Post by Dani Marie Cooper on Feb 16, 2014 22:59:49 GMT -5
Dani continued to toss the apple between her hands as she paced in the hallway. Individual therapy sessions were starting soon and at this point she was getting anxious to get home, to get back to Jake and her lifestyle. It was a painful decision to cancel a few weeks of her tour considering how much she had wanted to change her image and put out this album, finally go on tour. Now she had so much going on in her head that apparently people thought she was a walking timebomb, and here she was. Rehab. Not for addiction, not for any type of obsessive or delusional behavior; simply for the fact that she had experienced a trauma in her childhood and was having a difficulty overcoming it. But was she? She felt she was over what had happened. Her father’s death had actually calmed a lot of her fears that were in the present day. But did it mean that it relinquished her from the betrayal she felt as a scared little girl? Jake had given her a peaceful future but would she ever be able to put her past at rest? “ Danielle,” the voice called softly from down the hall. Dani turned around and looked down the hallway, keeping her hands down at her sides as she took in a few deep breaths. The worst part about talking about your monsters, was discovering which ones had been hiding the best all along. Dani moved her hair to one shoulder, making her way towards the brightly lit room full of the aroma of the lilacs throughout. She smiled as she approached the inviting large charge opposite of the therapist. No laying down here. “ Good morning,” Dani said politely, moving to her seat. “ Good morning to you as well, Danielle,” she responded back politely, looking back over her notes.
“ Let’s see. It seems like we left off with talking about your parents divorce and how you claimed that you still don’t know what inspired it,” she said, looking up at politely. Sure , she should be truthful, she should have told her about the molestation she suffered through for years. But saying it out loud made her seem like a victim; and the last thing she wanted was to be a victim of anything that asshole had ever done. “ Right,” Dani said with a nod. “ Now.. it seems like there seems to be a lot of uncertainty when it comes to relationships in your life. At what point did you realize you were no longer interested in Lance and had found a new relationship with Jake?” she asked. “ I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t quite understand why that’s relevant” Dani said out of confusion. “ Well you’ve said a few sessions ago that Jake brought a light into your life, a sense of safety that you hadn’t felt with any other male companion before. Now, you’ve had a few high profile relationships. And I think it’s important to differentiate Jake from the men in your life, so you can pinpoint what exactly it is that separates him. It makes it easier to identify potential reasons that you and your father seemed to have such an emotionally distant relationship. So tell me, what about Jake makes you feel safe?” Dani pushed her hair from her face, looping her thumbs around one another as she tried to think about how to express herself. “ I guess..” she said, trying to think quickly, “ He’s different. He challenges me and he pushes my buttons, but in a way that he wants me to succeed. He doesn’t want me to fit whatever cookie cutter role of what he thinks a ‘girlfriend’ should be. He loves me for who I am. He points out my quirks and flaws, but he loves me. And he never tries to take advantage of anything about me. He’s point blank about his feelings, and kind at the same time. I feel safe when I am with him because he… I mean he.. .He doesn’t let me see myself as someone who is weak. If I am feeling ugly, or untalented, or just down.. he.. makes a point for me to see myself through his eyes. He doesn’t want anything from me. He just wants me to be happy. He’s exciting and passionate, and dangerous but he’s safe.. He would never do anything to hurt me,”she said quietly, “ And the other men in your life, they weren’t safe?” she questioned. Dani had never thought about her relationships with Lance and Joel as being unsafe. But maybe the relationship with Joel was unsafe, or at least unhealthy. She was already struggling with feelings accepted, and suddenly she was getting death threats. Her relationship with Lance was the definition of unhealthy. They were young, and he had his own battles and was having a hard time understanding he couldn’t control her. “ I don’t know,” Dani said, shaking her head as she tightened her fingers around one another. “ This Jake, do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?” Dani nodded instantly at the question, figuring she needed no other verbal confirmation. That was obvious.
“ And what do you need to move on in your life from what is holding you back?” she asked, and Dani felt her mind go completely blank. “ What is going to make you feel like the chains are lifted?” Dani looked down at her hands, tracing her fingers over one another until her fingers glided over her left ring finger. “ I have to go,” she said, standing up quickly. Jake. Jake was what she needed. Not just because it was him ; but because he was the person that knew how to make her push to be a better form of herself. Whether that meant performing on stage, or staying in bed and reading the newspaper together. “ You’re checking yourself out?” she questioned curiously, standing up, “ Danielle, wait!” she called out after her. But Dani was already moving down the hall towards her room. Being here, away from everything, had been nice. It was nice to take a step back and breathe, and just sort of realize what demons existed inside of her. Jake may understand her and know her like the back of his hand, but she was still discovering who she was and just how haunted she felt – but now, she was also realizing just how put together she felt. The entire process when her and Jake had ‘split’ had been her trying to prove to him that she was worthy, confident. But he knew it all along ; the person she needed to convince was herself. They would always fight, they would always be passionate, and she prayed to God that their last argument wasn’t behind them. Dani grabbed all of her stuff in her suitcase as quickly as she could, calling the airport as she made her way out to the car waiting for her outside.
