Making Things Right [Shane]

[Kenzie Renner]

Mortgage payments, cribs, babies, bank CD’s, the best time to invest, health insurance plans, family deductibles. This is what everyone was talking about around her. Kenzie twirled her fork slightly, holding some chicken captive to its prongs before taking a bite. She smiled politely and nodded at some of the guests who were talking to her, trying to prepare her for this ‘new phase in her life as a future wife’. But across the table she could see Shane, looking at the display of forks as though it were ridiculous, because really..wasn’t it? Why did you need three forks in three different sizes? He wasn’t worrying about deductibles and mortgages. She smiled, setting her fork down before she excused herself form those close to her. Kenzie reached Shane, looking over her shoulder at Daniel. Daniel was loving this, in fact, she wasn’t even sure he had noticed that she had left his side. He was too busy enjoying the conversations and attention from this whole shenanigan. It had turned into a circus. All she had ever wanted in a wedding was a really small,simply ceremony. Lilacs. Her mother’s cooking. Drinking out of mason jars. This… this is not what she wanted.



“Hey,” she said, approaching Shane with her arms crossed. But when someone was family, and felt like home, it was hard to remain antsy around them. She lowered her arms, leaning down to wrap her arms around him in a hug. She hadn’t had her arms around a Madden in a while. “ So I was thinking… I could have Taco Bell here in like…ten minutes flat…. You wouldn’t be interested would you?” she asked, giving him a playful smile. “ Come on,” she said,tilting her head toward the exit before she maneuvered her way through people to make her quick get away. Kenzie slipped on her royal blue coat, slipping her hands into the pocket to take out her phone and began texting someone about delivering Taco Bell as she darted upwards on the stairs to reach the balcony.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

So many forks were in front of Shane and even though he had had his fair share of fancy events to attend over the course of his decades of being friends with Renner, he still had no idea what on earth all of t hem were meant for. And why he hell there were so many for a goddamn rehearsal dinner was beyond him. Part of him wondered if this was really what Kenzie wanted, aside from the groom choice, but just the arrangements in general. It was all so over the top. The Renner's had money but they hadn't raised Kenzie to be into 4 different forks and a course in between the courses to cleanse the palette. Shane wasn't really sure what was on his plate but he could tell that Kenzie wasn't fully present. It was funny how they weren't related in any way but in so many ways, because Shane had been there to watch her grow up alongside his own babies, Kenzie was like a daughter to him too. And for this event being in her honor, she was being awfully quiet.

Shane had set his fork down, checking his phone in hopes that there would be a text message or a missed call from his son, but there wasn't one. It was weird without Brayden here. He should be, to support Kenzie, but Shane also understood why he wasn't. Shane looked up when Kenzie had approached him, "Hey Kenz," he said as she leaned down to hug him. Shane brought his hands up, rubbing her arms, "Not sure what's on your plate either?" he joked. Taco Bell sounded much, much better though. Shane nodded, glancing around as everyone seemed to be engrossed in whatever conversation Daniel was holding with the guests, "You know the way to my heart, don't you?" Shane stood, taking his jacket and followed Kenzie to the balcony unseen. "Damn, it's chilly." Shane looked out over the buildings, sighing thinking about what city Brayden was in currently. It seemed like just yesterday Shane had gone on his first tour. It was such a whirlwind, no parents, different city every night, playing to crowds that you could swear were oozing energy right into you. Brayden needed that, even with what he was missing here. He still needed to go out and do those things, he needed to go start his life. He had so much ahead of him. But he also had left someone behind, and it had made things so complicated. Shane turned to face Kenzie, leaning against the rail, "So," he said, his expression neutral, "Superman is quite the host I guess."

[Kenzie Renner]

Kenzie text on her phone quickly, asking one of the Taboo interns to get two of Shane’s orders, stat. She wasn’t sure what Shane’s order was, but she figured the interns knew it well. And she figured that she would find something to eat out of it if she ordered it twice. She took in a sharp breath as the cool air hit her, tightening her arms around herself before moving in closer to Shane. Kenzie gave a quick smirk, which could have easily been mistaken as a scoff, when Shane suggested that Superman knew how to play host well. “He is an actor,” she said quietly, suggesting that Daniel could very well play whatever part pleased him. Kenzie looked out at the city. It was strange how you could be surrounded by thousands of people and still feel this depth of loneliness at the loss of one. “He means well,” she said, giving a nod before looking at Shane. ” Thanks for coming,” she said after a moment of silence. She narrowed her eyebrows, resting her forearms on the bar resting over the balcony. “Have you ….. Have you heard from him?” she asked, looking up at Shane, trying to smile though she was sure the sadness came through. Shane could tell, he could always tell.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Shane nodded when she said that Daniel meant well, "Yes, he does. That he does." And he did mean well. The guy was trying. he just didn't realize how wrong he was when he did the wrong thing. Shane shook his head when she thanked him for coming, "Outside, are you kidding? Don't take this the wrong way, but I haven't been that stuffy since... since I was mistakenly invited to the Met Gala. Still don't know how that happened." He laughed, placing a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "Either way, much rather be out here." But she was sad. Very, very sad Kenzie. Shane shook his head, glancing at his phone again for good measure, still nothing. "Actually no... not for a few hours. Last I heard from him was about some of the new songs, but he's been doing the video shoot all day." Shooting videos could be a real bitch, it was fun but took forever and there was so many things involved.

