Live From New York, It's Saturday Night Live

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel lethargically shifted his weight from side to side as he loosened up his shoulders and neck. His father and mother had talked to him about this. ‘Don’t become a puppet,’. ‘Once you stop loving it, stop doing it,’. But the fact of the matter was that this was all he knew. Performing, giving everything he had into projecting something that people would enjoy. And everyone had always said he was the same person off stage that he was on stage. But lately, these past couple months, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The stage was the only place he lit up, smiled, had fun anymore. It was when he wasn’t in front of his fans that he felt like he was a puppet, or a robot at least. Wake up, work out, do college studies, go to the studio, work, go home, get high just so he could sleep. Start all over again the next day.He licked his lips as he looked in the mirror. “ It’s going to be a great show tonight, kid” Justin said from the corner and Joel flickered a small smile in his direction before he cleared his throat and placed his hands in his front pockets. ‘ Thanks man,” he said, giving a small nod in his direction. Joel watched as Justin made his way out of the green room that NBC studios had set up for him tonight, well for rehearsals all week really, but it all came down to tonight. He remembered when Blake had hosted, how he had told Logan that he wanted this someday too. He’d just laughed and said more confidently than Joel himself felt that it would happen. After all, if Logan Renner wanted to make you somebody, he did. And he’d certainly made somebody of Joel. He’d made more out of Joel than he had made out of himself. Logan made an international music sensation, someone who donated millions of dollars to charity and connected to fans worldwide, who used his influence for greater good. What had Joel made of himself? Married, drugged, lonely, pathetic, a shell of what he thought he had the potential to be. “ Yo man you wanna get high?” he heard Jared asking from the corner, pulling Joel out of his thoughts as he looked over at him. Did he? Was that really the smartest thing to do before a performance? Joel might have thrown his personal life into turmoil time after time, but he had never jeopardized his career. “ Yeah,” he said. Fuck it. They were even poking fun in the show tonight about how he had been caught smoking pot. “ Here,” Jared said as Joel walked over, expecting to reach out for a blunt.

Instead Joel narrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at what Jared was doing. “ What the hell is that?” he questioned. But for no purpose, he knew what it was. The white powder broken into lines across the counter, Jared carefully lining them up with his credit card. “ Man that’s not my style,” Joel said, putting his hand up as he shook his head. “ I’m out of the green. This’ll just get you pumped up for the show, honest. Weed would just mellow you out. This’ll give you a boost. I wouldn’t steer you wrong man, I’m on your team… Here,” he said, leaning down as he pointedly showed Joel how to hold one of his nostrils shut and then took a deep breath in through his one nostril as he followed the line down the counter. Joel bounced on the back of his heels nervously, biting the inside of his lip as he tried to think of everything. That was when he heard someone in the corner started humming ‘As Long As You Love Me’. Instantly his mind when to Libby and his eyes went back to the white powder. “ Yeah,” he said as he stepped over to it. Weed was starting to not be able to get her off his mind. Maybe this would help. Joel licked his lips uncomfortably before he leaned down, pressing his finger shakily against the side of his nostril before he followed the line down the counter, coughing at the uncomfortable burn that entered his nostrils. It followed immediately by him taking what had to be dozens of sniffs in. “ You’ll get better at it, first line is the hardest” Jared said with a slight laugh before he leaned over and wiped the powder off of Joels’ nose. It still burned and Joel was fairly sure it was going to for the rest of the night. But when Justin opened the door, Jared jumped up onto the counter, sitting on what was remaining of the white powder. “ They’re ready for you little guy,” he said and Joel gave a small nod, grabbing one last drink of water from his bottle before he followed Justin out of the room. Down the long dark hallway, past producers, crew members, stars on the show, band members, band members of the show, dancers, up the stairs, taking turns. Once he was standing behind the infamous SNL door he took a moment to realize how quickly his heart was beating. But he hadn’t gotten nervous for a performance in months. He wasn’t nervous anymore; this is what he was good at. But now that he was paying attention, his heart was beating so hard that it felt like it was coming out of the side of his throat. He swallowed hard, bringing his hand up to his forehead. When did he start sweating? And it was cold. He lowered his hand to look at it, when he realized how badly he was shaking. Was this the coke? “ Guys I can’t do this,” he said frantically, trying to get someone’s attention. The door opened and he felt the hand of someone pushing him into the stage and onto the door. The light hit his eyes and he turned his face away from it as he stepped onto the stage. At least the sound of girls screaming and applause was familiar when everything else going on with his body felt so foreign.

