Post by Mikayla Laurel Garrity on Jul 31, 2013 17:12:26 GMT -5
Kayla tried to catch her breath as she entered her apartment, stepping to the side so that Dani could come in behind her. “ You’re getting better,” she said, tossing her apartment keys onto the entryway table. “ Chace has been kicking my ass.. He literally came up to me and kicked it the other day. Dating him must be…. Hell. I don’t know how you did it. Or how Tori does. She must have a penchant for difficult to date men. Joel. Chace… I just… I need a nap,” Dani said as she laid herself down on the couch. “ Chace isn’t so bad,” Kayla said as she reached her hand up to redo her ponytail and made her way into the kitchen. After taking out two bottles of water she came back, offering one to Dani. “ Is he busting your ass because of the two performances coming up? …Teen Choice and MTV VMA’s…right?” Kayla questioned, unsure of whether the second show was correct or not. “ Probably..Yes.” Dani said, finally sitting up and opening her water bottle. “ Are you nervous?” Kayla asked as she looked over at her. “ Were you nervous the first time you tried something new and Tyler was there.. like your Moulin Rouge show?” Dani asked with a slight scoff. “ Actually, no…. He was my number one supporter. I knew he would be proud of anything I did,” Kayla said with a shrug. If she couldn’t fail in front of Tyler, who could she fail in front of? Besides he always pushed her to try and do better anyways. “ He IS your biggest supporter, and he’s proud of anything you DO,” Dani corrected her, causing Kayla to roll her eyes. ” Why are you so protective of Tyler?” she asked as she sat back. “ I actually like him more than you. I’m just trying to make sure you don’t go do something stupid, and permanently break his precious little heart,” Dani said flatly as she picked up a Cosmo magazine on the table. “ You like Tyler more than me?” Kayla asked with a slightly hurt expression. “ Yeah… I think most people do,” Dani said as she flipped a page. “ Anyways.. how are you guys? Are you going with him to the award shows?” Dani asked, looking up from the magazine to get a look at her.
“ I guess I hadn’t thought about it yet,” Kayla said, making a slight face. ” Did he ask you?” Kayla narrowed her eyebrows trying to remember. “ Not that I can recall.. but maybe he did and I just don’t remember,” she said as she picked up the remote to turn on the television. “ Well you’ll need to pick out a couple of dresses just incase, don’t you think?” Dani said, at this point dropping the Cosmo magazine onto her lap. “ I mean I’m sure I’ll pick something out. No big deal.” Kayla said, finding Taboo on the tv and setting the remote down. “ No big deal?” Dani questioned with an insulted face. “… Yeah it’s no big deal. I can just find something the day before or something.” Kayla said, looking at Dani with a slightly confused face. “ … This is important to Tyler. I mean, he might not even realize it is. But it is. He performs. He makes music videos for Taboo. This type of entertainment is what he excels at. It’s what he is really good at. It’s something he can be proud of. And if you don’t strap your tiny ass into a pretty dress to stand by his side and show him how proud of him you are for all of his hard work, I will smack you so hard even Jesus won’t be able to save you,” Dani said before picking back up her magazine and staring down at it. “ Do you even love him anymore?”[/i[ Dani asked accusingly. Kayla frowned as she stood up from the couch. “ More than anything,” she said with a slight glare. “ Really? Cause everyone can tell he loves you more than anything. He’s like a puppy. That has all this love and doesn’t even know what to do with all of it. You just seem cold,” Dani said. “ Like you should really talk. When’s the last time you kissed Jake? At least Tyler and I are together,”. Kayla snapped at her while getting some grapes from the fridge. “ Hey Jake and I are together. Neither of us is questioning or future. It’s more of a… when do we get back to it. Which is Sunday. You have poor Tyler on a teeter totter of emotions. That is one teet that should not tot. Relationships have ups and downs. The love should not,” Dani said as she stole some of the grapes from Kayla. “ Tyler is never going to do things at your pace. But that doesn’t mean you should pull the emergency brakes and go at the slowest pace