[Kenzie Renner]

Kenzie smiled slowly, " I'm guessing your invite had something to do with the ballerina you knocked up," she said, bumping him very slightly with her hip. She held her breath, waiting for a response on whether or not he had heard from Brayden. Of course Shane knew which 'he' she was talking about. Had there ever been another he that had ever mattered to her? Until now,... she reminded herself. Kenzie looked down, twirling the engagement ring on her finger before looking back up at Shane. Video? Kenzie made a slight face before turning to face him completely, ignoring the city view and the cold that surrounded them. " Video?" she questioned aloud this time. " Is he making new music or something?" she said. But then the full impact of what that meant hit her like a bullet to the chest. He hadn't told her. But they told each other everything. He was on tour and doing this really amazing thing with his life; but he hadn't told her. She didn't know what was going on in his life. Is this what it was going to be like from now? She swallowed, hard, trying to focus. " What is he making?" she asked again, looking a bit bewildered before she brought her gaze back to Shane. How could she admit that her and Brayden hadn't exactly been speaking? Part of her was beginning to think they were missing each others calls and FaceTime attempts on purpose, to avoid any type of pain and hurt that may come along with seeing one another.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Shane hadn't realized when the words were coming out of his mouth that it was all news to Kenzie. It dawned on him that she actually had no idea about anything Brayden or his band was doing. Did she even know he was in Australia? "What?" Shane said looking at her with a frown, "The video, yeah. For the new single?" Still nothing. She had no clue. Had they even been talking to each other? What in the actually hell was going on in his kid's life, Shane was wondering. "They've been recording new music, your dad has them booked in studios all over the place. The album is practically finished, have you not heard any of it?" Shane asked, not trying to make her feel out of the loop, but genuinely concerned that she was so in the dark about Brayden's career Shane was wondering what else she was in the dark about. But Shane had heard all of the new songs, heard ever word Brayden had written. It was no wonder Kenzie hadn't heard any of it. It was all about her. Maybe there was a reason Brayden wasn't telling her about it, her being engaged and all. Shane paused, both of them silent as this new piece of information sunk in and then asked, "Kenzie when was the last time you and Brayden talked?"

[Kenzie Renner]

It was like Kenzie literally began to deflate. The air escaped her yet she had no energy to try and take in another breath as she stared at Shane. He seemed baffled to the fact that she didn’t know any of this either. When he questioned about when the last time they spoke was, Kenzie brought her hand up to her forehead, sort of realizing for the first time that they hadn’t. “ He called me on my birthday… we talked for a couple of minutes…” she said, shaking her head before she continued. “But we haven’t really …talked for a couple of months,” she said, pushing her hair behind her ear. “ Well, I want to hear it,” she said with a blank expression in Shane’s direction. “ I want to hear it,” she said again, matter of factly. What the hell was he doing that he couldn’t let her be a part of it? She knew that Shane had it on him, that he had a copy of it somehow. Hell, her father must have been signing off on all of it. “ Did you all know?” she asked, her voice raising slightly as she realized that the fact that others seem to know more about what was going on with Brayden than she did. Her family knew? What did her dad know that she didn’t? Why didn’t she know? Because she was marrying Daniel? Because Brayden had promised he would be there for her, but he wasn’t. He was gone. He had left, and was slowly disappearing out of her life.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Well then. That was news to Shane, the fact that they had not exactly been in communication. On his part, Shane knew Bray was having a rough time with Kenzie getting married. He'd heard the songs, he spoke to his kid on the phone and facetimed, but he didn't know that they literally had not been talking. It put it in perspective really, how big of a deal this was for a couple of kids to be dealing with. Two kids who had been best friends their entire lives weren't even talking on the phone except for the mandatory birthday call. "Ahh." Well that was really... shitty. Shane looked at her with raised eyebrows, hearing the urgency in her voice as he dug an ipod out of his coat pocket. He had it with him almost always, earbuds wrapped around the device loosely. Shane handed it to her after pulling up 5sos, a complete list of songs that were unreleased, raw recordings. Brayden had sent them looking for thoughts and suggestions. "Here. That's all of them." Half of them wouldn't make the album, but that didn't make them absent from Brayden's life. There they all were, a digital diary.

