[Ethan] Look What You Started

[Rose Elliot Madison]

Rosie sat down beside Joel, taking her coat off. If it was possible for New York city to get even colder, it most definitely had. She had be bag in her lap, and looked at Joel. God, he looked just like he was sleeping, as if sleeping could take off a few years. He looked so young, it was heart breaking. She missed that little dork. He was so full of life, and now he looked like every bright light ion him had just died out. Madeline had already written him off as if he had died. Acted like he was dead. That was how Madeline coped. But Rosie knew he was in there, trapped in his own head. They said people in comas could hear you, Rosie wasn't sure. But it was worth a try. Rosie took his hand and gave it a squeeze leaning her elbow on the mattress, "Hey Joel," she said, touching his cheek. "We miss you around here. You really don't even understand how many fans you have, I wish you could see just how many are backing you up." Rosie reached into her bag and pulled out letter, printed out tweets, facebook messages, you name it, all kinds of fan mail telling Joel how much people missed him and wished him a fast recovery. She opened a letter and began reading one, "Okay this is from s girl named Rachel... 'Joel, you are an inspiration to people every where. You had big dreams and nothing stopped you from going out and grabbing them, please get better soon! love Rachel.'" Rosie sighed, looking at him. Nothing. She picked another one, "'Dear Joel, your music has helped me through such hard times, never say never! You have so many fans behind you, our turn to tell you never say never! Please don't give up Joel, we all love you so much. Love Alli.' So many girls love you Joel..." she chuckled.

Rosie didn't even feel the hours pass by, how long had she sat there? She'd read every fan letter, tweet, and comment that she had brought with her. She looked at her watch. She really had to get home... she felt like she needed to call her sister. The more she realized how thin of ice they were on with Joel, she missed her little sister like crazy. It could be anyone's sibling in this situation. And Joel was her sibling. She couldn't imagine what she'd do if this was her baby sister laying there. "Oh Joel, I love you honey." She leaned down to kiss his cheek, and picked up her things. Every time she left she felt awful. She hated leaving him. On her way out the nurses said good bye. Sad that they recognized her beyond her modeling and more so now for being one of the people that visited Joel regularly. She texted her sister on the way home, asking if she could talk, but she was at practice so she'd have to call her later. Rosie made her way into her building and up to her floor, digging out her key and put it in the lock. She realized the door was already unlocked though. Had she forgotten to lock it earlier? Maybe she had, her thoughts had kind of been jumbled when she left. But when she opened the door she was surprised at who greeted her.

[Ethan John Fox]

Ethan cursed beneath his breath as he paced Rosie’s apartment, looking down at every contact in his phone that might be able to tell him where she was. He couldn’t stay in town for very long. He’d left when he had just a few hours to spare. She was going through a lot right now, well they all were. But he knew that she was trying to seem stronger than she actually was. He picked his phone back up, dialing Madeline’s number one more time. Thankfully this time she picked up, “ Hey where’s Rosie?” he asked quickly, relieved just to have someone on the phone. ‘ Oh she’s on her way home’ Madeline said softly, though it sounded like she was doing something in the background. Probably cooking for Ryan. Actually, no. Probably taking food out of take out boxes and putting it on a plate for Ryan. ‘ Just head to her place, she’ll be there soon’ she said, hanging up just as quickly as she’d do that. “ Yeah, I’ll do that” he sighed to himself before he looked around her apartment.

Ethan sat down at the couch , turning his neck from side to side. Stress was sort of getting to him. This time set wasn’t so bad. He was able to fly home whenever he wanted to. He wouldn’t be filming much longer. He wasn’t a lead. It was a lot more relaxed. Well, it was a lot more relaxed in the work sense. Back home everyone he cared about seemed to be going through something. But Rosie was the one he had been talking to the most and there was a part of him that just wanted to take care of her when she was hurting, though he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to do that. He sat up off the couch instantly, hearing as she placed her key in the door which was pointless since he had already unlocked it anyways. “ Rosie,” he said as she stepped inside, rushing towards her, “ I got here as fast as I could,” he said, wrapping his arms around her as he pulled her into his chest to hug her. Ethan held his arms wrapped around her frame, resting his cheek against the top of her hair. After standing there for a few moments he leaned away so that he could get a look at her, keeping one of his arms wrapped around her and then sliding the other hand into her hair. “ How are you holding up?” he asked gently, looking down at her before all of the sudden he felt himself pushing her purse from her shoulder so that it would drop to the floor and pressed her back against the wall in the doorway. Ethan placed his hands against her skin carefully, wanting to kiss her but at the same time not wanting to think he was being too aggressive, she had a lot going on in her life right now. And all he wanted was to comfort her, take care of her, treat her how she wanted to be treated. Ethan held his hand against the soft skin of her neck before he slowly pulled away, wrapping her into another tight hug.

