Post by Claire Jayne Madden on Sept 26, 2011 15:23:52 GMT -5
Claire’s shoulders hunched over as she placed her hands on her hips, trying her best to take in deep breaths. She’d been in the studio for hours now and the sweat was literally pouring off of her. Carter didn’t seem to care though, he thought that if you pushed yourself to your weakest point that it only made you stronger, and he kept yelling things at her to ‘motivate’ her, questioning why he had brought her out of all of the other students to try and light a fire under her. “ Where the hell is the passion, Claire?” he said, a more than pissed expression coming across his features as he strode from the other end of the studio to take his first mark again. ‘ Again. Seriously. We’re doing this till you get it right. Are you tired? You look tired… Keep doing it.”. Claire sighed and dropped her hands from her hips and readjusted her ponytail, placing the hairs that had gone stray back into the ponytail holder. She walked tiredly over to Carter before he looked over his shoulder. ‘ COME ON’ he yelled causing Claire to pick up her pace in her pointes before she stood in front of him. Carter wrapped his arm in front of her stomach, the other holding her arm out before he held onto it delicately and got into his own position. He took in a few deep breaths before he started counting off measurements, lifting Claire’s hand above her head and stood in place behind her as she did a pair of fouettes, his hand twirling her own in the air. But when he turned to spin her out so she would go on her own, he pulled against her arm quickly, to try and force her into not being tired when Claire slipped and slammed her hands against the wooden floor. Instead of trying to push herself up she shook her head and laid on her back. “I can’t” she said, feeling the coolness of the floor against her skin. “ I’m sorry, you what? You can’t? I picked you out of hundreds of girls… and you can’t?” he questioned, walking over to her, not apologizing for how he had thrown her against the ground.
Claire licked her lips trying to think of something to say back, but honestly she just didn’t care. About any of it. There was no sense in apologizing for something you didn’t give a shit about anymore. “ Guess you shouldn’t have picked me,” she said flatly, staring at the ceiling. She missed home, her apartment, her roommate, her friends. She even missed her brothers. “ No, I did not pick the wrong girl. You’re the only girl I remember from her auditions. Do you know how much passion and life you had in you? Where did that go? Where is that girl?” Claire continued to stare at the ceiling, her only movement being that of her chest and stomach as she tried to catch her breath. ‘ Get up,’ Carter said, clearly not done with her yet. “ No” Claire repeatedly quietly. It didn’t sound forceful but she knew she wasn’t getting up. “ You know what I think?” he said, moving away from the mirror now and heading over to Claire’s duffel bag. ‘ You’re too talented for your age. You’re immature. You let yourself lose focus. All over someone who doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things. You are going to let him ruin you Claire. Are you listening to me? He will ruin you. Because this is the most talented you’re every going to be. And your young damn heart, has ruined you.”. Claire made an offended face before she sat up on her elbows to watch Carter as he went to her duffelbag. “ What are you doing?” she asked before she pushed herself up quickly and went over to try and stop him. ‘ This kid… this.. is bullshit, Claire,” he opened her duffelbag and pulled out her sketchbook before he started tearing out pictures she had drawn of Shane, the Eiffel tower, Shane. Shane. He tore them out of their binding recklessly, throwing them to the ground as they tore to pieces. ‘ Is it worth it?” Carter asked, looking at Claire as though she had lost her damn mind.
“ Just admit it. You don’t even have to say it out loud to me. Just admit it to yourself. You’re in love with him. As in love as you can be for seventeen years old,” Carter said, flinging the sketchbook to the ground. “ And it’s going to cause you to throw everything you’ve worked for up to this point away” Claire looked at the ground to look at the pictures of Shane before she brought her eyeline back to Carter. “ Fine” she said , turning away from him. Claire made her way over to the other end of the studio to get her iPod which they had been using for the music selection. “ You admit it?” Carter asked, slightly skeptical at the way she had folded so easily. “ Yup,” Claire said, focusing her energy on tearing her iPod from the sound dock and ripping the electrical outlet from the wall. ‘ Where are you going?’ Carter asked, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘ I didn’t say practice was over,’. Claire shook her head throwing her things in her duffel bag, leaving Shane’s pictures spread across the floor. “ Practice is over, Carter” she said, shouldering the strap over herself and heading out the doors.