The first half of the show was going perfectly. But now that it was time for his performance he was changing his mind. “ Yo yo yo, someone go grab Tyler from the audience,” he said, dismissing his dance members. “ We’re going acoustic,” he said. “ Renner change the set list man?” Justin asked curiously. “ No no no.. we’re good.We’re good. We’re uh.. I gotta get this acoustic shit.. “ Joel said, “ Um.. As Long As You Love Me. Acoustic. I need Tyler. Somebody go get Tyler,” he said as he looked over at one of the entourage, looking at them pointedly until they went to go get Tyler. “ Man you’re doing awesome,” Justin said as he leaned in to hug him. Joel pat his hand against his back. “ Yo anybody seen O’Neil?” he asked distractedly, not paying attention to how tightly Justin had taken to holding him. “ Joel..” he said before leaning away. ‘ Why does it feel like you’re sweating ice?” he asked until he grabbed Joel by the sides of his face and tilted his head up. “ Great. Your pupils look great, too” Joel made a slight face, about to say something until he felt Justin’s fingers holding the side of his neck while he looked down at his watch. “ You have a pulse of 86 Joel… 86.. What the fuck did you do?” Joel made a face as he watched Justin. Who the fuck was this guy, “ What the fuc-“ he started off before he felt the hard slap against his face. “ WHAT did you take? Don’t fucking lie to me Joel, who gave it to you?” Joel held his hand on his cheek. He’d never seen Justin this pissed off. “ Did you just slap me like a little bitch?” he asked slightly pissed off, slightly amused and slightly confused as to what the hell was going on with Justin. “ Jared had some shit,” he stated before Justin let go of him. “ Jared,” he restated before he moved across the room. Joel took the jacket off from his sketch, keeping his eyes on Justin. That guy never got worked up, but as he moved across the room, he grabbed Jared by the fabric of his shirt and landed a solid punch against his face. “ WHAT THE FUCK” Joel yelled out as hair and make up worked on his hair, putting the microphone piece over him. But Justin seemed unconcerned with what was going on, grabbing a walking from the back clip of his jeans before he brought it to his lips, “ Somebody get Renner backstage,” he said before standing up straight, yelling some shit to Jared about how he wasn’t going to find another job in the state of New York or some shit.

“ Go, go, go , go” one of the stage techs was saying to Joel as they pushed him back onto the stage. So much pushing and shoving. What the fuck had he just seen? Joel licked his lips as he made his way over to the stool, giving a head nod over to Tyler sitting on a stool with a guitar. “ Thanks man,” he said before giving him a fist bump and sat against his own stool. Joel brought his hands to his knees, rubbing the cold sweat against the fabric of his pants before he looked back into the light. Another performance that he could get through; didn’t matter what state of high he was in. At least Tyler was up here with him this time though. And he knew he would come out for a second performance, too. Well whatever the fuck Logan wanted to say to him, it wasn’t like he was going to pull him out of show halfway through, so he wasn’t surprised when Renner wasn’t in the back when he got back there. But neither were Justin and Jared. They were probably all three together. Which really pissed Joel off, because he wanted answers. After the show was entirely over and he gave his last musical performance, Joel leaned over and gave Tyler a loose hug before heading to the back. He hadn’t even noticed that blood was dripping down his nose, the irritation of the coke and his persistent sniffing finally giving way. He looked at Logan and Justin who were both standing there, Jared no where in sight. He made no movement to wipe his nose clean. ‘ Let me guess, you’re not my fucking ‘ swag coach’, Joel said without any expression as he looked at Justin. “ Not entirely,” Justin said , clenching his jaws as he looked down at Joel. “ You gave me a FUCKING baby sitter?” he yelled out in Logan’s direction. “ I sell out fucking world tours for you. I’ve given you more money than you’ll need, not that you needed my help. I show up at work. I do my fucking job. I do the college work. I do the tours, and the radio interviews, and the photo shoots. I put in the hours at the god damn studio. I’m a fucking married man and you gave me a god damn babysitter?!” he yelled out, realizing that he was screaming out at the top of his lungs, which would have been embarrassing but it looked like everyone had cleared out – probably as a result of Justin and Logan directing them to do so.

