(Madeline) He loves me...

[Ryan James O'Neil]

Ryan smiled, saying goodbye to the few models who had asked if he was going to any of the after parties but he wasn't really sure what he was doing. He'd just come with Ethan because he felt he was supposed to be here but wasn't really sure how he was supposed to act around Madeline. He thought maybe she wouldn't want him there or something, he didn't know. But when she'd seen him, she had smiled anyways, and he'd smiled back. But that was earlier this evening. Before the show. Ryan hadn't really said much to anyone, just quietly watched the show, right up until he heard the music that was for him and got shoved on stage with a microphone. He had zero intentions of making an appearance but when he saw Madeline in her outfit and she was practically glowing, Victoria's Secret's crown jewel, how could be not? He had walked out to her shaking his head. She had totally planned this. So he took her hand, and he sang the damn song and he watched her while he walked beside her, looking like walking sex and he was singing a song about sex that he knew she loved and before he knew it he was grinning like a fool and by the time he had gotten to the end of the runway with her he forgot they were on television and forgot that they weren't speaking before this. So he did what any guy in his shoes would do, he leaned in and stole a kiss on the cheek of his angel, the only person who really ever made him grin like a small child who just found out they were going to Disney World.

Ryan knew it was game over when she make a second walk, knowing that probably was as planned as his performance, and she kissed his cheek too. Game over. Game. Fucking. Over. Where they really that damn inevitable? Where they really, really, that hopeless, they couldn't even stay away from each other? He didn't care. All he cared about was Madeline at the moment and he didn't give much thought to whatever their situation was. After the show was over for real this time, Ryan stood by Ethan who was actually being dogged by reporters about Natalia and didn't blame him a bit when he decided to leave, though Ryan noted that he hadn't even waited to say hi to Rosie. He was so caught up in not having his own shit put on blast he forgot why he was there. Ryan was sure he'd text her or something. Sure enough, not even two minutes later, Rosie had showed up in front of Ryan, her pink robe wrapped tightly around herself, asking where Ethan had gone. Ryan explained that he'd left, trying to get away from the reporters, but Ryan hadn't expected her to look so damn disappointed. She looked like a five year old who dropped her ice cream cone in central park. Now that was just sad, Ryan didn't know Rosie's face was capable of producing a frown. Ryan finally saw Madeline, who was speaking to someone but eh was then stopped by Logan. He was feet from Madeline, surely she could see him and would slip away from whatever conversation she was having, but Logan asked him, "So, that was cool, impromptu performance, guess you won't be going home to smoke pot and play COD like a depressed loser, huh?" he joked. Ryan shrugged, sliding passed him and towards Madeline, "Ehh, I don't really do that anymore..." he said before he stepped in front of her, holding out a single gerber daisy to her. "You look beautiful," he said softly, watching her and then shook his head laughing, because she had smiled, surprised, but then stopped before she tore a petal off, but clearly wanting to but didn't want to totally ruin the flower. "I knew you were going to do that, you want to rip all the petals off don't you?" Ryan sighed, "That's why I got two. Here. Rip the petals off this one," he shrugged.

[Madeline Lea O'Neil]

Madeline twirled the satin strings of her rope together lazily around her fingers before she tied it at the side of her hips and looked back up at one of the producers of the show that was talking to her. Though she was only vaguely aware of what he was saying because she could tell that Ryan was standing just a few feet away from her talking to Logan, and what could have been disasterous with them being in the same room actually turned out to be something she hadn’t expected. Her producer was asking her something about Ryan’s performance, but all Madeline could do was take her gaze off of Ryan and look in the other direction to see where Patrick was, and more importantly, what his eyes were watching. The kisses on the cheek he’d have to forgive. Angels were flirty by nature on the runway, and if it had been anyone besides Ryan he probably would’ve believed that she was just doing it to feed the crowd. The fact that it was Ryan added a little more suspicion to it. Madeline turned to her producer and nodded, giving a quick smile before she caught Rosie’s eye and tilted her head towards Ryan. She smiled again as Rosie winked at her and made her way over to Patrick. That was best friends for you. “ I’m sorry… I have to go,” Madeline said as she stepped away from her producer, not caring to think of a good excuse as to why. “ Great show!” she said before she gave him a hug and made her way over to Ryan, making a confused face as she overheard him say that he didn’t really like to smoke anymore. She was slightly worried about how she was going to tell Logan to beat it, but thankfully Ryan just moved past him instead and made his way towards her. She stopped walking and waited for him to come to her, watching him walk as she gave a small sigh. Everything about him was probably the sexiest thing in the world, and he had no idea.