[Rose Elliot Madison]

As Rosie stepped into her apartment and pushed the door closed behind her, she looked at Ethan in bewilderment, not expecting to find anyone in her apartment, and especially not Ethan. He was supposed to be filming, surely he was on a tight schedule? But it didn't change the increasing relief that was washing over her. Things lately had been rough and though Rosie did well to put on a strong front to help her family and friends when they needed it right now, it didn't change that she too was struggling with things. She wanted to be strong for Madeline, keep hope that Joel would pull through this. And the one person that she would feel completely comfortable just letting down her guard with and showing how distressed she was, had been in a completely different state filming a movie. Not that she blamed him, he was just doing his job, it wasn't as if he had known that Joel would be involved in an accident and that Rosie would need him here instead of filming a movie. But it also wasn't as if she was going to call him up and demand he come back for her own selfish reasons. No matter how much she could use a hug from someone who gave very very good hugs. And could always tell when she was trying really hard to keep it together.

Rosie was still taking in the fact that he was there but hugged him back. "When did you...?" She felt so relieved it was silly. She didn't know if it was his hugs or if it was just him, but just hugging her made her feel at least some better. She felt herself lean into him, finally feeling the weight of everything going on lately. Ethan pulled away but she kept her arms around him, shaking her head slightly when he asked how she was holding up, saying honestly, "Horribly." Before she could say much else, Ethan had pushed her bag from her shoulder, hearing it drop to the floor and felt her back against the wall. He'd taken her by surprise for sure, not expecting him to kiss her like that. But on that note, she had just told Madeline not even a couple of weeks ago that she decided she liked Ethan as more than a friend, so she wasn't going to tell him no. It was the fact that he had been the one to say he didn't want to ruin their friendship by complicating things that confused her with what his intentions were. Maybe he changed his mind. Or maybe he decided he wanted more too. There really was no telling what he was thinking, friggin man of mystery that one. So she just kissed him back because, really it wasn't as if he was going to stop and explain his feelings, that just wasn't Ethan. She'd take what she could get.

One second he's kissing her, the next second he's pulling her back into his arms for a hug. Make up your mind, boy, she thought to herself. Ethan was being the king of mixed signals. She was super, super glad he had flown home to see her because she really did need to see him, but she was starting to wonder if he himself wasn't exactly sure what his own intentions were. Maybe he just needed help... figuring it out. Rosie rested her head against his shoulder briefly, before she pulled away from him and brought her hands up to either side of his face. What was going on in that pretty head, hmm? So, so difficult to read. She was searching his face, trying to figure this shit out and just decided that she'd kiss him back instead. Rosie pulled him in closer and met him half way, pressing her lips to his softly. He really couldn't protest, he started it anyways. If he didn't think she was going to kiss him back he shouldn't have kissed her first. He had been the one to draw the friend line, and then he had been the one to cross it first. Yup, she was gonna blame him if he went back on it now. Because really, she couldn't help herself. He was like that addicting, once you start, why would you stop, type of guy. She wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. If she had known kissing Ethan was going to be like this she probably would have vetoed the friends idea and told him straight up she liked him. But better late than never.

[Ethan John Fox]

Ethan rested his cheek against the side of Rosie’s hair, holding his arms wrapped around her tightly. He couldn’t change the fact that he was in North Carolina, or that her sister was in England. He couldn’t change the fact that Joel was laying in a hospital bed while his friends filtered in and out to see him every day. He couldn’t change the fact that every one in their circle was on pins and needles, filling some sort of role that they all felt they needed to play, keeping it together for everyone else. But no one was keeping it together for themselves. Madeline took care of Ryan. Rosie took care of Madeline. Rosie and Madeline took care of each other. Felicia and Dani took care of each other and held it together. The guys, Dex, Gabe, Jake, Lance, they all sort of just became these fixtures for the girls to curl up against, quiet and doing nothing but listen, hold the girls. But Rosie didn’t have that, she didn’t have anyone in New York holding her and telling her that it was going to be okay. Sure there was Madeline, but that wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same as when Madeline curled up on the couch with Ryan. It wasn’t the same as when Dex let Felicia lay against his chest and combed his fingers through her hair quietly. At the end of the night every one had someone to curl up next to in bed. And what did Rosie have? It was human nature to crave physical contact when you were in distress. Even now, after he had kissed her, Ethan could tell by her movements toward him that she was going for another. Her hands placed against his cheeks, leaning in to meet him halfway. Ethan rested his hand into the side of his hair. He’d do anything to help her, anything in the world.

