Post by Joel Carter Foster on Feb 24, 2012 18:15:00 GMT -5
Joel took in deep breaths, trying his best to calm his heart. He just performed his first sold out arena, and honest to God he had no idea what he had gotten himself into. All of the rehearsals, all of the recordings, all of the vocal trainings, radio interviews, photoshoots.. and he still felt a bit overwhelmed sometimes. The second his grades started slipping, Logan was on his ass about that. Bring your grades up, you know your dad won’t let you continue to work if your grades drop. That was the jist of his speech, every time. And it was true. He was juggling school, trying to just grasp this dream he’d had ever since he was a kid and he was trying to do all of that while staying the same smart-ass, flirty kid he had always been. He wasn’t the nicest guy in the world by any means, he said a lot of dipshit things. But he had a way of doing it with a smirk, a hair flip.. the world seemed to be alright with it. He licked his lips, peeling his sweat soaked shirt off of his back. Madeline had already come in to see him, Patrick with her. Prick. Ryan, Shane, Logan, Lance, Jake.. people he considered his brothers, already saw them. Joel threw his shirt into the corner and stretched his arms out as he headed over to the shower. There was only one person left that he was going to see, and she was probably socializing with a few other people. She wouldn’t mind if he took a quick shower, he’d earned it right?
Joel turned on the hot water and let it fall against his back. There wasn’t anything in the world that he wanted this career. He’d give up anything. He’d given up his private life, his dream for anything else, he’d given up any option for romance. He didn’t want one. Honestly. All he wanted was to get on stage, perform his music, and make every damn girl in that audience feel special for one night, like he was singing directly to them. He wanted to give them the experience. Joel licked his lips and brought his hair into the water, closing his eyes tightly as the steam in the shower started to build up. The journey here hadn’t been easy. His big push had been brought on by his brothers’ suicide, which still ate at him every damn day, every damn hour. His random acts of behavior? His overactive hyperness? That was usually just him trying to distract himself from the thoughts that haunted him. He could still remember every show he had done in Cape Town, where his roots had all started. He remembered when Madeline started bringing her best friend Rosie home. Everyone had taken her into their family with such open arms. Joel blatantly hit on her, even though she was like his sister. His hot, one hell of a body, just want to find out what her skin feels like sister.. Awkward. He had the greatest support system he could have ever hoped for, every body was on his side and there wasn’t a damn thing that was going to hold him back. Then he woke up one morning and David was gone. His number one fan, his number one motivator. Ripped from the world. Madeline was in the states. His parents had fallen apart. Music was on hold.. but not for long. It took about a month for Joel to get out of his depression, and just like that he was on his way to the states. On his way to move in with Madeline. On his way to use her connections to get his name known. It seemed like just yesterday he was jumping on Logan Renners’ desk. Life didn’t give hand outs. It wasn’t easy and you didn’t become successful without putting in footwork. He couldn’t save his brother. But here’s what he could do. He could give everything during dance rehearsals. He could sweat out everything he had. Lose his voice from trying to get the perfect recordings. Meet every fan that waited for him. Fall onto the floor because he felt like he was dying from doing everything in his power to give it his all. Literally. He would do all of it, to just connect with someone, anyone. To give them a connection, to feel like they were close to someone, to give them an experience that David never had with anyone.
Joel brought his head out of the water, shaking his hand over his hair as he recalled the first time someone recognized him. He was walking down the street and it seemed like the sweetest thing ever. ‘ Are you Joel Foster?’ the little girl had asked so shyly. She must’ve been about seven or eight, and that was the first time he had kneeled down and wrapped his arm around one of his fans, taken a picture with them , talked to them for a few minutes. After they had walked away he remembered looking at Ryan, just in awe of how amazing that was. Someone’s day was made because they met him? How insane was that. Then after awhile, a few more small shows, a few more interviews, he was on his way to Victoria Secret at the mall for an unveiling that Rosie and Madeline were doing. Yet again, Ryan was in tow. And that was the first time he had ever been mobbed. He’d never been so scared in his life, and it seemed like it happened all at once. He was just chilling there with his Orange Julius and talking with Ryan, when all of the sudden there was a single voice that yelled out his name and it was like there was a charge. He’d dropped his shake completely and had hauled ass, yelling for Logan out of being scared of where to go. Thankfully he had been able to run to the back of the mall and escape by Ryan bringing his old ass bronco. He’d climbed in through the window, not even taking time to open the door and when he had settled himself he was just screaming for Ryan to drive, looking down at the clawmarks against his arms.
