Post by Madeline Lea O'Neil on Dec 21, 2011 5:18:09 GMT -5
-- Dated for 12/24/2011 --
There’s a moment right when something is about to break, where it bends to its maximum limit. You see just how strong it is, and how little extra it takes to just tear it apart. Madeline took in deep breaths as she tried to take it exactly what had just happened. She looked at Patrick, against the floor and slowly moved her eyes down to her own hand. She dropped the vase quickly, what hadn’t shattered against his head. “Oh my god..” she said. As frightened as she was by what she had just done, by her own actions, she knew that he would physically be fine. He was groaning, placing his hands against the ground and was starting to slowly push himself up. ‘ No,’ she said quietly as she watched him. ’ I am leaving’ she said, brushing the blood away from her lip as she looked down at her hands and brushed away the glass from the vase that had embedded itself inside her knuckles. ” If you move.. I will scream.The walls in this building, are not that thick. I’ve been quiet long enough, Patrick. About everything. And if I don’t scream then you can do whatever you want. Hit me, I don’t care. But I’m leaving. And you can’t keep me quiet forever if you tried. It’s better if you just let me leave now. You’ve sort of lost your power. I don’t care anymore if you hit me. I’m not scared.” She licked her lips slowly before she took a step back, keeping her eyes on him. ‘ You can’t leave me’ he said, slowly pushing himself so that he was sitting up against the floor. Madeline shook her head, deciding not to say anything at all. There wasn’t any point in talking to him about it, her choice was made. She wasn’t going to let him break her. Not when she had someone who made her stronger.
‘Is there someone else?’ he asked, brushing his own hand against his hair to check for blood. He still looked bewildered, that she had fought back. She finally pushed back. That was something he hadn’t expected and Madeline could tell by the look in his eyes. She was just supposed to let him control her, in every aspect. “ Yes,” she decided to be honest. She was already leaving him, there wasn’t any point in lying to him. She didn’t want him to control any more of her actions. If she lied to him it meant that she was still scared. He had found out she was leaving when he saw that she was putting bags into a cab, which was still waiting downstairs. ‘Bags’ was sort of an understatement. She had twelve. She’d asked Mackenzie to come over and help her quickly the day before, before she left for Georgia to be with her family. Patrick wasn’t supposed to be home, he was supposed to be returning the day after Christmas. But he’d come home early, to ‘surprise’Madeline and caught her in the middle of leaving. She did believe that part of him loved her, through everything and that behind the mask of a monster was a good man.She just also believed that he was scared,lost, powerless,a coward.All things that made him feel he needed to control someone else. ‘ This is a mistake, you’ll see that Madeline. You need to come to your senses before this comes public and we have to find a way to fix it’. Madeline picked up her coat, pulling it on slowly. “ I’m smarter than you think I am, Patrick”. He laughed, holding onto his head, as though the idea that her having any realm of intelligence was inconceivable to him.She smiled slowly, “ You should turn the news on in a few minutes. There’s an announcement about your campaign that you’ll probably be interested in. Merry Christmas, baby” she said, dropping her key to the place on the table by the door before she buttoned up her coat and left, feeling her finger against her lip. That was the last thing she would ever let him break of hers again. The skin was sore, busted, bleeding, but she couldn’t help but smile, only making it worse. Madeline quickly pulled out a chapstick, walking carefully in her heels along the ice covered pavement. She waved at the cab driver. ’We’re not going far,” she said as she slid into the backseat. Ryan lived in the same neighborhood. She didn’t assume she would be moving in with him,but she figured he would at least let her stay the night.
