I Don't Wanna Live Forever

[Belle Fitzgerald]

Belle paced in front of the elevator with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. This lie was starting to eat her alive. And it wasn’t like her to keep something from Lucy. The last time she kept a secret this big from Lucy, she ended up in rehab. Okay. Rip the band-aid off. She needed to tell her about Mr. Greyson. Mr. Greyson, she thought to herself while rolling her eyes. “Okay,” she said clapping her hands together but as she came up to the door, Anya opened the door. “Miss Fitzgerald, you pace long time,” she said causing Belle to laugh quietly. “Sorry about that,” she said, as she moved past her. Belle reached up, taking her long jacket off and then tossed it to the side. “Miss Astor is not here. She is at her meeting. Mr. Astor is in the gym.” she said, giving a nod before dismissing herself. “Oh..” Belle said. “Okay.” Belle looked around, well Sebastian was still here. She went over to the pantry, stepping inside before she climbed up a couple of the shelves and reached back for the bag of gummy worms. She wasn’t allowed to keep junk food in her house. She made her way to the gym quickly and was overwhelmed with the loud sound of rap music. Belle scrunched her nose, going over to where a bench and a bar were at, propping herself up and sitting on the bar. “Ow owwww!” she catcalled, smiling at Sebastian as he finally turned around to look at her. Man, he could sweat. “I’m so glad I found you… I need a little pick me up,” she said, holding her arm out to offer him some of her gummy worms.

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian wiped the sweat from his brow, stretching his back a little and sitting up from the bench.  He stood up and walked over to his water bottle, squirting some into his mouth.  He could hear Anya talking to someone; it was probably Lucy.  There was a moment of pause between some Rick Ross song and Gansta's Paradise and Sebastian picked up hand weights, starting a set of curls.  He didn't realize belle had come in until she started catcalling him.  Sebastian was slightly embarrassed, not because she'd walked in on him working out or anything, or that he was shirtless.  Just the same old way he got when she was around; nervous, worried he would sound stupid, hoping she was impressed or something.  Sebastian made a face, reaching over to grab a gummy worm, remember the last time he had given her a pick me up.  They'd both gotten a pick me up, or two.  Or a few pick me ups.  "I uh, I don't deal anymore actually."  Not to say that he wasn't still using.  Also Lucy would kill him if she knew he'd been dealing to Belle, both before or after rehab.  "I could give you a different pick me up though," he joked.  He knew he came off confident for the most part; they joked around a lot.  Except that 100% of the time, Sebastian meant it.  And 100% of the time, Belle didn't.  He knew their drugged out hook up probably meant something a little different for him then it did for her.

[Belle Fitzgerald]

Belle narrowed her eyes slightly at him while chewing her sour gummy worm when he mentioned that he didn't deal anymore. That was interesting. She had sort of just assumed that would always be a part of his forte. "Hm," she hummed to herself in slight amusement. Good for him. She was all about people personally bettering themselves. Yet, try as she might.. she was constantly making bad decisions. Like her teacher. She looked up at him as he mentioned he could give her something else. "You know..." she said, tilting her head slightly as she looked up at him standing in front of her. "Quitting cold turkey while in rehab did give me an alternate addiction," she said, looping just the tip of her forefinger along the inside of his basketball shorts before tugging on them to pull him close to her. There was a slight moment of silence before she giggled, standing up on the bench and hopping down. "No, you silly." she said, wiping the sour candy onto the side of her jeans. "I meant just hanging out with you. I don't use anymore anyway," she said, tossing the now empty bag of gummy worms into the trash. " Luc isn't here. Did you wanna hang out with me? Take a shower. Grab something to eat. Catch a movie. Literally do anything." she said, reaching back as she put her hands in her back pockets.

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

For a mometn Sebastian was confused, thinking she had some other addiction problem coming out of rehab, until he realized what she was talking about.  "Oh?" he replied, forgetting to breathe slightly when she looped her finger inside his shorts just slightly.  He may have been high as fuck, but he remembered it all.  Just being this close to her was enough to remind him what he had all but one time and was now missing.  Of course she was joking.  "That's good," he replied, "Good for you."  He meant it genuinely, good that she was all sobered up.  He was still working on it; rather, struggling with it.  When Belle said she just wanted to hang out, he smiled.  He'd never turn down a chance to hang out with her, especially sans Lucy.  "Yeah absolutely," he said, rubbing the  sweat where it had accumulated on his chest, "I'll uh, go shower real quick.  You know where everything is." She'd make herself comfortable.  Sebastian headed upstairs and quickly showered before stepping into his room to get dressed.  He pulled on a pair of boxers and jeans, glancing at the... paraphernalia on his desk.  Not that he thought Belle would be in his room, but for precautionary measures, better not to have it around her.  He quickly moved it all into his desk drawer before closing it, and then heading out to the living room where she was perched with her sour gummy worms.  "So, you were hoping to find Lucy, but you found me," he joked, though it was probably true.