[Logan Chase Renner]

Logan sat beside Blake, able to enjoy the show for once. SNL was running things and Joel had been doing great. Not like it was surprising, Joel was talented if not hilarious in his own right. Plus Justin was running around backstage, so if there were any problems, Logan trusted that Joel would go to him. It was rare that Logan could sit back and enjoy something without feeling some sort of pull to go work or help with something, so now as he reached for Blake's hand and gave it a squeeze, he felt everything was going perfectly. The it seemed it was time for Joel's performance which Joel had discussed with Logan which songs he wanted to do. What Logan wasn't expecting was for Joel to come out alone except for Tyler, who Logan hadn't even noticed had left his seat. "What the hell..." Logan muttered, sitting forward in his seat. Okay, so Joel wanted to change the songs. Alright. He could have mentioned this to Logan, but it wasn't the end of the world. It was probably a last minute decision, not even enough time to tell Logan. Logan let out a breath, telling himself it wasn't a big deal, Joel could make his own decisions regarding his performances, it was his career anyways. So why then, Logan wondered as he kept his eyes on Joel, was Joel sweating so much? Something was just wrong, he could feel it. Logan let go of Blake's hand, sitting on the edge of his seat and murmured quietly to her without taking his eyes off of Joel, "Something isn't right with him, do you think?" Not to mentioned the second song which Logan himself had only heard fragments of. He knew Joel liked them to be just right before he showed them to Logan, but to perform it on SNL? Logan didn't get what he was doing here, what was he trying to do by playing this song?

If wasn't long after he started this new song that Logan looked pointedly at Blake, "Alright tell me I'm not being paranoid, tell me I'm not the only one thinking something is wrong with him." Blake knew Logan's history with Lance, she knew how paranoid it made him, and worried, and often times scared just remembering how things had been. Logan saw a crew person motioning to him and leaned down to whisper in Logan's ear, he was needed back stage, immediately. The man's urgency only verified his worries that something wasn't right. He felt like Miss Clavell in that cartoon his nieces watched, the one with the little french girl. Logan leaned down to kiss Blake and told her he had to go, heading backstage. On his way he told the man to go get Ryan O'Neil, right now, and was immediately brought to Justin who looked positively furious. "What's going on?" Logan asked hurriedly. Maybe is was his personal denial that it was what he thought it was that kept him from asking what Joel 'did', but Logan for some reason had faith in this kid that he wouldn't do that to himself. Logan had seen it with his own eyes plenty of times to know how it destroyed a person.