Madeline pushed some of her hair behind her ear as she looked out of the window of the cab. She watched as a pair what looked like siblings tried to build a snowman out of the snow that had built up on the sidewalk, running up to the doorman of their building, somehow convincing him to lend them his scarf for the tiny snowman. Her mind flashed instantly to David, of the last Christmas they had spent together. He had seemed so warm, inviting,..happy. ‘ Merry Christmas, Madeline!’ he’d yelled, wrapping his arms around her tightly.He gave the best hugs in the entire world, always forcing Madeline to give into public display’s of affection, towards him. Those weren’t common in their family. She hugged her father, but to be honest she couldn’t count on her hand how many times she had seen him hug Joel or David, combined. David had always been so full of life. ’ Come on, I want to show you something’ he’d said, pulling Madeline by the hand outside. In South Africa it snowed, just during the months of July through August. Since they had traveled a lot as kids, Madeline had seen snow during December and always longed for it. She gasped as she had gotten outside, where David had set up a snow machine, covering their backyard with ‘fresh snow’for her to have. ”Oh my gosh..” she remembered saying, too taken back for words. ‘ Dad’s going to freak, but I think it’s worth it’. Madeline had laughed, shaking her head ”Worth it? I got you a stupid watch,” she said, before she reached over and hugged him again before running over to make a horrible example of a snowball. “ Should we get dad?”. Madeline laughed before forming a few snowballs. “ And Joel”. David had beat her inside, having already made what looked like a pail of snowballs. He was always a step ahead. But when they had gotten inside, their father was helping their mother in the kitchen, cooking. Their mother was really too adorable to try and aggravate so both her and David were trying to find ways to throw snowballs at their dad, inside the kitchen mind you which though it flustered their mother she didn’t actually punish them, while avoiding their mother and eachother.
Their father stood at the sink, ‘ That’s one’ he said, letting them hit him each with one snowball, to have their fun. But as he got hit with a second one he laughed, ‘ Alright, that’s two!” he grabbed the hose from the sink and sprayed them each with water. Madeline had laughed so hard, that she didn’t even try to catch herself from falling when she slid on some of the water that had landed on the slippery kitchen floor. She laid her head back against the floor, laughing at the entire exchange. Her father with makeshift snow in his hair from being hit, her mother trying to not seem annoyed but you could tell by how many times she was straightening the skirt of her dress that she would have rather had this happen outside, the crazed and playful look in David’s eyes at his attack on poor innocent Joel as he came into the kitchen to get some juice for the morning. ‘ Oh my gosh, you’re bleeding’ David had said urgently as he came running to Madeline’s side. She was still too busy laughing as she sat up to even care what he was talking about. ” Did you see his face?” she said, wiping tears of laughter away from her eyes as she gestured to both Joel and their father, talking about each of them. David had picked up her hand and was looking at it. “ Mads, seriously. You’re bleeding. Come on let’s clean it off”. Their father brushed the snow out of his hair and walked over to Madeline and David, helping him pick Madeline up, which really didn’t take that much work in the first place.
As she stood by the sink, listening to her mother carry on , on the phone with her own mother, about how rambunctious her children were being and making a horrid mess of her kitchen, Madeline smiled, trying to hold back another laughter as she winked at David. “ Best Christmas present, ever” she said in a whisper, nudging her hip against him. But David was too busy cleaning off her hand, looking intent. ‘ I’m so sorry,Madeline’. Madeline made a slight face and shrugged her shoulder. “ It really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even hurt. I promise, it was fun” she said, nodding at him. ‘No ..I’m sorry. I broke you, Mads’ he had said, seemingly disappointed in himself. Madeline looked at her dad, who was walking away ,probably to go sneak some scotch into his coffee since their mother was distracted and wouldn’t be able to give him a disappointed look. “ How did you break me?” she asked,not sure where David was going with this. She didn’t know what the look in his eyes had meant at the time, but now she knew. He already knew this was going to be his last Christmas. He was scared, lost. His decision had been made. ‘ Mads, … you are a doll to me,”. Madeline remembered laughing, shaking her head, “ Yeah you’re a doll, too, David”. He had shaken his head quickly, ‘ No, Madeline. You’re like a porcelain doll to me. You know those dolls I’m talking about? They’re beautiful. They’ve got this quality where they just… need to be taken care of. Promise me you won’t ever let anyone else ever break you. Promise me, Madeline”. The uneasy feeling had been in her stomach then but she nodded, “ I promise”. He had hugged her and she remembered their father standing in the doorway, drinking his coffee and scotch with a bemused expression on his face. Sometimes she dreamed of that moment, of wrapping her arms around David, of wishing she could go back, ask him to not break himself. She swore she could be in that moment now if she needed to, feeling the fabric of his sweater beneath her finger tips, the smell of his cologne and the tight feeling of his arms wrapped around her so protectively.