imagineable. I understand you don’t want to get hurt. That’s part of the risk.” Dani offered before shoving grapes in her mouth. “ It isn’t a risk anymore once he’s already hurt me. I thought he loved me so much that he would be sure of anything we did together. And he was skeptical. And now I just feel… kind of lost. I don’t know. Like none of it was real or something. I know it was..is. It’s just difficult for me to try and pick up in the same spot when I feel like he only wants to be with me because he’s scared of what’s out there on his own. I’m all he really knows,” Kayla said, letting Dani pretty much take over the rest of her grapes. “ But he has dated other girls in the past. He doesn’t want to anymore.” Kayla gave a small nod. “ I do sort of feel like I’m taken for granted. And he probably feels that way, too. I just think he always expected me to always be there. No matter what. So he could do things his own way and I would just adjust. But we’re getting older. We aren’t six year olds that both want to swim and play all day. I want to make plans and a future. I need to start sort of getting serious about life. And it’s… if I can’t get serious with him,. About the big plans, then it’s just not worth getting serious about anything at all.” Dani chewed on her grapes quietly, thinking it over. “ Are you just waiting for a break up?” Dani questioned before looking in her direction. Kayla sat quietly, biting the inside of her lip before she shook her head. ”No, she offered quietly. “ I just kind of feel broken. And like I’m not the same girl anymore. So what if that means we won’t be the same Tyler and Kayla if I don’t feel whole inside anymore. I don’t want to go back to planning things..and…pretending that I’ve never been hurt by this. And I know he has too. Because it has effected me, and the way I think he feels about me. ,” Dani ran her hand over her face. “ Okay.. so. You are absolutely in love with him. Do you think he loves you?...Not just as a friend, but ..romantically, I want to spend my life with you as my partner, not just my friend.. kind of love?” Dani questioned. “ No,” Kayla said quietly before gnawing at the inside of her lip again. “ But you can’t leave him?” Kayla shook her head this time, “ No. I can’t” she offered before clearing her throat. “ Let’s have some ice cream,” she said, stepping over the back of the couch as she went into the kitchen to get the ice cream and two spoons. “ Well I know he loves you.. in that way.” Dani said as Kayla sat back on the couch. “ He’s really trying you know…” Dani said, taking the spoon from Kayla. “ Then I guess time will tell,” Kayla offered with a small shrug. “ You can’t take him out of your plans, Mikayla” Dani said this time, a bit more urgently. “ I’m not. I’m just taking it more..cautiously,”. Dani shook her head, obviously frustrated. “ You two can’t take things cautiously. You already know you love each other. You’re just being difficult because for the first time he wasn’t waiting there when you turned around for what you wanted. You feel like you are taken for granted. I get that. But there is no other stopping point in a relationship for you two that doesn’t involve ‘being serious’. You will always be serious.” Dani offered. Kayla nodded as she ate some of her ice cream. “ But things like moving in.. getting married. Vacations.. that’s not stuff we need to plan right now, or look at. If they were things we should be looking at, it would be easier. Obviously we aren’t ready because it’s been rocky as hell. So no, we shouldn’t live together. If we shouldn’t live together, I shouldn’t be looking at bridal magazines. So yeah.. I love him. But it’s also… maybe it’s more realistic now. I used to think we were never capable of hurting each other. Now I know we are. Worse than anyone. That’s scarier to me than anything in the world,” Kayla said before offering an apathetic shrug of her shoulders. It sort of frustrated her that because she was backing off Tyler that meant people assumed she still wasn’t as madly in love with him as she was before. She just felt like she had dealt with the first grown up thing to impact their relationship, and it effected them both. They weren’t the teenage kids who could skateboard down the street and crawl into one anothers windows anymore. And the harsh reality that she didn’t know how to define them anymore scared her.