Sometimes he wondered if he was giving up too much, if he shouldn’t limit himself from relationships. As far as the public was aware, he was with Dani and that was great. She was pretty much one of the most adorable damn things on the planet and they fed off of each other well. There were a lot of rumors going around that he was with Natalia and it had finally driven him insane. If there were going to be rumors about who he was with – he was going to control it. Thankfully, Dani obliged. But at the end of the day he knew his commitment to his work overpowered any level of commitment he could give to anyone else. But more than anything, he didn’t want to ever admit to anyone how tired he was. Logan wanted one more run during practice even though he felt like he was about to collapse? He’d give him five. There wasn’t a chance in hell he would let anyone see him as anything but the hyper, unfocused, immature kid on a segway that flirted with every pair of legs that passed his way. He’d rather be seen as that than for people to know how alone he felt most of the time. This wasn’t about him. It was so much more. Joel shut the water off and wrapped the towel around his waist before he dried off his body completely and put on a new pair of clothes, not caring that his hair was still wet. Just in the nick of time too because the girl he’d been waiting on was making her way through the door.
“ Hey baby” he said, making his way over to Rosie before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. “ First sold out show, how was it?” he asked, noting how raspy his voice was. He hadn’t talked to anyone after the show yet and he was surprised at how much he had worn it out with this performance. Logan was gonna be on his ass about that one. “ You’re lookin’ good, get all dolled up for me?” he asked with a grin, throwing her a wink before he took a step away from her and held his fist to his mouth and made an expression at how good Rosie looked. He’d seen her on stage once already. He’d made her come out and sit on a barstool as he serenaded her with ‘ One Less Lonely Girl’ and gave her a bouquet of roses. He did it every show, but this was such a big venue.. and Rosie was there.. who else was going to sit on that barstool? No one, it was for her. Joel picked up his baseball hat and pulled it on backwards over his wet hair. “ I figured we’d grab something to eat to go or something and head back to my place,” he said, coughing over his shoulder before he pulled his pants up at the side and headed out the door. Ryan would probably end up over, too. A lot of artists talked about who they were on stage was different than who they were in their private lives. Hell all you had to do was look at Ryan and know that was true. He was charismatic as fuck on stage, and then quiet as a mouse in private life. But Joel was sort of a what you see is what you get when it came to his personality. He never really felt like he could turn it off. But he sort of figured that was because the people he wanted to do this the most for, were his team. How many people could say that their team was their family? Logan, the label, the other artists he worked with? That was his family, that was what motivated him, it drove him to want to be so much more. Who cared if Shane and Ryan did different music than Joel did? Who cared if they wanted to make fun of him? Those were his brothers, which meant everything to him. There were few people in his life that weren’t involved in the music industry, and that was for a reason. You had to seriously understand it to understand Joel. He’d be there for you any second he could but you had to understand that the most important thing in his life was his music. Claire, Rosie, Jake.. they weren’t involved in music. But they sure as hell understood the lifestyle. Claire was with Shane, Rosie had been there the entire time Joel grew up she saw how much he gave it his all and what it meant to him, Jake was with Dani. It was strange at the studio, there were other artists that loved their music just as much as he loved his own. Ryan and Shane could probably live in their studios. Blake was dedicated to making her music touch everybody, Natalia had a great fanbase. But Joel felt like he was one of the few that worked on every facet of his image. Dance routines, image, products. How many times had All Time Low had dance rehearsal? Joel could only think of one time. Whereas most of Joel’s rehearsals were a combination of singing/dancing/school/working on his image and what exactly he would wear and to what exactly. Should he or shouldn’t he cut his hair. Did this pair of shoes work with this outfit, and should he even wear it to that song? Could he dance in it? He felt like he had eighty different people pulling him in different directions at all time, but all he kept his focus on was Logan, putting out the best product he could. He didn’t care what he wore. He didn’t care what his dance moves were. Give him a guitar. Put him in front of a piano. Hand him drumsticks, do whatever the fuck you wanted. He had one goal, and that was to connect with every damn fan in his arena. Joel wrapped his arm around Rosie, leading her away from the backstage area and signed a few autographs with his left hand as security pushed him towards the waiting car. And in that moment he realized just exactly how much power he had, how far his fans had brought them, how far Taboo had brought him, his friends, his family. What he was giving wasn’t good enough. He could give more, he could give everything, he needed to give everything. How many kids had this thrust upon them? How long had it taken for him to realize how important he was? Joel slid into the car, releasing his hold onto Rosie and just leaned forward, placing his head between his knees as he wrapped his arms around his head. All of it was overwhelming, surreal. He’d been working so hard to get to this exact point that he hadn’t realized it had happened already. And now that it was here, he couldn’t celebrate it with the person who had meant everything to him. The tears bust from his eyes and he coughed as he tried to choke them back and felt himself start to rock in his seat. He took in a few deep breaths and sniffled a few times before he coughed deeply and sat back up, lifting his hat a few inches before he shook his hair to the side. He could still be a kid. He could still ride a segway into pools. Eat too much sugar. Be distracted. But he was going to give it everything he had. If people around him thought he was a hard worker before, they had no idea what was about to come. “ Sorry about that.. I can’t believe I sold out my first arena” he said, trying to downplay it as he wiped away the last remaining tears. “ Wow now that I’m done acting like a little bitch… what are you hungry for?” he asked, looking over at her as the driver waited to know where to take them before they headed back to his and Lance’s place.