The sound of honking and people cursing at eachother outside of the cab brought Madeline back to the present day, where she looked down at her hands. She moved her gloves quickly and looked down at the inside of her thumb where her scar still was and smiled faintly. She traced her other thumb against the inside of it before she looked up, noticing that the car was stopping. Madeline pulled her gloves back on quickly and opened the door to her cab before she stepped out. She felt her phone vibrate on the inside of her coat and she reached inside, seeing her fathers name flash across the screen. She smiled, placing it between her shoulder and her ear as she answered it. “ Hello?” she said quickly, paying each of the taxi drivers. One which had carried her and a few of her bags, and the other which carried the rest of her things. ‘ We just saw something interesting on the news about your husband’. Madeline licked her lips as she headed up the steps to the building for Ryans apartment. “Soon to be ex-husband.. that announcement should be coming out soon but um,..what uh… what was it?” she asked trying to feign curiousity. ‘ Princess, you model lingerie. You’re not an actress. Don’t switch your career,’. Madeline laughed quietly, “ What did they say on the news?” she asked,now curious as to how Patrick would spin what she had done. ‘ Well apparently, some paperwork was sent from Patricks’ personal campaign office. He promised half of his campaign money as a donation to local womens abuse shelters. Interesting, isn’t it?”. Madeline mouthed thank you to someone as she propped the door open to Ryan’s building.”Well that seems oddly generous of him” she said, shaking her head at someone that was trying to help her bring her bags in. “ That’s okay, I got it. Thank you. Merry Christmas!” she smiled, waving at them before she started bringing her things into the entrance of Ryan’s building. ‘ Yes, it is. Quite uncharacteristic of him, might I add. You wouldn’t have had anything to do with that, would you princess?”. Madeline stopped as she looked around at her things. She put her hand over the speaker of her phone and ran over to the doorman. “Can you do me a favor? Taco Bell? Two double decker tacos, and keep the change” she said, holding out a hundred dollar bill to him. She smiled before she waved and went back to pulling her things in.
Madeline shut the door once she had brought all of her bags inside. “ People can be surprising during the holidays, dad. It can make people do things that others thought they never would,” she said, speaking about herself and how she had surprised not only Patrick, but herself as well. “ And um, gosh.. you know I’m not smart enough to pull something like that off,”. Madeline looked at the stairs and then the elevator before she started pushing her bags towards the elevator. Once they were all inside she had to sit on one of the bags just to have room to get in it as well. The doorman, who recognized her from being with Ryan, shook his head while laughing, waving at Madeline as the doors to the elevator shut. ‘ Good work, Madeline. I’m going to assume that you are either on your way to Ryan’s or at his place currently,’. Madeline looked around at the bags she had brought with her and clicked her tongue quietly, “ Yes,” she said,not wanting to lie to her father. ’ Well have merry Christmas eve. We’ll see you two kids in the morning. Everyone’s family is in town.. we should all meet. I’ll make your favorite waffles for breakfast and.. me and your mother can meet Ryan’s family,”. Madeline scrunched her nose, trying to decide if that was a good idea. ‘ He’s a good man, Madeline. He’s been fair, kind, patient. Be good to him, and you know he’ll be good to you”. Madeline smiled as the elevator doors opened, “ You sound like a groupie dad,” a snort came from the other end of the phone, ‘ Yeah, I’m about to get The Maine tattooed on my ass,’ Madeline laughed as she heard her mom gasp in the background, followed by David quickly apologizing. ‘Is that Ryan?!” she heard Joel yell in the background. “ No, just your sister’ she heard her father explain to Joel, “ Oh nevermind then” he said, probably going back to playing whatever xbox game he had convinced his parents to allow him to open for Christmas Eve. “Love him, too..” Madeline said as she rolled her eyes and started pushing her bags towards Ryans door. ‘ We’ll see you tomorrow,Madeline. Tell Ryan we say hello and Merry Christmas”. Madeline said her goodbyes quickly, hanging up before she finished pushing all of her bags in front of Ryans door. The doorman from before was upstairs quickly, bringing her the bag. ‘ Someone must really like tacos’ he said, giving her a small laugh before she smiled at him. “ You have no idea, thank you!” she said, waving at him before she looked at all of her things and held on tightly to the bag of food for Ryan.
