[BLAKE] I Don't Want to Live Forever

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian rode the elevator, checking his phone and then put it in his pocket before the doors opened and stepped out into the lobby of Taboo Records.  He checked in with the receptionist who sent him into a lounge that was meant for the artists.  Was he an artist?  He was today he supposed.  He'd already down the paperwork ahead of time and now they were having a writing a session.  He wondered what that was going to be like, because obviously Blake Parker was known for her lyrics and song writing abilities.  The receptionist had told him to help himself to the fridge and that Blake would come out when she was ready for him.  Sebastian grabbed a water from the fridge, wishing eh had some weed to calm his nerves but had purposely come here sober.  He wanted to take this seriously and see if he was capable of even doing this.  Blake entered finally after a moment and Sebastian stood, "Hey," he said, "Good to see you again."  He figured she'd kind of leas this little session so he'd just have to see where she took this.

[Blake Emma Renner]

Blake was filtering through some of her papers, trying to decipher what song was going to take precedence over the others for her next album. It was strange to think that she was this in control of her career at this point. She had woken up and become a mogul. How did that happen? Well she knew how it happened. Logan Renner. It was one thing to credit her career to the fact that she was a talented lyricist. But the reality was that if she had been under any other label or management that she would not have found the success that she has today. Blake shut the file, realizing that she was late for her next appointment. She slightly envied this kid. He was going to be able to experience the start of his career, and remember it. He would remember this feeling, of what it was like to walk into somewhere and know that your life was about to completely change. Blake didn't remember what that moment was for her career. When did she know that her life was never going to be the same? She smiled as she walked into the room where Sebastian was waiting. His life was never going to be the same. She wanted to tell him, wanted to advise him - remember this moment. Savor it. Because not all of us get to. But that would require a lot of information that the public just didn't have available to them. "I am so sorry that I am late," she said genuinely as she made her way to see him. "Are you ready?" she questioned before making her way back toward her studio. "So I asked at the club and they said that some of your favorite food was bruschetta. So I made some.." Blake pushed the door open to her studio, making way into the vanilla and lilac scented small room. It was decorated with soft whites and dark purples, grey accents. "This is my studio," she said, going over to a vase of flowers before neurotically fixing it to make sure that it looked perfect. She repositioned the plate of bruschetta so that it was sitting perfectly in the middle of the table. " .... I also made some tea," she said, gesturing to this pitcher. Blake sat down, smoothing her hands out over her skirt. "Okay so, this is pretty casual. The song is supposed to be sexy and I have a certain idea for how I want it to sound. But in order to get the lyrics right, I need it to be something that you are comfortable with. Do you feel comfortable telling me about your past relationships? It's the best way for me to be able form the lyrics for this... " she said, biting the edge of her lip. "Um... the only other lyricist that I have found who has a similar style as me is Shane." she said, giving a slight nod. " I think that we try to be more story tellers.. instead of... rhymers.." she said, making a slight face. "Modern artists seem to worry too much about hooks. They forget that the audience will follow you through any lyrics that you write as long as they are relatable. I don't sing about expensive cars and rolex watches because the every day person doesn't connect with that. I don't know about you but I want the person who laughs while they are singing. I want the person who can feel the heartbreak from the lyrics in the very core of their soul. That doesn't come from money and material items. Every one can relate to love.. or the absence of it.. Or to love someone so much that you start to hate yourself. It's all consuming," she said, thinking about her own past. "... But anyway. Every one knows my love story. What's yours?"

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian followed her to her studio, thanking her for being thoughtful, trying to have some things around he liked.  He listened to her explain that the song needed to be real and relatable; he knew that was how her songs worked, because she wrote about her real ezperiences.  She wanted to know his story.  Sebastian let out a breath, thinking.  He didn't have a lot to hold onto right now, and if he gave this a real shot, this could be a future.  A plan.  he needed to put effort into this, which, right now, meant opening up and telling Blake Parker about his personal life.  "Okay, you want my real story?"  he nodded as if confirming that he would divulge that for her, "So... here's what it is.  I'm in love with my sister's best friend.  They've been friends since we were all in preschool, my sister and I are twins so we've all grown up together, been in the same schools, same grades.  The thing is, she doesn't see me as an option.  Honestly I think she looks at me like a brother; I tell her I love her and she laughs.  I don't think she thinks I'm serious.  Last summer we hooked up and then she left for rehab so... maybe I sound like a total girl but I'm pretty sure it meant more to more to me than it did for her.  And now she's dating someone; I think it's pretty serious.  Obviously I'm jealous, but I can't even be mad at her because... I just can't.  I know one day I'll be over it, and I don't know, maybe I'll find someone else.  Right now it just sucks."  he paused, wondering if he should stop talking, or if he sounded like a loser that was hung up on some beautiful girl that was never going to want him.  

[Blake Emma Renner]

Blake sat watching Sebastian with her legs crossed as he decided to start divulging his life story. She gave a small nod, taking down some notes. "That sounds like a cruel existence," she said, merely as commentary while he spoke. She knew what it was like, though. There were plenty of times in her and Logan's relationship where she felt like the relationship was one sided, and that the only emotion she would get from him was pain. It was a hard thing to love someone and know that you would give them the world, asking them to come home, and all you would get in return was disappointment and a feeling of failure. "Okay. So let's make something positive out of that," she said, moving her hair out of her face as she moved over to her piano. She put the notes up on the piano. "Wondering if I dodged a bullet, or just lost the love of my life.." she muttered, playing with the keys. "I gave you something, but you gave me nothing," she started, playing around with the keys. "How high can your falsetto go?" she asked curiously as she looked over at him. Blake watched him for a moment, wondering how personal she was allowed to get with him. Everything inside of her told her to hug him, talk it out. But was the new Blake Parker supposed to be more guarded of her own life and feelings? Was she supposed to have a wall around her life? That didn't seem fair. Blake bit the edge of her lip. " Okay so, you obviously live a life of extravagance.." she said, gesturing to him. They might not live in the same circle, but they lived in a similar world. Surrounded by people who were yes men. "But we can be living in pain even in the extravagant world... " she said. Blake took a deep breath. "I just wanna keep calling your name, until you come back home..." she said, thinking about how he must have felt when she was in rehab. Surely he felt how Blake did every time it seemed like he crawled back into Scarlet's sticky web of seduction and lust. Were they gone forever to their addictions? Blake turned her head side to side, letting her neck pop as she started working.