Joel turned on the hot water and let it fall against his back. There wasn’t anything in the world that he wanted this career. He’d give up anything. He’d given up his private life, his dream for anything else, he’d given up any option for romance. He didn’t want one. Honestly. All he wanted was to get on stage, perform his music, and make every damn girl in that audience feel special for one night, like he was singing directly to them. He wanted to give them the experience. Joel licked his lips and brought his hair into the water, closing his eyes tightly as the steam in the shower started to build up. The journey here hadn’t been easy. His big push had been brought on by his brothers’ suicide, which still ate at him every damn day, every damn hour. His random acts of behavior? His overactive hyperness? That was usually just him trying to distract himself from the thoughts that haunted him. He could still remember every show he had done in Cape Town, where his roots had all started. He remembered when Madeline started bringing her best friend Rosie home. Everyone had taken her into their family with such open arms. Joel blatantly hit on her, even though she was like his sister. His hot, one hell of a body, just want to find out what her skin feels like sister.. Awkward. He had the greatest support system he could have ever hoped for, every body was on his side and there wasn’t a damn thing that was going to hold him back. Then he woke up one morning and David was gone. His number one fan, his number one motivator. Ripped from the world. Madeline was in the states. His parents had fallen apart. Music was on hold.. but not for long. It took about a month for Joel to get out of his depression, and just like that he was on his way to the states. On his way to move in with Madeline. On his way to use her connections to get his name known. It seemed like just yesterday he was jumping on Logan Renners’ desk. Life didn’t give hand outs. It wasn’t easy and you didn’t become successful without putting in footwork. He couldn’t save his brother. But here’s what he could do. He could give everything during dance rehearsals. He could sweat out everything he had. Lose his voice from trying to get the perfect recordings. Meet every fan that waited for him. Fall onto the floor because he felt like he was dying from doing everything in his power to give it his all. Literally. He would do all of it, to just connect with someone, anyone. To give them a connection, to feel like they were close to someone, to give them an experience that David never had with anyone.
Joel brought his head out of the water, shaking his hand over his hair as he recalled the first time someone recognized him. He was walking down the street and it seemed like the sweetest thing ever. ‘ Are you Joel Foster?’ the little girl had asked so shyly. She must’ve been about seven or eight, and that was the first time he had kneeled down and wrapped his arm around one of his fans, taken a picture with them , talked to them for a few minutes. After they had walked away he remembered looking at Ryan, just in awe of how amazing that was. Someone’s day was made because they met him? How insane was that. Then after awhile, a few more small shows, a few more interviews, he was on his way to Victoria Secret at the mall for an unveiling that Rosie and Madeline were doing. Yet again, Ryan was in tow. And that was the first time he had ever been mobbed. He’d never been so scared in his life, and it seemed like it happened all at once. He was just chilling there with his Orange Julius and talking with Ryan, when all of the sudden there was a single voice that yelled out his name and it was like there was a charge. He’d dropped his shake completely and had hauled ass, yelling for Logan out of being scared of where to go. Thankfully he had been able to run to the back of the mall and escape by Ryan bringing his old ass bronco. He’d climbed in through the window, not even taking time to open the door and when he had settled himself he was just screaming for Ryan to drive, looking down at the clawmarks against his arms.
Sometimes he wondered if he was giving up too much, if he shouldn’t limit himself from relationships. As far as the public was aware, he was with Dani and that was great. She was pretty much one of the most adorable damn things on the planet and they fed off of each other well. There were a lot of rumors going around that he was with Natalia and it had finally driven him insane. If there were going to be rumors about who he was with – he was going to control it. Thankfully, Dani obliged. But at the end of the day he knew his commitment to his work overpowered any level of commitment he could give to anyone else. But more than anything, he didn’t want to ever admit to anyone how tired he was. Logan wanted one more run during practice even though he felt like he was about to collapse? He’d give him five. There wasn’t a chance in hell he would let anyone see him as anything but the hyper, unfocused, immature kid on a segway that flirted with every pair of legs that passed his way. He’d rather be seen as that than for people to know how alone he felt most of the time. This wasn’t about him. It was so much more. Joel shut the water off and wrapped the towel around his waist before he dried off his body completely and put on a new pair of clothes, not caring that his hair was still wet. Just in the nick of time too because the girl he’d been waiting on was making her way through the door.