“ You’re going to forget your pictures, Claire,” Carter said mockingly as he followed Claire, standing between her and the doors as he faced her. ‘ You’re going to give up ballet for him?” Claire looked away from Carter, staring at the wall, just waiting for him to get out of her way. ‘ CLAIRE. Are you going to give up ballet.. for HIM?”. Carter grabbed her shoulders before he forced her to look at him. “ No!” Claire yelled at him , pushing his hands away from her shoulders. “ You are if you tell him you love him,”. Claire scoffed shaking her head. “ Who said I’m telling him? I’m not even speaking to him right now. The last guy that I told that? Didn’t work out so well. I can’t tell Shane. Cause if he wanted me, he’d know that by now. Which means he doesn’t. So no. I’m not giving up ballet for him. I’m just giving it up,” Claire looked away from Carter before she tried to push past him to reach the doors. Just as quickly, Carter grabbed her arm and turned her back around. ‘ You have to have passion in your life, for something… in order to be talented at this. In order for it to be believable’. Claire ripped her arm again from his hands, getting annoyed with the fact that he kept grabbing her. “ Like I said Carter. You picked the wrong girl,”. Claire watched him, able to tell that he was mentally trying to piece something together before he took both of her cheeks in his hand and leaned down to kiss her. “ Carter!” she tried to yell with his lips pressed against hers, her hands shoving against his chest. Quickly Claire moved her lips to grip her teeth against his bottom one and bit down as hard as she possibly could. Carter jumped back instantly, pressing his fingers against his bottom lip. ‘ You bit me…’ jhe said, looking at her slightly stunned. ‘ See, there’s passion in you yet’ he said before he took his fingers away from his lips, moving back down to kiss Claire, this time pushing her against the wall.
Claire tried to push away from the wall before she put her hands on Carter’s chest and gripped her fingers against his shirt, just enough to clutch to him before she jerked her knee up quickly and brought it roughly against the inside of his leg. “ STOP “ she yelled at him, pushing him further away from her. Claire leaned down to pick her duffel bag back up and checked her own lip to see if there was any blood before she instinctively began to look through her bag for her cell phone. After she pulled it out she dialed Dalton’s number, holding her phone against her ear. Carter was standing off to the side, leaning forward and it seemed like he was trying to take in a lot of breaths. She pushed the doors open and headed out. ‘ You can’t just leave, Claire’ he said, now with both of his hands on his knees. “ I’m not just leaving. I quit,” Claire said, holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder. ‘For what? You’re dancing for no one. You can’t even tell someone you’re in love with them. You are letting him ruin you, Claire. You don’t even get anything in return for that,”. Claire shook her head quickly, sick of hearing him talk. “ FUCK YOU, CARTER” she yelled at him before she finally left the studio and waited for Dalton to pick up the phone.
“ Hey Dalt, it’s Claire. Do you think you could pick me up at the airport? I’m taking the next flight out,” she said quickly, running out of the building and onto the streets of Paris. Claire looked down the streets, debating whether or not she should try to get a taxi or just walk back to her hotel room. She bit the inside of her lip before she turned down the sidewalk and made her way down the packed walkways. “ Yeah it’s early but um.. it’s fine. The program ended early because any practice that’s left can be done stateside. No sense in paying for a hotel room when I could be sleeping in my own bed at night,” she lied, trying to find a reason as to why she was coming home so early. Claire crossed the street quickly, walking down a few blocks as she talked to Dalton, asking for his help on finding a plane ticket, asking him to not tell anyone and.. the last part was sort of tricky. She needed him. To just stay with him. Kyle was a great roommate, but she just wanted someone in her life that she knew loved her. No matter how much she hated herself right now, for letting herself do it again. She’d fallen for the same type of guy. Again. But if she couldn’t even love ballet anymore, than no one else was worth it. But the thing was, she wasn’t even mad at either of them. Shane and Anthony. If anything she was just mad at herself, for being so young and naïve. Better to learn this lesson now, cause she sure as hell wasn’t opening her heart to love, biggest lie known to mankind. There wasn’t going to be anyone at the end of the night that inspired you to be better, that loved you for all of your faults, that stood by your side. There was one promise in life, death. And she’d single handedly just caused the death of her ballet career, so what was left?
