hell was going on with Shane. “ You done?” Nope. One more. “ Fuck, man.” she said, giving a small sigh before starting to walk. “ What are you doing here?” Carter stepped quickly to catch up with her. “ Came to check out the competition that it stealing away some of my ballerinas,” Claire shook her head, “ Well you know what they say… give your body to Carter, you’ll end up doing all of the work, and be highly disappointed,” she said, trying to speed up her walking. “ Clever. Very clever. I saw the teenage dirtbag downstairs,” he said. Claire spun around quickly, pointing him. “ HEY! He only LOOKS smelly!” she said defensively of Shane, before realizing that didn’t sound altogether appealing either. “ What do you know…” Carter smirked. “ I know that I saw two kids, a wedding ring on his finger, and the fact that you’re no longer dancing. You washed up.” Claire licked the corner of her lips, giving a slight smirk. “ Okay, Carter.” she said, taking in a deep breath. “ I don’t owe you any explanations. Back the fuck off of from my family.” she said, starting to make her way back toward the front of the building where Shane was. There were very, VERY few times that she saw Shane get so angry to the point where he actually wanted to hit somebody. But all it took usually was somehow attacking his family. Claire finally put enough distance between Carter and herself before she approached the desk. “ We should consider the idea of security,” she said nonchalantly to Shane, placing her hands on the counter between them. “Mrs.Madden…they’re ready for you,” her assistant said, causing her to turn and look at Shane, making a mocking expression at how adult that sounded. “ They’re ready for me,” she said, tying to sound fancy despite her Australian accent. “ okay. I love you.” she said, putting her hand behind his neck and giving him a kiss before running off toward the auditions. “ Sorry I’m late, Sorry I’m late. My husband is hella sexy and I easily get distracted.” she said, looking up and realizing most of the girls were young. She cleared her throat, “ And sex is bad. Very bad. … Sometimes the badder it is, the better it is,” she said, giving an uncomfortable laugh, before turning and giving Mackenzie a thumbs up. Crushed it. “ Okay. And here is the song you’ll all be auditioning to,” she said, pushing play on her iPod so that “Let’s Go” by Trick Daddy blared through the speakers around the room. “ You’ve got an hour… But don’t stress it. This is important, but not the world. Just… Okay…” she said, waving it off before going to sit down next to Mackenzie.