Madeline opened her mouth quickly to say something to him, tell him he had a great performance, thank him for coming , anything. But before she could say anything he was holding up a gerber daisy and she smiled instantly. “ Me?” she questioned before she reached out and took it. Madeline brought it to her nose and smelled it quickly as she smiled before she brought her fingers to the petals, curving them around a soft petal tightly before she stopped. She scrunched her nose, wanting so badly to pull the petals off but didn’t want to ruin something Ryan had given her. She smiled again as he told her she looked beautiful and looked back up at him. “ Thank you, you look…” she said, lifting her eyebrow as she looked over him. She stopped, giving a small laugh as she looked back down at the ground. What she couldn’t even compliment him now without losing the ability to talk? She should have never gone to his stupid concert when they were friends. It was the first time she’d really looked at him as something more than her best friend, and now she couldn’t stop thinking of him that way, what it felt like to be in his arms, the warmth of his chest. Madeline gasped and smiled again quickly as he held up another gerber daisy for her to demolish. “ You do know me well…” she said playfully before she took it away from him. “ Let’s see..” she said tearing one of the petals off as she looked up at Ryan. “ He loves me,” she said, continuing to tear each petal, continuing in the childish obsession with he loves me, he loves me not. She tore them off fairly quickly, not knowing how much time she had with Ryan but when she got to the last one she gave a small frown. “ He loves me not,” she said, tearing off the last petal before she held it out to the side and let it fall to the ground.

[Ryan James O'Neil]

Ryan raised his eyebrow when she was going to comment on how he looked but didn't finish her sentence. He thought he could probably fill in the blanks. He probably looked to her how she looked to him; desirable. And yeah he still felt they needed to figure things out before they just jumped back in, but there was no denying how they felt. The more time he spent away from her, the more he was like, am I am idiot? Yes, yes I am. He could have the girl if he wanted. And he did want. He just kept re evaluating just how much it bothered him that she was married. And not wanting to make a cheater out of her. And for himself. Not wanting to share her. It was all just so frustrating. When could they just be together? He watched her pull the petals off, clearly enjoying it. She was right, he did know her well. Much better then Patrick ever would. She stopped and pulled off the last petal, the final 'he loves me not' and Ryan could see the disappointment on her face. Ryan reached down and easily popped the head off the flower so there was just a stem left in her delicate hands, adding, "No he does. He definitely loves you." He looked over her face, smiling softly. Nothing had changed. He was still so in love with her it was silly. How could he not be? Everything about her, the shape of her eyes and the way they sparkled bright blue all the time, like they were permanently smiling at him, her tiny frame, her sly, quiet smile. Every time she smiled it was game over, big time, from day one. He'd flown over oceans for this girl. He'd watched her as she looked toward the stars, saw the look on her face while she counted the possibilities. He'd give her anything if he could, anything at all. He sighed, "I'm sorry we haven't spoken much lately... I know it's not really fair." He looked around, chuckling softly, "We really can't stay away from each other though, can we?"

[Madeline Lea O'Neil]

Madeline looked down at the stem in her hands, twirling it lazy between her fingers. She literally had everything in the world a girl could ask for, and she didn’t want any of it. She’d give up everything in the world just to have Ryan look at her like she was his again. After a few moments she took in a deep breath and sighed, looking back up at Ryan. Madeline bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling too brightly as Ryan reached down and snapped the head of her flower off, saying he loved her. She smiled slowly before she looked back over her shoulder to see where Rosie and Patrick were. Madeline coughed uncomfortably knowing that they were surrounded by everyone else and that she couldn’t just reach out and touch him. After moving her hair from her face she reached down with her hand and wrapped it around Ryan’s and pulled him away. “ Ryan,” she started off, whispering beneath her breath. “ I am leaving. I can’t even say I’m ‘ leaving him’. That would mean I somehow belong to him. Which is ridiculous because I’ve belonged to you since that night I met you at the bar for drinks. I’ve been yours since the first kiss and I’ll be yours until my last breath. I just.. need to find a safe way to get out,’