“ Hey baby” he said, making his way over to Rosie before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. “ First sold out show, how was it?” he asked, noting how raspy his voice was. He hadn’t talked to anyone after the show yet and he was surprised at how much he had worn it out with this performance. Logan was gonna be on his ass about that one. “ You’re lookin’ good, get all dolled up for me?” he asked with a grin, throwing her a wink before he took a step away from her and held his fist to his mouth and made an expression at how good Rosie looked. He’d seen her on stage once already. He’d made her come out and sit on a barstool as he serenaded her with ‘ One Less Lonely Girl’ and gave her a bouquet of roses. He did it every show, but this was such a big venue.. and Rosie was there.. who else was going to sit on that barstool? No one, it was for her. Joel picked up his baseball hat and pulled it on backwards over his wet hair. “ I figured we’d grab something to eat to go or something and head back to my place,” he said, coughing over his shoulder before he pulled his pants up at the side and headed out the door. Ryan would probably end up over, too. A lot of artists talked about who they were on stage was different than who they were in their private lives. Hell all you had to do was look at Ryan and know that was true. He was charismatic as fuck on stage, and then quiet as a mouse in private life. But Joel was sort of a what you see is what you get when it came to his personality. He never really felt like he could turn it off. But he sort of figured that was because the people he wanted to do this the most for, were his team. How many people could say that their team was their family? Logan, the label, the other artists he worked with? That was his family, that was what motivated him, it drove him to want to be so much more. Who cared if Shane and Ryan did different music than Joel did? Who cared if they wanted to make fun of him? Those were his brothers, which meant everything to him. There were few people in his life that weren’t involved in the music industry, and that was for a reason. You had to seriously understand it to understand Joel. He’d be there for you any second he could but you had to understand that the most important thing in his life was his music. Claire, Rosie, Jake.. they weren’t involved in music. But they sure as hell understood the lifestyle. Claire was with Shane, Rosie had been there the entire time Joel grew up she saw how much he gave it his all and what it meant to him, Jake was with Dani. It was strange at the studio, there were other artists that loved their music just as much as he loved his own. Ryan and Shane could probably live in their studios. Blake was dedicated to making her music touch everybody, Natalia had a great fanbase. But Joel felt like he was one of the few that worked on every facet of his image. Dance routines, image, products. How many times had All Time Low had dance rehearsal? Joel could only think of one time. Whereas most of Joel’s rehearsals were a combination of singing/dancing/school/working on his image and what exactly he would wear and to what exactly. Should he or shouldn’t he cut his hair. Did this pair of shoes work with this outfit, and should he even wear it to that song? Could he dance in it? He felt like he had eighty different people pulling him in different directions at all time, but all he kept his focus on was Logan, putting out the best product he could. He didn’t care what he wore. He didn’t care what his dance moves were. Give him a guitar. Put him in front of a piano. Hand him drumsticks, do whatever the fuck you wanted. He had one goal, and that was to connect with every damn fan in his arena. Joel wrapped his arm around Rosie, leading her away from the backstage area and signed a few autographs with his left hand as security pushed him towards the waiting car. And in that moment he realized just exactly how much power he had, how far his fans had brought them, how far Taboo had brought him, his friends, his family. What he was giving wasn’t good enough. He could give more, he could give everything, he needed to give everything. How many kids had this thrust upon them? How long had it taken for him to realize how important he was? Joel slid into the car, releasing his hold onto Rosie and just leaned forward, placing his head between his knees as he wrapped his arms around his head. All of it was overwhelming, surreal. He’d been working so hard to get to this exact point that he hadn’t realized it had happened already. And now that it was here, he couldn’t celebrate it with the person who had meant everything to him. The tears bust from his eyes and he coughed as he tried to choke them back and felt himself start to rock in his seat. He took in a few deep breaths and sniffled a few times before he coughed deeply and sat back up, lifting his hat a few inches before he shook his hair to the side. He could still be a kid. He could still ride a segway into pools. Eat too much sugar. Be distracted. But he was going to give it everything he had. If people around him thought he was a hard worker before, they had no idea what was about to come. “ Sorry about that.. I can’t believe I sold out my first arena” he said, trying to downplay it as he wiped away the last remaining tears. “ Wow now that I’m done acting like a little bitch… what are you hungry for?” he asked, looking over at her as the driver waited to know where to take them before they headed back to his and Lance’s place.