Ethan wrapped his free arm around her lower waist, pulling her small frame closer against his body so that he could close the space between them. If this is what she wanted, then fine. And he knew she did. She’d pulled back after the talk they had a few weeks ago, but come on. He knew her better than anyone in the world. She wanted this, and he wasn’t sure for what purpose, but she’d been trying to hook up with him since they had met basically. No one jokes about something that much without some validity to it, and when there’s smoke there’s fire. Ethan bit the edge of her lip gently, taking in the flavor of her lipgloss and pulled her away from the wall and further into her apartment. He couldn’t stay in town for very long, not even for the night. But he wasn’t going to tell her that, not right now. That wasn’t what she needed to hear right now, or what she needed. She just needed to be embraced the same way everyone else was. Ethan pulled his lips away from her own, still pulling her backwards as he lowered his mouth to the soft skin of her neck where he followed a trail down to her collar bone as he slipped his fingers over the skin of her lower back.

[Rose Elliot Madison]

Some time later Rosie realized that it was beginning to get darker out, but it was too early for it to be evening. She rolled over from Ethan, moving the curtain that was permanently drawn closed at all times, (because she refused to let the morning sunlight wake her up,) and noticed that the sky that had been clear and blue not too long ago was dark with storm clouds. More snow to come, that's what they all got for living in New York. "No go away storm clouds, you make life for a clumsy person much more difficult," she mumbled, sighing. To say she was satisfied wasn't the right word. Because on one hand, while she had been curious about sleeping with Ethan for quite some time and it had been well worth the wait for sure, which yes, classified her as being satisfied in that sense, on the other hand she was stuck in this dilemma because she knew damn well she had a crush on him and he did not have one on her. So. The only thing she could really do was play it by ear. Ethan had said they were friends, she could respect that, should respect that. Friends hooked up all the time, that wasn't an issue. He was hot, she was hot, bound to happen eventually, right? But she wasn't going to get all mushy gushy and confess her feelings when she knew damn well he wanted to be friends. She could save him the stress, and it didn't change how she felt about him. Friends could have crushes on each other and it never amount to anything. Not a big deal. Because now after sleeping with him it wasn't as if the heavens had opened up and the angels were singing and it was some kind of romantic epiphany. He was still her best friend, besides Madeline. He was the same guy who teased her about being clumsy, let her hide behind him during scary movies, made her laugh until she snorted, made up ridiculous alter egos when he was trying to pick up chicks which she thought was hilarious and always tried to play along. She could be a good friend to him, a good wing man at the bars, somewhere to go and kick off his shoes and just relax with, share his frustrations about his love/hate relationship with movies, (love the paycheck, hate the fame.) When had they ever gotten awkward about anything? Never. When did either of them really worry about it all that much? Never. She could be annoying like every annoying, clingy chick out there, or she could be herself and handle it the way she would, which would be to just not make a big deal out of it. Because it wasn't. She was easy going to say the least, if friends worked well for them, why try to force it into something else? And, on that note, friends casually hooked up. Wasn't uncommon.

Rosie rolled back over and nestled back where she had been, which was curled against his side. "You aren't staying very long are you," she said, more of a statement rather then a question. He probably had a short break for the day, not having seen each other all too much since everything with Joel. She knew he felt bad not being able to be there when she needed him, but she managed for the most part. At least for some time until it really just got too heavy on her shoulders. She was glad he came back, even if it was only for a few hours. She was sure he must have to go back and film that evening or something. But she did feel some what better. Not so much the sex, though that was good too, just the, being in the same room so you can actually hug me, part. Hugs must have healing powers, she'd needed it. She wasn't sure what was going to happen with Joel, which was still scary, but somewhere in her head she felt more sure that he would pull through. Maybe she was being an idiot to get her own hopes up, but Ethan made a lot of things better, including her emotions abut Joel. She couldn't help feeling a little bit of fresh hope for the kid.

[Ethan John Fox]

Ethan laid with his arm behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, mulling over his thoughts on what had just happened. He didn’t regret it by any means, but he did feel sort of shitty about what happened next. Or, what was going to happen. It felt strange leaving her place right afterwards. Not because of the activity itself, but because of who he was walking away from. He didn’t want to treat Rosie like she was every other girl he had bolted from. He hadn’t even intended to sleep with her. It just sort of happened. As awful as that sounded. At any rate, she was already sliding out of bed and making her way to the window. Rain? He groaned, sitting up. He hated traveling in New York when it was raining. Besides, rain was the kind of weather that made you want to stay in . He watched her carefully as she made a statement, saying that he wasn’t staying long. “ No,” he said gently to confirm that he had to leave soon. Ethan stood from the bed, picking his boxers up off of the floor before he pulled them on to the edge of his hips.