Madeline looked at all twelve of her bags, standing in the middle of them and sighed tiredly. She took in a deep breath before she took her gloves off and reached up, forming her hand into a fist before she knocked against Ryans’ door. Ryan wasn’t just what she wanted for Christmas, he was what she wanted for everything. Forever. She loved him more than she had ever loved anything in her entire life. Even quiet moments alone with him, doing nothing but laying on the couch, laying outside on the roof and looking at the stars, listening to rain as it fell out of his bedroom window, were moments she wouldn’t trade for a single thing in the world. And tonight was theirs. She was leaving Patrick, and he knew it. He had to have known all along that she was never his, that she belonged to Ryan. She remembered the mistletoe quickly and pulled it out of her pocket, smiling down at it before she slipped her finger inside the ribbon wrapped tightly around it. On the other side of the door was the man that she loved more than anything in the entire world. He strengthened her family when they needed it the most. He was an amazing role model to her younger brother, and honestly there was a connection there that she was so thankful for. When Ryan had first come into their family, Joel had been so jealous of the relationship he had with their father. But over time they had built their own, and she knew that Ryan looked at Joel just as much as his younger brother, as Joel looked at him as his older brother. She’d done a lot of stupid things in her life, but Ryan was the best thing she’d ever done. Somehow he had fallen in love with her, too but she wasn’t going to question why anymore. Ryan was like freshly fallen snow. He made everything so beautiful, clean, like there was a new beginning. Every smile or time he wrapped his arms around her, felt like the start of something new. He was someone who taught her to fight back, to fight for what she wanted and to never let go. He was someone who taught her that being vulnerable didn’t mean being weak, and that it was never okay to let someone break you. She wouldn’t have needed to make that promise to David that Christmas, had she known Ryan then. He would never break her, never let her break herself. He’d help her keep the promise she made to him,and in turn she would promise to love him for the rest of her life. She knew that the real surprise would be for her to be there, but she still picked up the bag from Taco Bell and hid it behind her. She knew that some people would think it was extremely weird that she was bringing him tacos, but that’s where it sort of had all started with them. ‘Supermegatacos’. She smiled faintly as she thought back to that day in South Africa, the day she knew more than any other day before that, that she loved him. It was Christmas Eve,.. and she was his. And she had brought him tacos. She wanted the rest of their lives to be about making their own traditions.