[Kenzie Renner]

Kenzie snatched the ipod from Shane like a fat girl at a cupcake shop. Quickly she untangled the buds that were wrapped around the ipod and brought it up to her ears, clicking through the music until she found the playlist. She was vaguely aware that the intern had shown up and that while she had intended to pay the intern for everything, she was now self consumed with the music that was coming from the iPod, leaving Shane to pay for Taco Bell. Which, had she known he was going to have to do that she would’ve just snagged that stupid lifetime card to Taco Bell that her mom had gotten him before she was even born. But by the time Shane had even turned around again with food in hand, Kenzie was sitting down on the ground with her back against the cement of the balcony. She looked up at Shane, listening to the words of ‘Wherever You Are’ before taking the buds out and setting them on her knees. It was overwhelming to think that they both laid in bed at night, thinking about reaching out to the other but never pressing dial. “ Is this about me?” she questioned quietly, looking at Shane. “ Are there any others?” she said, scrolling through the songs on the playlist and trying to imagine by the names which ones may be about her. Kenzie brought her hands to her face. She was at her rehearsal dinner. She and Brayden had both done enough damage to whatever they had. He was supposed to be in a tiny little box that she could tuck away neatly. But he was God knows where, writing these heartbreaking songs, when they couldn’t even talk to each other about it. How could they be so close to one another but so far away? How could they both be letting go of something that they were still holding onto? Kenzie bit her bottom lip and looked up again. “ … Wh- I…” she started, shaking her head. “He was with Brooke. He.. broke what we had. And then he changed what we were. And I couldn’t sit and wait for him anymore. So I didn’t. And now he isn’t waiting. And neither of us are fighting for….anything..” she said, shaking her head. “ What am I supposed to.. what is…. Ugh..” she said, running her hand through her hair before clinging to the back of it. “ He has no right to… make this stuff and.. It’s not.. he can’t… pretend that it’s something he wants to fight for, and then not have me find out until after I am already married. I have a right to know what he is thinking and feeling. And it isn’t fair to make me the bad guy. And… if he wanted this, if he really did, I .. he’d be here. And he’s not. He’s not here, Shane. Brayden isn’t here. Do you know who is? Daniel. Brayden isn’t here,”

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Shane didn't know if he should let her be or stay or- oh he could pay for the Taco Bell, that he could handle. This wasn't a situation that anyone handled, this was a situation that Brayden would normally handle, but that wasn't an option because he was half the reason this situation was happening. "Thanks," Shane told the intern, looking at Kenzie as the intern left. She wanted to know if it was about her. Shane leaned over and looked at which song she had played, "Oh yeah, that one for sure." Shane opened the Taco Bell bag, shrugging as she asked if there were others about her, "Oh sure there are others, loads of them. Probably a majority of them, I don't know. I stopped keeping track a while back." Shane bit into his taco and sighed, leaning against the rail. "Kenzie I don't think you're the bad guy here. And we both know why he isn't here," he looked at her pointedly. He was off writing heartbreaking songs about her, the idea of seeing her marry someone else was beyond painful at this point. "Look, we both know Brayden is terrible at talking. He didn't talk until he was like five, you talked for him. Anyways, he's never been good with sharing feelings, you know that. I don't think he's trying to make anything of it except sort through it. Some people talk it out, some people write songs about it. That's his way. I'm not saying it's fair that you didn't know, but I think if you want to know what he hasn't been telling you, it's all on there." Shane pointed at the ipod and then threw the empty wrapper into the bag and grabbed another taco, tearing into it, "I don't think it's a matter of wanting it badly enough to fight for it Kenzie, you both have your way of... mutual respect for each others decisions. I don't know how else to put it, you know what I'm talking about. You've been like that your whole lives. You two have always danced to the beat of your own drum when it came to the other, and no one else could get on that beat. It was impossible."

[Kenzie Renner]

Kenzie looked over at Shane as he ate, rambled off his wisdom, ate some more. She looked straight ahead of her, blinking into the darkness of the night as she let everything that had happened tonight sort of sink in with her. “It wasn’t exactly a mutual respect when he was with Brooke,” she said, groaning as she brought her hands up to her face. “ I can’t stay mad at him for that, forever. I can’t. I know that. I try not to be.” Kenzie took in a deep breath, sighing. “He is right though. We were young, and we’re dumb. I just…I get that I realized my feelings for him first. I get that, I do. I understand the sense of normality that came with his feelings for me. I just never thought he would want to share that with someone else…” she said quietly. “ I spent so much time wondering what she had that was better than me. Or why he didn’t care about me the same way I cared about him…” she muttered, gnawing at the inside of her cheek. “I had never felt not good enough until that moment. He’d spent his life making sure I felt special, like the most important girl in the world. But then I realized, maybe I’m not the most important girl in the world, to him. Maybe someone else deserved him, maybe that’s the way he saw it with her.”. She sat up, reaching for a taco out of the bag. “We’re young, I get that. But growing up the way we did.. I feel like we’re decades past our age, and he was the one thing in life I was sure about. You know what it’s like having the rug pulled out from underneath you? Because I saw it in his face.. that day, at the wedding shop. He had the rug pulled out from underneath him. It’s like he woke up and realized for the first time everything that was going on.. But I.. I don’t want to be someone’s second choice. And I’m at a place right now I… I’m getting married,” she said, looking down at her ring again. “What am I supposed to do… eat Cheetos on the couch and watch reruns of Fresh Prince? He’s not.. he doesn’t…” she shook her head, deciding to take a bite of her taco instead of try to explain herself any further.