Ethan watched her by the window before he sat back down against the bed, laying back the way he was before she curled back up against him. He dropped his hand lazily against her hair and began to pull his fingers through it lightly. Her hair was always so soft, easy to play with. “ I’m sorry that I have to go.. I want you to know I didn’t intend for this to happen this way,” he said quietly, twirling the ends of her hair in his fingers. He opened his mouth to say something else, explain himself further but then stopped and closed it again quickly. Since when had he ever explained anything? That just wasn’t in his nature. It wasn’t how he handled things. He didn’t express his feelings or his motives, or his agenda. He didn’t explain why his brain worked the way it did. He just went with things and if someone was bothered enough to know something then maybe they would ask. Ethan dropped his hand and ran it against her arm before he kissed the top of her shoulder gently. “ Rosie…” he said resting his chin against her shoulder. “ …. Teach me how to dougie” he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back out of bed. Maybe they could pretend for another half hour he didn’t have to leave. Maybe he could try to get her to smile for five more minutes.

[Rose Elliot Madison]

Rosie laid still for a second, just thinking and feeling the steady bump that was Ethan's heart beating under her head. Well it made sense, they couldn't just lay there forever. Ethan told her he was sorry, and that he hadn't planned for that to happen, but Rosie understood. It wasn't as if he had said, hey I think I'll show up at Rosie's place looking for sex and see how that goes. It wasn't even close to being like that. Neither of them had expected it, but it was what it was. Rosie sighed, "I know you didn't. It's okay." She gave him and easy smile, tugging a t shirt off the floor beside the bed and tugged it on. It was a t shirt from her sisters school, supporting the girls field hockey team. People outside of her apartment NEVER saw her in t shirts. She slipped it over her slender frame just in time as Ethan pulled her up and demanded she teach her how to Dougie. She laughed out loud, trying to plant her feet firmly on the ground and stood up shaking her head, "I don't know if you can handle the Dougie. Do you even know what a Dougie is??" she teased. Leave it to Ethan to just move on like nothing was a big deal. They were always on the same page like that.

Rosie only knew how to dougie somewhat, and it was only because of Joel. But it was okay, it was a good memory of Joel. he was way good at dancing. "Okay," she said trying to get him to do what she was doing, "You have to do it like this... no not like that, haha you look like mick jagger, wrong song Ethan!" She laughed, putting the song on her ipod in its dock.

[Ethan John Fox]

Ethan relaxed as he saw how easily Rosie adjusted back to normal. So they had slept together. Did that mean they needed to change everything about themselves? Absolutely not. He cared about her for a reason and if they went and changed, then wouldn’t their friendship? He laughed as he watched Rosie start doing the dougie, which surely someone else would have had to teach her. He tried a few times but didn’t catch the hang of it right away as she corrected him. People seemed to have the assumption that he was a bad dancer; he wasn’t. After he got the hang of it he did it a few times and then stopped, turning to the side to watch as Rosie continued to dance. He laughed as he watched her, but then busted into the moves like jagger dance he did for her frequently since she had brought it up.

Ethan looked around her bedroom and looked back at her, dancing so freely. He wondered when the last time she let her hair down was since everything that had happened with Joel. She probably was so busy making sure that she was taking care of everyone else that she hadn’t actually stopped to take care of herself. “ You know you can always come visit me in North Carolina, right? I wouldn’t mind the company, and Death would be thrilled to see you.. you could stay there as long as you wanted” he offered as he looked over at her. It wasn’t much he could offer, but it was better than what he had given her by not being there at all the last few weeks.

[Rose Elliot Madison]

Rosie laughed, watching Ethan do his stupid Mick Jagger moves. That was why they were such good friends. They both could just laugh at themselves and act like idiots and that was what they did and they got along and they just meshed like peanut butter and jelly. She stopped dancing and sighed, "Yeah i know. I might take you up on that offer. I feel kind of bad leaving but... I guess it'd be good." She stopped and pulled a pair of shorts on and then put her hair in a pony tail, leaving her room, figuring Ethan knew his way around and would join her in the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water and took a sip, sitting down at the table and looked at Ethan. "So how are things with you? Other than the movie and stuff." Sure Rosie saw Claire regularly, but she never really knew what was up with Dalton, or their parents. Rosie wondered about them sometimes, did they keep in touch with each other? Rosie talked about her dad and sister all the time, she hardly heard much about Mr. and Mrs. Fox. She wondered if they even knew that Claire was pregnant, or that Ethan was doing a movie. Again.

"Ethan, do you ever hear from your parents?" she asked calmly, she wasn't looking for a life story, she just never heard much about them, and it was weird to her since she herself talked about her little sister non stop sometimes, like a proud momma. He family was such a big thing for her, being away from them was always the last thing she wanted. Ethan was lucky he had Claire and Dalton so nearby.