Madeline looked back over her shoulder before she pulled him behind the curtain and leaned against the wall, holding her hands against his chest. She smiled slowly,lowering her hands to his lower stomach. “I love you..” she said, standing on her toes to kiss the side of his jawline. “ I love you not….dressed..” she said, smiling against his skin. Madeline wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her cheek against his shoulder. “ I love you,” she whispered softly, bringing one of her fingers up to trace her fingertip against his lip gently. “ I love you not.. chaste” she said, kissing beneath his ear tenderly before she wrapped her hands around his jaw and kissed him, narrowing her eyebrows as she pulled herself closer to him, surprised by how much she missed just the familiarity of every single thing there was about him. She honestly felt like she knew his own body better than her own, and being able to feel his lips against hers again felt like she was finally home again.

[Ryan James O'Neil]

Ryan looked behind him and didn't see anyone noticing them leaving, so he kept his hand in hers and let her lead him behind the curtain, though what she said made him furrow his eyebrows. He wanted her to leave Patrick more than anything but he also had this overwhelming feeling to make sure she was safe. And pissing off Patrick wouldn't do so. "Madeline, i don't even... just, do whatever you think you should do. You know I'll wait as long as I have to. I'm not going anywhere, I don't want anyone else," he shook his head. He found himself smiling though when his hands naturally found a place on her waist, pushing her against the wall. He knew he couldn't keeps his hands off of her if he tried. She was just too Madeline. And he liked everything there was to like about Madeline. He laughed, when she kissed his jawline, saying she liked him not dressed and he had to agree with that one, "Likewise." Everything she said just drew him in until she kissed him, and he forgot about everything. The fashion show, the people around, Patrick, all of it. Pulling her against his chest he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her back. They were so going to hell. But if hell was anything like this and she was gonna be there, he'd take it. Ryan pulled away, kissing the soft skin of her jaw and down to he neck. She smelled like every memory he could possibly think of with her. Every bonfire, every sunrise, every star filled sky, all the rainy days spent cuddled under the sheets. There would never be anyone as familiar as her, he knew it. If he couldn't have her for the rest of his life he was positive he'd never love another person.

Ryan pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, "We can't stay behind this curtain forever... when can I see you? Even if we meet for lunch or something, I don't even care. I don't like not seeing you. Or talking to you. It really makes me crazy." He grinned. Apparently crazy enough that he didn't see the point in smoking weed because she was always on his mind and if he wanted to stop thinking about her he'd have to smoke so much he'd probably smoke himself into oblivion, which was completely stupid.

[Madeline Lea O'Neil]

Madeline closed her eyes as Ryan kissed the side of her neck and her jaw. It was ridiculous, this power he had over her. She tilted her neck to the side slightly and leaned into his chest. Literally all that was separating them from the rest of the group of people was a curtain. It was pretty gutsy of them to be doing this the way they were. Or pretty stupid. Either way. “ I can’t stay away from you either,” she said, tracing her fingers across his chest just to gain a sense of familiarity with them. “ What are you doing tonight?” she asked him, trying to think of any possible reason she could slip away from Patrick. “ We could watch a movie at your place, maybe I could stay the night,” she pressed, wondering how far Ryan was willing to let her back into his life. He’d broken up with her after all. Maybe he didn’t want her that much in his life.

Madeline kissed him again before she composed herself, wiping the lipstick that had gotten messy away from her lips. “ Leave your door unlocked..” she said, before she moved her hand into her hair and smoothed it down. After taking in a deep breath she stepped away from the curtain and made her way over to Patrick. The sooner she could get him out of there the sooner she could find a way to leave to Ryan’s. Which she was sure would include a lot of lying. Thankfully Joel and Rosie never really seemed to have a problem with being a part of her lie. Madeline smiled down at the gerber daisy in her hand and held onto it carefully. Someday Ryan would be hers and she wouldn’t have to hide it, and the closer that day got, the more anxious she could feel herself becoming, more likely to make a mistake that could ruin everything.