[Belle Fitzgerald]

Belle smiled at herself for her little victory at the fact that he was willing to spend the evening with her. She didn't really want to spend the evening alone, and if she left she would end up calling David. And for the record, David knew she was on her way to talk to Lucy - about him. Which he did not seem exactly thrilled by. But bros before hoes dude. Belle went into the living room, trying to figure out the tv as Sebastian was going on taking a shower. He kept his promise though, showering quickly. Because she hadn't even had time to figure out how this damn thing worked. What if she just wanted to watch some Gossip Girl? That show got the Upper East side entirely wrong. She looked over at him, smiling. " I don't know.. maybe it's better I found you," she said, leaning forward. " I mean, I can't be attached to Luc, can I?" she said. She stood up, stretching her arms out. " I'm hungry. I mean really hungry. And I want like.. a burger where the grease runs down your hands. And fries where you're pretty sure they just cut a potato in half and then ...fried it.." she said smiling at him. " And all of the sauces. I can't exactly do that with Luc, now can I?" she said. She was smiling in the moment but it was hard to pretend that while their friendship was a fun and playful one, it was also a damaging one. Their entire group.. hadn't they suffered enough? How many dead bodies were going to pile up around them? Would hers be next? Belle dropped her smile, a moment of anxiety flushing over her before she reached up and moved her hair from her face. " But um.... my treat. And you can tell me about everything going on in your life..." she said, putting her long trench on. "Anya, we're leaving! I'll be sure to bring you something back," she called out, pulling her hair out from underneath her jacket so that it could fall over her shoulders.

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian watched her struggling with the TV before stating that she was hungry.  "You're hungry." he repeated back, "For grease. And grease sauce."  Sebastian raised his eyebrows and then nodded, pulling her off the couch by her hands, "Done and done."  He knew of a place.  If she didn't mind a little walk.  And she was right, Lucy loved fattening food every now and then, but as he laughed he agreed, "Lucille eats like a bird."  Sebastian grabbed a hoodie and pulled it on, following her out.  Once down on the street, he gently pulled her arm in the direction they were headed.  "Okay, ladies choice, take a cab or take the F?"  Sebastian took public transit all the time, but he knew his sister opted not to.  He wasn't sure what Belle did these days.  Of course if they took a cab they would have to probably sit in traffic for a little bit.  If they waited for the F, it was faster, but they'd have to wait for it as well.  

[Belle Fitzgerald]

Once they left the building Belle was hit with a rush of New York. There really wasn't a way to explain it. The lights, the sounds, ....the smells.... She reached up, looping her arm through his so that they could walk arm in arm down the street toward her car. But as he questioned about the cab or the F, Belle lift her eyebrows slightly. "Oh... Maybe a cab. Since I'm treating you and all. You should be treated like the lady that you are," she said, walking past her car and trying to give her driver a subtle shake of her head. She could sit in a cab... As they came to a curb, she kept her arm looped through his for a moment, not wanting to let the cold air bite against her frame. "I miss this," she said quietly, taking in all of the sights. The normalcy, spending time with someone and not assuming someone might kill you, being able to actually enjoy a night without being high. She squeezed her hand against the inside of his arm fondly before she stepped away from him and lifted her arm up as she stepped near the curb, her attempt of hailing a cab as she waited for a few of them to stop.

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian laughed at her look of almost disdain that she didn't hide very well at taking a cab.  It was just the way though.  He wasn't sure if it was excess of money that caused he to own a vehicle but Sebastian didn't see the point.  He and Lucy had drivers licenses but it was more of a right of passage than a necessary thing, neither of them even had cars.  "Alright, a cab it is."  As they stood and waited for a moment for traffic to bring them a ride, she stood close beside him, saying she missed all of this.  He knew what she meant, he missed it sometimes when he'd never even left.  It was an odd feeling.  He was tempted to put his arm around her, pull her close for just a second; even wordlessly remind her that she wasn't alone.  Yeah she had Lucy and her friends and her family, but she had him too.  She didn't take his feelings for her seriously, but he was there for her when she needed someone there.  He'd never failed at that.  All too soon she pulled away from him to hail a cab.  One did stop for them and he opened the door for her, climbing in after her.  "Houston and Broadway, please," he told the driver before sitting back in his seat.  As they pulled away from the curb, he sank back in his seat glancing out at the people passing by and then back at Belle.  He could look at her all day.  Maybe one day when the club was open, he could invite her; no one from school, no Lucille, just them.  Maybe she would realize he wasn't joking every time he told her he was in love with her.