Unfortunately, what he was told wasn't obviously what he had wanted to hear, but upon hearing the word 'cocaine' Logan felt the familiar feeling he knew all too well. It was the unmistakable fear that always seemed to wash over him, disallowing him to be angry for a moment, only feeling that sinking in his stomach. Like every time Logan had found Lance passed out, drugged up, unable to function and left Logan to carrying him some place safe, spending hours in the hospital, waiting. Worrying. Wondering if there was something he should have done to stop him, help him, anything. Something that he missed from his duties as a brother, and now as a friend. Maybe from someone watching it would appear that Logan was a concerned label owner, worrying about his artist's career and how he was going to fix this, or how the PR team was going to spin this. But Logan just felt like a scared older brother again, trying to understand where he did Joel wrong. Was there something he was supposed to have done different? Did he push Joel too hard? How did Logan not recognize that something had been bothering Joel so bad he thought doing coke was a good idea? Maybe it was nothing, maybe Joel was just being a dumb kid, maybe nothing had caused him to do it. But Logan knew him too well, and he'd be an idiot hindsight not to admit Joel had been emotionally spent lately.

Logan didn't ask many questions, from what Justin told him, he understood. Unlike Justin, and Logan, and others on Joel's team, there had been someone who didn't care about Joel's well being as much as the rest of them. Joel would never go to such drastic means unless there was something seriously wrong, he took his career too seriously. Joel had joined them, blood dripping from his nose, yelling at Logan about how much he did for him, the tours, the money and Logan stopped him, yelling back, "For me? You do all that for me? Wake UP Joel, you don't do that for me, you do that for you! We're all here because of you, for you, every fucking person here is here to help YOU get to where you want to be! Don't even go that route saying that Justin was your babysitter, Justin has gone to the moon and back for you, because I asked him to. I asked him to be someone on tour you could trust when the people that care about you couldn't be with you. I asked him to look out for you and make sure that people that that guy don't waltz in and ruin things, all the things you've been working your ass off for, because that guy? He doesn't give a shit about you Joel! You're just a one way ticket for his career, but us?" he motioned to himself and Justin, "WE care. Joel, I want nothing more than for you to achieve every fucking thing you've ever wanted to do, because you fucking deserve to. Justin was never your babysitter, he was someone to rely on, because you need that! You need people around you that care about JOEL, not Joel Foster." Logan shook grabbed his shoulders, shaking him gently, his tone softening, "Joel what were you thinking? Cocaine? Where was your brain today? Don't try to tell me it was just experimenting or something, I don't buy it. Tell me what is going on with you, what is going on in your head that is stressing you out, this is not you." At that point Ryan had joined the party and was standing beside Joel, hearing the end of the conversation about cocaine and whatever else was on Joel's mind. "Joel, you can talk to us, we all care about you, come on. Don't go down that road, with drugs, all that. Do you need a break, some time off, do you just need to talk to someone, what?" He felt like he was practically begging him, desperate to help Joel if he could. Logan stopped talking. He really couldn't stress enough how much drugs had effected him, worrying that Joel would go down that road, end up like Lance. Watching Lance spiral out of control was painful enough, picking him up and putting Lance on his feet had been and was lately, one of the hardest things Logan had had to do. He prayed Joel wouldn't end up like that.

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel lifted his eyebrows in what probably seemed like genuine amusement as Logan said that they were all there to help him get him where he wanted to be. “ You fucking kidding me?!” he screamed out at the top of his lungs. “ You think you give a shit about Joel? The guys inside Joel Foster? I see your god damn face every time I win an award, or bring in the numbers. You sit there so high on your god damn pedestal. You think you’d give a shit about me if I brought in a tenth of what I did? You think if my profit was where Claire’s starting out at that you would even look twice at me? The awards, the hard work, the performances that I give my heart and sweat too? THOSE are the fucking reasons you’re here. So you can have the god damn perfect life that you’ve created for yourself with the successful label and famous wife. Congratulations Renner, you made yourself a successful little bitch boy. I came to you because you are the best. I came to you because you were the person I wanted to mentor me through my career. But let’s not pretend that the moment I stop being the hottest ticket you won’t cast me away into the shadows of Taboo,” he said before bringing his finger up to smear the blood away from his nose across his lip and cheek. “ Yeah I fucking did cocaine,” he said as he shoved his hands against Logan’s chest to push him away. “ I also sold out Madison Square Garden in twelve seconds. Every album I’ve put out for you has hit number one. I’m a man of my word and you can’t FUCKING say once that I’ve ever lied to you - and you want to point out that I did cocaine?... ONCE?!” Joel shook his head, bringing his hands to the back of his head as he looked over at Ryan who had come in, Madeline standing nervously at the corner. “ That’s fucking great. Bring in the Foster pity party,” he said, putting his arms out to the side as he looked at the collection of people who had joined them ; Blake standing behind Logan with her hand on his lower back, Dani and Jake who were watching him intently, Libby and Bentley who Bentley was standing with his arm in front of Libby almost protectively. “ Everyone take a fucking look. Joel Foster cracked under the pressure,” he said as he spun slowly in a circle to get a look at everyone there.