Once she made it to her and Jake’s place, she came in, barreling like a representation of the tazmanian devil she was sure. She was in the guest bedroom, digging through the stacks of mail that her grandmother had sent her, trying to find the keepsake. She turned her ear towards the door, hearing Jake as he had entered. Unless he was keeping a tabs on the gossip blog on his phone, which he never did, then he wouldn’t know she had been seen at the airport. She heard the water starting right away and put her hands on her knees, keeping the box tightly in her hand. “ Baby!” she called out, pushing her way into the bathroom. “ Hi,” she said, as though it were casual for her to be storming into the bathroom. Dani stepped into the shower, wrapping her arm around his neck and standing on her toes to kiss him, keeping her other hand clutched around the box in her hands. “I want you to ask me to marry you. Someday.” she said, pushing the wet hair from her face as she offered him the box in her hands.
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“ Let’s see. It seems like we left off with talking about your parents divorce and how you claimed that you still don’t know what inspired it,” she said, looking up at politely. Sure , she should be truthful, she should have told her about the molestation she suffered through for years. But saying it out loud made her seem like a victim; and the last thing she wanted was to be a victim of anything that asshole had ever done. “ Right,” Dani said with a nod. “ Now.. it seems like there seems to be a lot of uncertainty when it comes to relationships in your life. At what point did you realize you were no longer interested in Lance and had found a new relationship with Jake?” she asked. “ I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t quite understand why that’s relevant” Dani said out of confusion. “ Well you’ve said a few sessions ago that Jake brought a light into your life, a sense of safety that you hadn’t felt with any other male companion before. Now, you’ve had a few high profile relationships. And I think it’s important to differentiate Jake from the men in your life, so you can pinpoint what exactly it is that separates him. It makes it easier to identify potential reasons that you and your father seemed to have such an emotionally distant relationship. So tell me, what about Jake makes you feel safe?” Dani pushed her hair from her face, looping her thumbs around one another as she tried to think about how to express herself. “ I guess..” she said, trying to think quickly, “ He’s different. He challenges me and he pushes my buttons, but in a way that he wants me to succeed. He doesn’t want me to fit whatever cookie cutter role of what he thinks a ‘girlfriend’ should be. He loves me for who I am. He points out my quirks and flaws, but he loves me. And he never tries to take advantage of anything about me. He’s point blank about his feelings, and kind at the same time. I feel safe when I am with him because he… I mean he.. .He doesn’t let me see myself as someone who is weak. If I am feeling ugly, or untalented, or just down.. he.. makes a point for me to see myself through his eyes. He doesn’t want anything from me. He just wants me to be happy. He’s exciting and passionate, and dangerous but he’s safe.. He would never do anything to hurt me,”she said quietly, “ And the other men in your life, they weren’t safe?” she questioned. Dani had never thought about her relationships with Lance and Joel as being unsafe. But maybe the relationship with Joel was unsafe, or at least unhealthy. She was already struggling with feelings accepted, and suddenly she was getting death threats. Her relationship with Lance was the definition of unhealthy. They were young, and he had his own battles and was having a hard time understanding he couldn’t control her. “ I don’t know,” Dani said, shaking her head as she tightened her fingers around one another. “ This Jake, do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?” Dani nodded instantly at the question, figuring she needed no other verbal confirmation. That was obvious.
“ And what do you need to move on in your life from what is holding you back?” she asked, and Dani felt her mind go completely blank. “ What is going to make you feel like the chains are lifted?” Dani looked down at her hands, tracing her fingers over one another until her fingers glided over her left ring finger. “ I have to go,” she said, standing up quickly. Jake. Jake was what she needed. Not just because it was him ; but because he was the person that knew how to make her push to be a better form of herself. Whether that meant performing on stage, or staying in bed and reading the newspaper together. “ You’re checking yourself out?” she questioned curiously, standing up, “ Danielle, wait!” she called out after her. But Dani was already moving down the hall towards her room. Being here, away from everything, had been nice. It was nice to take a step back and breathe, and just sort of realize what demons existed inside of her. Jake may understand her and know her like the back of his hand, but she was still discovering who she was and just how haunted she felt – but now, she was also realizing just how put together she felt. The entire process when her and Jake had ‘split’ had been her trying to prove to him that she was worthy, confident. But he knew it all along ; the person she needed to convince was herself. They would always fight, they would always be passionate, and she prayed to God that their last argument wasn’t behind them. Dani grabbed all of her stuff in her suitcase as quickly as she could, calling the airport as she made her way out to the car waiting for her outside.
Once she made it to her and Jake’s place, she came in, barreling like a representation of the tazmanian devil she was sure. She was in the guest bedroom, digging through the stacks of mail that her grandmother had sent her, trying to find the keepsake. She turned her ear towards the door, hearing Jake as he had entered. Unless he was keeping a tabs on the gossip blog on his phone, which he never did, then he wouldn’t know she had been seen at the airport. She heard the water starting right away and put her hands on her knees, keeping the box tightly in her hand. “ Baby!” she called out, pushing her way into the bathroom. “ Hi,” she said, as though it were casual for her to be storming into the bathroom. Dani stepped into the shower, wrapping her arm around his neck and standing on her toes to kiss him, keeping her other hand clutched around the box in her hands. “I want you to ask me to marry you. Someday.” she said, pushing the wet hair from her face as she offered him the box in her hands.
Outfit
Pic
