[Shane] No Sense In Hiding

[Shane Alexander Madden]

I figured as much.

Ha, you wouldn't do that. Not since you 'sort of' like me. And oh yeah, me and Zack are still going strong, we're attached at the hip. All day long.

Sorry if it sucks being back there when everyone found out about us. I don't think anyone will give you shit, not any of my friends anyways. But still. What did Natalia and Ethan have to say about it? Or did you not talk about it?

[Claire Jayne Madden]

Umm.. I think Natalia was just upset that I didn't tell her. But it's not like you and I's picture was blasted in some gossip blog and she had to find out that way. I would have told her eventually. Sorry.

Ethan and I haven't really talked about it. He's sent me a few text messages, but it's whatever. He thinks you're a good guy, and I'm just kind of like..mate.. we're not dating. We slept together. People do that. It doesn't mean we want to get involved.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Right. Doesn't mean we want to. We could want to though.

[Claire Jayne Madden]

Right but we don't. You're on tour, I've got a crazy busy schedule.

Besides you look at our history with who we've dated, and neither of us have ever dated anyone like each other before.

Obviously we're not really each others type.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

*laughs*That doesn't mean shit on my end of things, not one girl I've ever dated slash been involved with has been anything alike.

[Claire Jayne Madden]

Okay yeah but... it's bad for your image. And I've got this whole ballet thing... and I'd make a horrible person to date. I'm not even a good friend to you.

I'm seventeen. And I have unwarranted trust issues. I have no idea who I am. I'm mean to you more than half the time. I lie to my brother constantly. I have to make myself sick in order to do the one thing I love... I'm a mess. Trust me.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

You'll find every reason to run. Been there.

You know, I'm fully aware of all of those things. All of them. Obviously it didn't scare me off thus far. But I get what you mean. We don't have to be anything, you got you're stuff, I got mine. It's cool.

[Claire Jayne Madden]

Run? I don't run, Shane.

You've seen me fight for the things I want. Yeah, I do got my stuff. And I would think you would want me to do really well. You know how important it is for me to make a name for myself and not based on people I'm associated with. I'm good at it. Right now. I won't be in five years when I'm old and gross. I'm not running, that's not fair for you to say that.

AND. If I've been running, it's been to you. Who is the only person that knows every detail of my life right now? Yeah, it's you. Asshole.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

I know that, I do want you to do your thing, that's what important to you right now. Yeah you have fought for things you want, it's easy to fight for things your not scared of. *grins, raises an eyebrow*

Yeah, I do the same thing. We run to each other, that's why we are where we are.

[Claire Jayne Madden]

I am not scared of you!

For your information, ballet is the thing that terrifies me most in life, thank you very much. Because it can crush me more than anything. I'm not good at anything else. It's literally all I have at this point, and if I lose it then poof.. I'm gone, the thing that defines me has vanished and I'd be this... shell...

We don't run to each other. I do not run to you. I don't need to run to anyone. I am severely independent, thank you very much. You however, run to me. Constantly.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Hey, at least i'm on your list of things worth fighting for.

Claire there's a lot of stuff you're good at other then ballet. And don't even ask me to list them for you because that's ridiculous. You know what you're good at. And sometimes it takes putting something big on the back burner to realize you have other talents. Like me, I am good at writing music. I might say I'm not good at anything else. But if I stopped writing music, I would have time to try other things. And I might realize hey, I am really good at... pottery. Or Calculus. Or... cooking. But how would I ever know, unless I set my guitar down for two seconds and actually tried something else?

Oh yeah. You're right. You've never run to me ever. But seriously you can't say one thing and change what you say two seconds later, you're giving me whiplash.

[Claire Jayne Madden]

You don't even make sense half the time you speak. *glares*

You know what if you actually approached me like a normal girl, and said hey.. i'd like to take you out on a date, that would be completely different. You're not even in the same state, Madden. What can be started when you're not in the same state? Nothing. We'd be doing the exact same thing we're doing now. Skype convos.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Well, you know what Claire, I'm sorry that I can't ask to take you out and show up at your door and do the whole date thing. I'm sorry that skype convos aren't enough, I got it. And I'm not asking for them to be enough. But yes, with me, you might have to wait until I get back from places, and even so, after I get back, pretty soon i might go off to other places and you'd be waiting for me some more. I get that you don't want to wait. I get that my career doesn't make dating me easy. That's fine, if you don't want to make anything out of this we won't. I'm not gonna ask you to wait around while I stop in a different city every night.

Look, I'm not trying to piss you off. I just don't want you to think I expect stuff from you that you didn't sign up for. That's all. We said we were working things out, we are.

[Claire Jayne Madden]

I didn't say it wasn't enough, I said there wouldn't be any difference in our lives whether we were friends or whether we were dating right now, when literally all we can do anyways is skype.

Don't be mean to me, I have enough riding on my shoulders. I wasn't asking you to show up and whisk me away on a date. I'm the one that comes to you. Incase you've forgotten. It fucks up my school schedule. I have to rearrange dance rehearsals. And I show up. Because I want you to be happy, and I want to surprise you. And I do all of that, because I fully understand that your career means waiting around, eating ben and jerry's while watching wizards of waverly place, while the guy i like gets to rock out on a stage where people can pay fifty bucks to see him but I can't. Don't sit there and act like I don't understand, when I've sacrificed a hell of a lot, put my shit on the backburner, just so I could come see you.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

I'm sorry, I know... *rubs face* I do appreciate it. I do. I know you drop everything, most days I wish I could do the same.

So really we're back at square one. Waiting until something is different.