“ You all know who Joel Foster is…” he said with a slight smirk, licking the corner of his lips and he brought his hand to wipe at the blood again. “ Fucking little South African prick who is a seventeen year old workaholic, with issues regarding his brother and has the world at his feet..” he said. Though he kept his eyes locked on Ryan and Logan as he moved his arm, gesturing to Libby without looking at her. ‘ But the only fucking thing in the world that I want for myself, I can’t have.” he said while shaking his head. “ Tale as old as time, right? Spoiled little prince, enough is never enough? I promised myself to a woman because I felt I owed it to her. And now I’ll be able to give her everything in the world but my heart. Someone else has that. … And I can’t even make her fucking happy,” he said as though it baffled him. “ Be a good brother. You’re the only one that Madeline’s got left. Be a good artist, you can do it. We all know you can. Don’t disappoint people, you’re capable of anything you set your mind to. Always stand by your word. Work hard, you’re young. Have fun – not too much. Be faithful to your wife.. love her. I did everything… I did everything I was supposed to. I’ve been a good brother. I’ve worked my ass off… I can’t…. I can’t love her when I’m in love with someone else. “ he said before he dropped his shoulders. “ I don’t know what you want me to be anymore..” he said as he looked around at all of them. “ Take a break? From what? What can I take a break from? I can’t. Joel Foster is the same person on stage as he is off of it. If I wasn’t obsessing over my career, it’d be something else. I can’t take a break from this. I can’t take a break from the fact that I have to watch my own sister turn her face every time I bring up my brother. I can’t take a break from the fact that my brother Ryan.. has so much shit going on in his own life that he doesn’t know how to process it himself because he’s too busy taking care of the Fosters. I can’t take a break from the fact that millions of people are depending on me,” he said before licking his lips and make a pained face at Logan. “ What the hell am I supposed to take a break from? Being on stage? Performing? The ONE thing that makes me feel like I’m doing something right?”

[Victoria Jean Taylor]

Tori told Kayla she would come back, but she wanted to go see what was going on and see if everything was okay with Joel. He seemed a little off and judging by the way half of Taboo had gone back stage in a hurry, she thought something must be wrong. As Tori made her way backstage she thought about how no one had bothered to ask if she wanted to go check on him, or if she wanted to join them. Though she wasn't surprised, as much in his world as she was, she never really felt part of his world. And she was his wife, if he was having problems shouldn't she be there for him? Other couples were so glued to each other, depending on each other, she didn't feel like she and Joel had that. Maybe they would in time. Tori wasn't sure exactly where everyone was, but she knew where the rest of the SNL crew was avoiding, so it wasn't that hard to figure it out. As she stepped in quietly, she wasn't prepared for what was going on. Joel hadn't even saw her. She knew this because she knew if he had, she would never have heard him say the words that had come out of his mouth. So was that it then? Their relationship, engagement, marriage, whatever they were calling it this week, it meant nothing? That was it. He was in love with someone else, but he felt he owed Tori something. Why, because she had sat at the hospital with him, because SHE had felt guilty about herself being the reason he was in a coma anyways? That was just great, their entire relationship was built off of both of them feeling like they owed the other. And now she was just his wife, the one who had trapped him, kept him from the one he really loved because Joel was too decent to break up with Tori. And, as she stood there she looked over at Bentley who was hovering over Libby, the two people who knew Joel so well, had known him the longest. Tori felt her face growing red with embarrassment and anger, looking at Libby. How could she have been so stupid? Of course Tori never stood a chance. Libby was gorgeous, close to Joel, grew up with him. Everyone always made comments about their chemistry in that damn music video, well now it fucking made sense. Tori thought she was going to be sick, trying to slip out of the room, hot tears welling up in her eyes. No wonder no one had thought to invite her to the pow wow, she'd never be part of it anyways. She just felt foolish, like an idiot. She was someone's charity. Tori wiped at her eyes as she walked as far away from that room as possible, throwing up her hands in anger when she heard someone call her name. She knew who it was, she didn't have to turn around to know.