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian nodded, thinking back on when Belle had been away, "Yeah, I mean I don't know how many times I thought about calling her, or hoping when my phone rang it would be her saying she was coming back to the city.  And..." he hesitated, noting the fact that she was watching him and realized she could probably read his hesitation like a book.  "Maybe this is too personal, I don't know.  I've struggled with.. addiction for a little while.  She did as well, obviously before she went to rehab.  It was kind of crutch we had in common, but when she left I just, fell deeper in the hole I guess.  I spent days at home just, trying to cope.  Whatever means I had available, I went there.  I'm on not proud of it... but I also just don't want to feel like I'm crazy anymore.  I don't think it's crazy to love someone."  He shrugged, feeling like she'd basically gotten the gist of things.  She asked him how high his falsetto went and he laughed, "Well, we could find out," he responded, not really sure what his range was.  he'd never actually sat and tried to establish that.  

[Blake Emma Renner]

Blake had turned at the piano bench to look at Sebastian as he was telling her about some of the addictions that he faced in the past. Blake wasn't one to judge. Just because her addictions had come in the form of a considerably damaging relationship didn't mean that they were any better or worse than a drug addiction. Love was the most forceful drug there was. She gave a small understanding nod. So maybe this was going to be a long process. "Okay," Blake said, putting her hands together slightly. Honestly, she couldn't remember if she had ever worked with someone in the studio that wasn't used to working in the studio. But if someone was naturally talented than surely they would just be able to pick it up pretty quickly. "I can work with that," she said in regards to the lyrics. "But before I get a crazy idea on how I should reign the lyrics in and stuff I kind of want to get an idea where we can go with it musically. I know it sounds really weird, but it impacts the direction of the lyrics and what we can play with," she said going over to the sound board. "Like, I don't have a crazy good range," she said with a slight laugh. "Okay so go in there, and do some range practice. Um.. try singing the birthday song. Slowly get higher as you go through it," she said, offering him the headphones before she head back into the sound booth.

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

Sebastian wasn't exactly tuned into this whole song writing thing, and honestly if he was going to have anyone guiding through this process he was pretty sure Blake Parker was literally the best option he could possibly have.  He decided it was good to just let her continue writing; obviously she had some ideas flowing.  She needed to now what Sebastian's range was and Sebastian truly didn't know what his own range was.  He was kind of blindly trusting Blake as a mentor and a guide and if she wanted him to sing the birthday song he was going to get over whatever insecurities he had and sing the birthday song.  He did as he was told, going into the booth and warmed up a bit, singing happy birthday to essentially no one.  He did that for a bit, Blake asking him what songs he knew, trying out different things.  Every time he thought he'd done something good she told him he had more in him.  She was pushing him.  Maybe that was a good thing, no one ever pushed him to try and see just where his abilities maxed out.  He came back out to take a little break, taking a drink of his water.  

[Blake Emma Renner]

Blake was making little notes as she played the piano along with him, going in a higher and higher register with each song that they chose to sing. "Okay, a little higher," she said several times, trying to get him to bridge the gap between what he thought he could sing and what he could actually sing. Logan Renner had been the most phenomenal voice coach she genuinely could've asked for. Even now she wasn't vocalist of the year. But she would be a fool to not notice that her vocals highly improved from her first album to the last one. But Sebastian actually had talent. He seemed surprised every time she told him to go higher, but she wasn't sure why. Could he not hear how talented he was? Blake smiled as he came to take a break. "Logan is going to be so ecstatic to meet you," she said, giving a firm nod. "He should be stopping by at some point today," she mused, playing with some of the keys. "Here is what I have worked out so far for lyrics, but add your own thoughts." she said, handing him the sheet and a pencil. "Right now is the time to mess around and see what fits since none of it is final. Just see what feels right. Go with it."

[Sebastian Jude Astor]

It was funny because Blake looked surprised every time he seemed surprised by his own range.  It wasn't that he didn't know he had talent, it was just that he had never explored it in this amount of depth.  It was new for him too, seeing just how much he could really do.  Sebastian looked over what she had so far, making a few notes, making a few suggestions tentatively, not sure what things she would like and what she wouldn't.  As Blake played along with some of it, Sebastian sang parts of it, asking her, "Okay maybe here, I could go higher," he mentioned.  He tried it out, seeing what she thought when there was a knock on the door, "It's been a while since we've heard anything like that around here."  Sebastian looked over to see Logan had come in, giving Blake a kiss and shook Sebastian's hand, "Nice to meet you, Blake's told me good things.  How's it going in here?"  Sebastian looked at Blake and smiled, "Blake's got a lot going, it's good though I think."  Logan crossed his arms, studying him, "I'll say.  Anyways, I just wanted to introduce myself.  I'll be in my office doing some paperwork, but I'll check back in a little while."  Sebastian wasn't sure but he thought maybe Logan was a little impressed.