[Belle Fitzgerald]

What felt like just moments later they were already inside the restaurant. She crossed her arms on the table, looking around before she looked back at Sebastian, giving him her best smile. "I want the bash," she said definitively, giving him a nod. She wondered if she could get by with ordering a craft beer. I mean, just because she quit drugs didn't means he had stopped drinking. She looked at the list of beers before looking at Sebastian, unsure if he would order something to drink too or not. But he had this habit of ordering for the both of them when they went out. Whatever girl ended up dating him was going to be so lucky. He always went the extra mile to make sure that whoever he was with felt cared about. "Okay so I actually have gossip," she said, lifting her eyebrows up and down with a quiet squeal of anxiety. But who knew more of her secrets than Sebastian? Lucy. But that was it. She sat up as the waiter came, anxious to see what Sebastian would order for them and whether or not he would be having a drink. She watched him, letting her eyes take in just how handsome he could be. Actually, he was always handsome. It was just a matter of whether or not she was choosing to let herself see it. It wasn't like all guys could wear a hoodie and make it look attractive. "Oh." she said, realizing she was still wearing her jacket before she sat up straight so that she could take it off and place it on the chair. "Together please," she said, gesturing between herself and Sebastian before she let him order.

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian never opened his menu, knowing what he was ordering.  He was just happy to be out and about.  And to be honest, he wasn't feeling that itch to get high.  Maybe later it would nag at him, but right now he was okay.  "Oh gossip, do tell," he said, raising an eyebrow back at her.  He didn't know what gossip she had that she was willing to tell him and not his sister, it couldn't be that big.  The waiter had appeared, looking expectantly at them after Belle said they would be on the same tab.  Sebastian spoke up, "We're gonna have the chicken lollipops to start.  And then two bash burgers, two strawberry shakes.  Could we also get a bottle of semi dry Riesling?"  The waiter scurried off, "It's weird I know, burgers and wine.  That's kind of the thing here," he laughed.  "Alright, spill your gossip."  The waiter was back with two wine glasses and a bottle of wine, which he promptly poured and then disappeared again, Sebastian sliding hers toward her and waited.

[Belle Fitzgerald]

Belle smiled as she watched Sebastian ordering, waiting to see what he would get. Two Bash's?! She laughed as he said it, just imagining how gracefully Lucy would ask for it if she was here. But when he mentioned the shakes she lift her eyebrows immediately. She had seen vanilla and chocolate, but no strawberry. He seemed like he really knew his way around this place though, so albeit to her to intrude. He was a man who would get what he wanted. " That's amazing, thank you," she said as she looked back at him and smiled, shrugging it off. " Wine goes with everything," she mused. "Okay," she said, leaning in to the table. She looked around as though it was some daring secret that people might be trying to listen in on, when really it was just the two of them sitting here waiting on chicken lollipops and burgers. "So since I came back,.. I mean not right away, but for a little while now.. I've been seeing someone," she said, making a slight face as she put her hands up to the side like she just revealed a huge secret. " I mean not just someone... I mean.." she sighed, tilting her head side to side. " I don't know if it is serious. I don't think it's not not serious. We haven't really discussed it. It's just, he's so... mature." she said, narrowing her eyes a bit at her word choice before waving it off. " Who he is, is the best part of the secret," she said as she licked her lips and placed her hands on the table. " It's David Greyson."

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Belle seemed to be preparing herself for telling her little secret, leaning closer to him, so he leaned in too.  She explained that since she'd come back to the city she'd been seeing someone.  Sebastian leaned back, crossing his arms defensively, already jealous of whoever the guy was, "Oh."  He didn't see what the big deal was, so she was dating someone, that wasn't crazy.  She was trying to explain that it wasn't serious but it wasn't not not, he was sure really, he couldn't decipher through her double double negatives.  He was an older guy apparently.  Was that it?  That was what this guy had that he Sebastian didn't, he was just older?  Sebastian wasn't sure it mattered who it was, until she said who it was.  "David Greyson?"  Sebastian raised an eyebrow in confusion.  Who the fuck was David Greyson?  "... Mr. Greyson?!" he said, suddenly realizing who she meant, "Our history teacher?" he asked quietly, leaning in but still incredulous.  Was she for real?  No wonder she was telling him, she was probably scared to tell his sister.  Sebastian leaned back, letting out a slow long breath, absorbing that truth bomb.  "Wow.  Okay." He looked around, "So what, do we call him David?  You could- he could get into huge trouble, Anabelle."  Also, in some odd way, it was sort of hot.  But Sebastian was also insanely jealous, and was trying to hide it.  Not to mention, if this went sour, and it undoubtedly would, the only person that would end up hurt, the only one that mattered, really, was Belle.  "Belle," he said carefully, "Are you sure that's something you want to... continue?"  he was trying to tread carefully.  She was obviously emotionally invested and he didn't want to hurt her feelings.  "He's... older, are you totally sure he's as... invested as you are?"  he shook his head, "Sorry, you just said you weren't even sure how serious it was."  He paused, deciding if he should even bother saying it, "I just- it would really suck if you got hurt because of this, I'm just... just be careful," he said, worried about it.