[Liberty J Madison]

Libby wasn't sure what was going on but she knew it was bad given that everyone had accumulated backstage with Joel. All she knew was she cared about Joel... that was pretty much it. She knew somewhere in herself he could date someone else, propose to someone else, marry someone else, promise himself to someone else, but she would always be promised to him. Always. She knew Dani had told her she should try dating other people, meeting new guys at college but... she couldn't even take other guys seriously. She just loved Joel. Maybe stupidly, but she absolutely did. He was everything. He was who she wanted to say good morning too, say goodnight to, call when she was excited, sad, anything. When she just wanted to lay with someone it was Joel she wanted. She couldn't explain how it had happened. They had been such good friends growing up, with their sisters being best friends, she knew Joel so well. She knew him before he became this celebrity that he was, back when he was just another kid trying to have fun when he was still a kid. Libby knew he was still there. That was all she saw. All she could see was the fun, loving, passionate boy that took hand in teaching her how to skateboard, picking her up every time she fell, trying to help Bentley teach her to surf. She still saw the boy that always beat her at wings eating contests no matter how many times she challenged him. Even if it was only because she knew he loved them. He was there, under all the shows and interviews, beneath the supras and the designer clothes, Joel was there. And she loved all of it. She loved him when he was performing, she loved him when he was being amazing to his fans, she loved when he was at home with her and Bentley and just letting his hair down. She just loved all of him. And she knew she was one of the only people that knew all of him. She may not have been the only person to have him, but no one knew him the way she did. No other woman would. They didn't know him before. They didn't see how he was the same boy. The same Joel, trying so hard to make something of himself. He wanted to be remembered SO badly. He just didn't realize he had reached that and then some.

Libby followed Bentley to where Joel was, her heart dropping upon realizing the situation. If it weren't for Bentley standing protectively in front of her, she didn't know what would have kept her from Joel. Just the whole thing, his frustration, the pressure he put on himself, the fact that they couldn't be together because of the promise he made Tori, the fact that he'd just apparently told everyone in the room about himself and Libby, and how he felt he needed drastic measures like cocaine to cope. Libby felt her heart aching for him, all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him. At some point she knew Tori had come in but Libby was vaguely aware of the fact that Tori had slipped out.. Libby felt angry, but she couldn't explain it. So Tori could walk in and take the title as Joel's wife but she as allowed to walk away? Libby felt the anger of months on end built up bubbling up inside herself, not even thinking much as she too slipped out of the room after Tori. She didn't care who saw her, at this point she was just tired. Tired of hiding her feelings, and of pretending she didn't feel a certain way, and she was tired of letting some other girl love Joel when Libby knew there was no way this girl loved Joel the way that Libby did. Joel deserved something specific, there was no way Tori could give that to him.