Ten hours later, Claire was waking up on the plane as it descended into New York. What was supposed to feel like home. But instead of seeing the bright lights and excitement everyone looked for, all she could think of was the darkness of the city, the grunge. She pushed her hair behind her ear, standing up to get her carry-on bag before she headed out to the baggage claim to get her suitcase. She wasn’t sure if she was going to quit the ABA and go back to the School of Performing Arts. She didn’t even know what to decide today. She just wanted to be home; Australia, home. But that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Claire held her carry on bag over her shoulder, dragging the wheeled luggage behind her until she saw Dalton and her heart broke instantly. How could she lie to the one person that had always been there for her? He was strict and intimidating, but she had such a different relationship with him than Ethan did. Dalton was made her feel protected, and even he couldn’t protect her from being a teenage girl who had gotten herself in this mess. She smiled as she approached him, though her eyes instantly filled with tears before she dropped her luggage to the side and sank into his chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly.
Claire licked her lips trying to think of something to say back, but honestly she just didn’t care. About any of it. There was no sense in apologizing for something you didn’t give a shit about anymore. “ Guess you shouldn’t have picked me,” she said flatly, staring at the ceiling. She missed home, her apartment, her roommate, her friends. She even missed her brothers. “ No, I did not pick the wrong girl. You’re the only girl I remember from her auditions. Do you know how much passion and life you had in you? Where did that go? Where is that girl?” Claire continued to stare at the ceiling, her only movement being that of her chest and stomach as she tried to catch her breath. ‘ Get up,’ Carter said, clearly not done with her yet. “ No” Claire repeatedly quietly. It didn’t sound forceful but she knew she wasn’t getting up. “ You know what I think?” he said, moving away from the mirror now and heading over to Claire’s duffel bag. ‘ You’re too talented for your age. You’re immature. You let yourself lose focus. All over someone who doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things. You are going to let him ruin you Claire. Are you listening to me? He will ruin you. Because this is the most talented you’re every going to be. And your young damn heart, has ruined you.”. Claire made an offended face before she sat up on her elbows to watch Carter as he went to her duffelbag. “ What are you doing?” she asked before she pushed herself up quickly and went over to try and stop him. ‘ This kid… this.. is bullshit, Claire,” he opened her duffelbag and pulled out her sketchbook before he started tearing out pictures she had drawn of Shane, the Eiffel tower, Shane. Shane. He tore them out of their binding recklessly, throwing them to the ground as they tore to pieces. ‘ Is it worth it?” Carter asked, looking at Claire as though she had lost her damn mind.
“ Just admit it. You don’t even have to say it out loud to me. Just admit it to yourself. You’re in love with him. As in love as you can be for seventeen years old,” Carter said, flinging the sketchbook to the ground. “ And it’s going to cause you to throw everything you’ve worked for up to this point away” Claire looked at the ground to look at the pictures of Shane before she brought her eyeline back to Carter. “ Fine” she said , turning away from him. Claire made her way over to the other end of the studio to get her iPod which they had been using for the music selection. “ You admit it?” Carter asked, slightly skeptical at the way she had folded so easily. “ Yup,” Claire said, focusing her energy on tearing her iPod from the sound dock and ripping the electrical outlet from the wall. ‘ Where are you going?’ Carter asked, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘ I didn’t say practice was over,’. Claire shook her head throwing her things in her duffel bag, leaving Shane’s pictures spread across the floor. “ Practice is over, Carter” she said, shouldering the strap over herself and heading out the doors.
“ You’re going to forget your pictures, Claire,” Carter said mockingly as he followed Claire, standing between her and the doors as he faced her. ‘ You’re going to give up ballet for him?” Claire looked away from Carter, staring at the wall, just waiting for him to get out of her way. ‘ CLAIRE. Are you going to give up ballet.. for HIM?”. Carter grabbed her shoulders before he forced her to look at him. “ No!” Claire yelled at him , pushing his hands away from her shoulders. “ You are if you tell him you love him,”. Claire scoffed shaking her head. “ Who said I’m telling him? I’m not even speaking to him right now. The last guy that I told that? Didn’t work out so well. I can’t tell Shane. Cause if he wanted me, he’d know that by now. Which means he doesn’t. So no. I’m not giving up ballet for him. I’m just giving it up,” Claire looked away from Carter before she tried to push past him to reach the doors. Just as quickly, Carter grabbed her arm and turned her back around. ‘ You have to have passion in your life, for something… in order to be talented at this. In order for it to be believable’. Claire ripped her arm again from his hands, getting annoyed with the fact that he kept grabbing her. “ Like I said Carter. You picked the wrong girl,”. Claire watched him, able to tell that he was mentally trying to piece something together before he took both of her cheeks in his hand and leaned down to kiss her. “ Carter!” she tried to yell with his lips pressed against hers, her hands shoving against his chest. Quickly Claire moved her lips to grip her teeth against his bottom one and bit down as hard as she possibly could. Carter jumped back instantly, pressing his fingers against his bottom lip. ‘ You bit me…’ jhe said, looking at her slightly stunned. ‘ See, there’s passion in you yet’ he said before he took his fingers away from his lips, moving back down to kiss Claire, this time pushing her against the wall.