[Belle Fitzgerald]

Belle hid behind a mask of her fingers as she watched Sebastian process through everything. It was fair. I mean it took her a while to process through everything and she wasn't sure she had entirely yet. She couldn't expect him to do it within thirty seconds. She nodded, listening to all of his concerns and worries. She'd had them, too. But when he asked whether or not David was as invested as she was, she felt slightly hurt. Belle looked at Sebastian, not even attempting to hide the frown that completely took over her expression. "Do you think.. I mean.." she said, rolling her eyes as she tried to get her wording out correctly. " I mean, you think that I'm not good enough.. or.. that if someone got to know me that they'd realize I'm a mess, because I mean.. yeah I get it. I'm a mess." she said, scratching the back of her neck. "I mean he seems as equally invested as I am. He knows the dangers for his career, it's not something I think that he would get into when he can lose his career and reputation if it wasn't something he was necessarily invested in," she said, suddenly feeling very self conscious. I mean sure, Sebastian had known her for almost all of her life. He knew all of her darkest secrets, but he had also slept with her. Was he trying to suggest that all she was good for was a night in the sack and not really worth investing in? Belle bit the inside of her cheek, opening her mouth to say something else but then instead reaching for the glass of wine and taking a large drink, setting it down carefully. "Maybe if you got to know him, like I have..." she said, letting the worlds trail off slightly. "David is.. I think you'd like him,"

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian rubbed his hair, thanking the waiter halfheartedly when he brought over their appetizer.  He hadn't meant to offend her, or make her feel like she wasn't worth more than a quick fuck, that wasn't what he meant at all.  It was just that Sebastian saw her, he knew her all his life.  He knew Belle better than a lot of people.  He also knew tons of guys who would date her just because she was hot, or because they knew she put out.  They weren't all that interested in knowing her, therefore, not as invested.  Not like Sebastian would be, or was.  "No, that's not- that wasn't my intention.  I meant that, I know you're more than that, I just hope he sees it too.  I mean, okay fair enough, clearly he does."  Sebastian sighed looking at her apologetically, "You're right, he has a lot at stake, I guess that makes him pretty invested."  It was just a lot to swallow, but Sebastian was trying while also trying not to be a jealous ass.  Sebastian at least let out a laugh, covering his face  lightly before reaching down to grab a chicken lollipop, "Anabelle, don't take this the wrong way, but he's my teacher.  I'm not sure how well I want to know him.  Maybe later on, when it's sunk in a bit, we could get drinks, I don't know..." he laughed, "It's... a lot to absorb."  Sebastian put this chicken down, reaching over to grab her hand, "Hey, you're not a mess though."  She wasn't, not the way Sebastian saw it.  She was really bettering herself, and even if she didn't feel better, she had an A+ for trying in his book.  "Really, you know I'm just jealous," he half joked, though he knew he meant it completely.  "Guess I'm just not old enough for you."

[Belle Fitzgerald]

Belle sat across form Sebastian with her arms crossed, doing her best 'you're home late for curfew' look she could muster as a look of disappointment as he started to dig himself out of this whole. But who was she kidding? She couldn't stay mad at Sebastian. That was her buddy. "Oh...Sebastian... I don't think he would drink with us, I mean we're students," she said, giving a serious nod before realizing what she said, "Wait,..no..." she muttered to herself, slightly shaking her head. Clearly he would do a lot worse with his students. "..Anyway" she said, brushing her blonde moment off to the side. But he had taken her hand, and somehow that calmed her. She smiled, looking up at him as she traced her thumb along the side of his hand. "Well, thank you Sebastian," she said, squeezing his hand firmly. But then he made a joke about being jealous and not being old enough for her. "Oh darling," she said dramatically, "You get older every second," she said, winking at him before she looked down at the chicken. "Okay this table is too big for adequate food sharing. I'm coming over there," she said. She slid everything over hazardly, not paying much attention as to whether or not she would accidentally spill any wine before she picked up her jacket and brought it over to Sebastian's side, sliding to sit close to him. There was a side of them that the people of New York seemed to be fascinated by. A certain part of her understood it. They were young, they were rich, they got to live these exciting lives. But at the end of the day, weren't they just kids trying to make it through? "Unrealistic body expectations," she said, picking up one of the chicken lollipops and gesturing to how they push all of the meat down to one end. "But damn this bird be thick..." she said in her best 'ghetto' accent that she could before looking at Sebastian and smiling. "I'm stealing your cherry when the shakes get here," she said as a forewarning before diving into her second chicken lollipop already. She looked at Sebastian, doing her best to smile even though her cheeks had squirreled some chicken meat already and tried her best not to laugh. "Are you too old for me now?"