Libby followed Tori into the hallway, trailing after her, "Tori!" though Libby knew she sounded more pissed than comforting. Tori threw her arms up in defeat as if she kept walking, but Libby grabbed her arm, stopping her, "Where the hell do you think you're going?" Libby asked angrily, her face flush and Tori spun around to face her and answered, "Where does it look like I'm going? Joel doesn't want me. Where else am I supposed to go?" Libby shook her head, sure that Tori could see flames burning behind her eyes, "So that's it then, you're just going to disregard everything he's asked of you?" "Are you kidding me?" Tori asked, staring Libby down, "Don't you think I've been made a fool enough of already? Joel doesn't WANT me, and you should know! All this time he's been what, in love with you?" Libby could see the hot tears rolling down Tori's cheeks, but she kept her composure otherwise, "He has made a fool of me, an idiot! Our marriage is a joke! And I thought you were someone that knew him best, someone I could trust, but clearly I was wrong. So what was it, has he cheated on me, have you two hooked up, is he just with you on the side, behind the cameras?" Tori asked desperately, Libby shaking her head, "How can you say that? Joel has been nothing but faithful to you. He has never once cheated on you, you of all people should know he would never do that." "Well he may as well have, don't you think emotional cheating is the same damn thing?" Libby took a breath, her face hot with anger, "I don't really give two shits to be honest with you. All I know is I've been miserable because of you. Because Joel is too goddam decent of a person to break a promise he made for you. I have sat back and waited for him, and I would wait for however long it took because I love him. And you, you for some reason got the title as his wife and what do you do with it? Walk out on him? He needs you right now. And you are walking away." Libby stepped closer, about ready to rip this girl a new one, "Well guess what, just as long as you are in my way of having him, you are going treat him how he deserves. If being a wife means til death do you part then you will do just that. You will NOT walk away from him, and if you do you better be prepared to lose everything. I will not stand by and watch him self destruct. And if you can't fulfill your promise to him, we're gonna have a problem. You have two choices here. Walk away, fine. That's your decision. Or you can keep your promise too, which he has done unconditionally, and stand by him when he needs you. Because that's what a wife does." Libby stepped closer to Tori,lowering her voice and said calmly, though so sure of her self she was, "I don't think it takes a genius to know I would give anything to be in your shoes. Just so you know, if you aren't going to love him right, someone else will. Do the right thing." Libby didn't know how long the pair of them stared at each other, as if measuring each other up, but Libby knew she wasn't going to back down. This girl was either going to support Joel the way she told him she was going to, or she was gong to leave. And that meant to Libby that all was fair in love in war.

Tori seemed to have made a decision, because she wiped her tears off her face, squared her shoulders and headed back in the direction of the room. Libby wasn't satisfied, but it pissed her off less that Tori had decided not to be an immature child about it. Joel didn't need a child, he needed someone to stand by him no matter what. Tori had signed up for that, therefore, Joel wouldn't Let Libby take that role, no matter how much she knew she could fill it. However, as they approached the room, Tyler came out, looking kind of off but grabbed Tori before she could get there, telling her, "Hey, look I know you want to be there for Joel right now, but I don' think he really wants you to see him like this. He just needs some time..." Tyler trailed off, taking Tori and leading her away, protecting her from the man she would never be able to care for anyways. Well that was just whatever. Because as Tori walked away it just proved to Libby that Tori would never be what Joel needed. He needed someone unconditionally on his side, no matter what.

Libby peeked her head in the room, but what she saw startled her. Joel was on the floor, seemingly tackled by Jake, and a knife lay askew a few feet away. Libby looked to Bentley, sure he wouldn't lie to her. What was going on? The same anxious feeling welled up inside her, half wanting to protect Joel, half scared of what damage had already been done, not knowing how much help she would actually ever be. She felt sick. All she wanted to do was wrap Joel in her arms and tell him the same thing he had told her,everything would be alright. Even though he had said it first, she didn't think it would be much help to him. Libby looked to Bentley desperately, feeling completely helpless. She didn't feel there was anything she could do for Joel except love him, and even that didn't feel like it was enough.