Claire tried to push away from the wall before she put her hands on Carter’s chest and gripped her fingers against his shirt, just enough to clutch to him before she jerked her knee up quickly and brought it roughly against the inside of his leg. “ STOP “ she yelled at him, pushing him further away from her. Claire leaned down to pick her duffel bag back up and checked her own lip to see if there was any blood before she instinctively began to look through her bag for her cell phone. After she pulled it out she dialed Dalton’s number, holding her phone against her ear. Carter was standing off to the side, leaning forward and it seemed like he was trying to take in a lot of breaths. She pushed the doors open and headed out. ‘ You can’t just leave, Claire’ he said, now with both of his hands on his knees. “ I’m not just leaving. I quit,” Claire said, holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder. ‘For what? You’re dancing for no one. You can’t even tell someone you’re in love with them. You are letting him ruin you, Claire. You don’t even get anything in return for that,”. Claire shook her head quickly, sick of hearing him talk. “ FUCK YOU, CARTER” she yelled at him before she finally left the studio and waited for Dalton to pick up the phone.
“ Hey Dalt, it’s Claire. Do you think you could pick me up at the airport? I’m taking the next flight out,” she said quickly, running out of the building and onto the streets of Paris. Claire looked down the streets, debating whether or not she should try to get a taxi or just walk back to her hotel room. She bit the inside of her lip before she turned down the sidewalk and made her way down the packed walkways. “ Yeah it’s early but um.. it’s fine. The program ended early because any practice that’s left can be done stateside. No sense in paying for a hotel room when I could be sleeping in my own bed at night,” she lied, trying to find a reason as to why she was coming home so early. Claire crossed the street quickly, walking down a few blocks as she talked to Dalton, asking for his help on finding a plane ticket, asking him to not tell anyone and.. the last part was sort of tricky. She needed him. To just stay with him. Kyle was a great roommate, but she just wanted someone in her life that she knew loved her. No matter how much she hated herself right now, for letting herself do it again. She’d fallen for the same type of guy. Again. But if she couldn’t even love ballet anymore, than no one else was worth it. But the thing was, she wasn’t even mad at either of them. Shane and Anthony. If anything she was just mad at herself, for being so young and naïve. Better to learn this lesson now, cause she sure as hell wasn’t opening her heart to love, biggest lie known to mankind. There wasn’t going to be anyone at the end of the night that inspired you to be better, that loved you for all of your faults, that stood by your side. There was one promise in life, death. And she’d single handedly just caused the death of her ballet career, so what was left?
Ten hours later, Claire was waking up on the plane as it descended into New York. What was supposed to feel like home. But instead of seeing the bright lights and excitement everyone looked for, all she could think of was the darkness of the city, the grunge. She pushed her hair behind her ear, standing up to get her carry-on bag before she headed out to the baggage claim to get her suitcase. She wasn’t sure if she was going to quit the ABA and go back to the School of Performing Arts. She didn’t even know what to decide today. She just wanted to be home; Australia, home. But that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Claire held her carry on bag over her shoulder, dragging the wheeled luggage behind her until she saw Dalton and her heart broke instantly. How could she lie to the one person that had always been there for her? He was strict and intimidating, but she had such a different relationship with him than Ethan did. Dalton was made her feel protected, and even he couldn’t protect her from being a teenage girl who had gotten herself in this mess. She smiled as she approached him, though her eyes instantly filled with tears before she dropped her luggage to the side and sank into his chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly.