“ I guess I hadn’t thought about it yet,” Kayla said, making a slight face. ” Did he ask you?” Kayla narrowed her eyebrows trying to remember. “ Not that I can recall.. but maybe he did and I just don’t remember,” she said as she picked up the remote to turn on the television. “ Well you’ll need to pick out a couple of dresses just incase, don’t you think?” Dani said, at this point dropping the Cosmo magazine onto her lap. “ I mean I’m sure I’ll pick something out. No big deal.” Kayla said, finding Taboo on the tv and setting the remote down. “ No big deal?” Dani questioned with an insulted face. “… Yeah it’s no big deal. I can just find something the day before or something.” Kayla said, looking at Dani with a slightly confused face. “ … This is important to Tyler. I mean, he might not even realize it is. But it is. He performs. He makes music videos for Taboo. This type of entertainment is what he excels at. It’s what he is really good at. It’s something he can be proud of. And if you don’t strap your tiny ass into a pretty dress to stand by his side and show him how proud of him you are for all of his hard work, I will smack you so hard even Jesus won’t be able to save you,” Dani said before picking back up her magazine and staring down at it. “ Do you even love him anymore?”[/i[ Dani asked accusingly. Kayla frowned as she stood up from the couch. “ More than anything,” she said with a slight glare. “ Really? Cause everyone can tell he loves you more than anything. He’s like a puppy. That has all this love and doesn’t even know what to do with all of it. You just seem cold,” Dani said. “ Like you should really talk. When’s the last time you kissed Jake? At least Tyler and I are together,”. Kayla snapped at her while getting some grapes from the fridge. “ Hey Jake and I are together. Neither of us is questioning or future. It’s more of a… when do we get back to it. Which is Sunday. You have poor Tyler on a teeter totter of emotions. That is one teet that should not tot. Relationships have ups and downs. The love should not,” Dani said as she stole some of the grapes from Kayla. “ Tyler is never going to do things at your pace. But that doesn’t mean you should pull the emergency brakes and go at the slowest pace imagineable. I understand you don’t want to get hurt. That’s part of the risk.” Dani offered before shoving grapes in her mouth. “ It isn’t a risk anymore once he’s already hurt me. I thought he loved me so much that he would be sure of anything we did together. And he was skeptical. And now I just feel… kind of lost. I don’t know. Like none of it was real or something. I know it was..is. It’s just difficult for me to try and pick up in the same spot when I feel like he only wants to be with me because he’s scared of what’s out there on his own. I’m all he really knows,” Kayla said, letting Dani pretty much take over the rest of her grapes. “ But he has dated other girls in the past. He doesn’t want to anymore.” Kayla gave a small nod. “ I do sort of feel like I’m taken for granted. And he probably feels that way, too. I just think he always expected me to always be there. No matter what. So he could do things his own way and I would just adjust. But we’re getting older. We aren’t six year olds that both want to swim and play all day. I want to make plans and a future. I need to start sort of getting serious about life. And it’s… if I can’t get serious with him,. About the big plans, then it’s just not worth getting serious about anything at all.” Dani chewed on her grapes quietly, thinking it over. “ Are you just waiting for a break up?” Dani questioned before looking in her direction. Kayla sat quietly, biting the inside of her lip before she shook her head. ”No, she offered quietly. “ I just kind of feel broken. And like I’m not the same girl anymore. So what if that means we won’t be the same Tyler and Kayla if I don’t feel whole inside anymore. I don’t want to go back to planning things..and…pretending that I’ve never been hurt by this. And I know he has too. Because it has effected me, and the way I think he feels about me. ,” Dani ran her hand over her face. “ Okay.. so. You are absolutely in love with him. Do you think he loves you?...Not just as a friend, but ..romantically, I want to spend my life with you as my partner, not just my friend.. kind of love?” Dani questioned. “ No,” Kayla said quietly before gnawing at the inside of her lip again. “ But you can’t leave him?” Kayla shook her head this time, “ No. I can’t” she offered before clearing her throat. “ Let’s have some ice cream,” she said, stepping over the back of the couch as she went into the kitchen to get the ice cream and two spoons. “ Well I know he loves you.. in that way.” Dani said as Kayla sat back on the couch. “ He’s really trying you know…” Dani said, taking the spoon from Kayla. “ Then I guess time will tell,” Kayla offered with a small shrug. “ You can’t take him out of your plans, Mikayla” Dani said this time, a bit more urgently. “ I’m not. I’m just taking it more..cautiously,”. Dani shook her head, obviously frustrated. “ You two can’t take things cautiously. You already know you love each other. You’re just being difficult because for the first time he wasn’t waiting there when you turned around for what you wanted. You feel like you are taken for granted. I get that. But there is no other stopping point in a relationship for you two that doesn’t involve ‘being serious’. You will always be serious.” Dani offered. Kayla nodded as she ate some of her ice cream. “ But things like moving in.. getting married. Vacations.. that’s not stuff we need to plan right now, or look at. If they were things we should be looking at, it would be easier. Obviously we aren’t ready because it’s been rocky as hell. So no, we shouldn’t live together. If we shouldn’t live together, I shouldn’t be looking at bridal magazines. So yeah.. I love him. But it’s also… maybe it’s more realistic now. I used to think we were never capable of hurting each other. Now I know we are. Worse than anyone. That’s scarier to me than anything in the world,” Kayla said before offering an apathetic shrug of her shoulders. It sort of frustrated her that because she was backing off Tyler that meant people assumed she still wasn’t as madly in love with him as she was before. She just felt like she had dealt with the first grown up thing to impact their relationship, and it effected them both. They weren’t the teenage kids who could skateboard down the street and crawl into one anothers windows anymore. And the harsh reality that she didn’t know how to define them anymore scared her.