Outfit
There’s a moment right when something is about to break, where it bends to its maximum limit. You see just how strong it is, and how little extra it takes to just tear it apart. Madeline took in deep breaths as she tried to take it exactly what had just happened. She looked at Patrick, against the floor and slowly moved her eyes down to her own hand. She dropped the vase quickly, what hadn’t shattered against his head. “Oh my god..” she said. As frightened as she was by what she had just done, by her own actions, she knew that he would physically be fine. He was groaning, placing his hands against the ground and was starting to slowly push himself up. ‘ No,’ she said quietly as she watched him. ’ I am leaving’ she said, brushing the blood away from her lip as she looked down at her hands and brushed away the glass from the vase that had embedded itself inside her knuckles. ” If you move.. I will scream.The walls in this building, are not that thick. I’ve been quiet long enough, Patrick. About everything. And if I don’t scream then you can do whatever you want. Hit me, I don’t care. But I’m leaving. And you can’t keep me quiet forever if you tried. It’s better if you just let me leave now. You’ve sort of lost your power. I don’t care anymore if you hit me. I’m not scared.” She licked her lips slowly before she took a step back, keeping her eyes on him. ‘ You can’t leave me’ he said, slowly pushing himself so that he was sitting up against the floor. Madeline shook her head, deciding not to say anything at all. There wasn’t any point in talking to him about it, her choice was made. She wasn’t going to let him break her. Not when she had someone who made her stronger.
‘Is there someone else?’ he asked, brushing his own hand against his hair to check for blood. He still looked bewildered, that she had fought back. She finally pushed back. That was something he hadn’t expected and Madeline could tell by the look in his eyes. She was just supposed to let him control her, in every aspect. “ Yes,” she decided to be honest. She was already leaving him, there wasn’t any point in lying to him. She didn’t want him to control any more of her actions. If she lied to him it meant that she was still scared. He had found out she was leaving when he saw that she was putting bags into a cab, which was still waiting downstairs. ‘Bags’ was sort of an understatement. She had twelve. She’d asked Mackenzie to come over and help her quickly the day before, before she left for Georgia to be with her family. Patrick wasn’t supposed to be home, he was supposed to be returning the day after Christmas. But he’d come home early, to ‘surprise’Madeline and caught her in the middle of leaving. She did believe that part of him loved her, through everything and that behind the mask of a monster was a good man.She just also believed that he was scared,lost, powerless,a coward.All things that made him feel he needed to control someone else. ‘ This is a mistake, you’ll see that Madeline. You need to come to your senses before this comes public and we have to find a way to fix it’. Madeline picked up her coat, pulling it on slowly. “ I’m smarter than you think I am, Patrick”. He laughed, holding onto his head, as though the idea that her having any realm of intelligence was inconceivable to him.She smiled slowly, “ You should turn the news on in a few minutes. There’s an announcement about your campaign that you’ll probably be interested in. Merry Christmas, baby” she said, dropping her key to the place on the table by the door before she buttoned up her coat and left, feeling her finger against her lip. That was the last thing she would ever let him break of hers again. The skin was sore, busted, bleeding, but she couldn’t help but smile, only making it worse. Madeline quickly pulled out a chapstick, walking carefully in her heels along the ice covered pavement. She waved at the cab driver. ’We’re not going far,” she said as she slid into the backseat. Ryan lived in the same neighborhood. She didn’t assume she would be moving in with him,but she figured he would at least let her stay the night.
Madeline pushed some of her hair behind her ear as she looked out of the window of the cab. She watched as a pair what looked like siblings tried to build a snowman out of the snow that had built up on the sidewalk, running up to the doorman of their building, somehow convincing him to lend them his scarf for the tiny snowman. Her mind flashed instantly to David, of the last Christmas they had spent together. He had seemed so warm, inviting,..happy. ‘ Merry Christmas, Madeline!’ he’d yelled, wrapping his arms around her tightly.He gave the best hugs in the entire world, always forcing Madeline to give into public display’s of affection, towards him. Those weren’t common in their family. She hugged her father, but to be honest she couldn’t count on her hand how many times she had seen him hug Joel or David, combined. David had always been so full of life. ’ Come on, I want to show you something’ he’d said, pulling Madeline by the hand outside. In South Africa it snowed, just during the months of July through August. Since they had traveled a lot as kids, Madeline had seen snow during December and always longed for it. She gasped as she had gotten outside, where David had set up a snow machine, covering their backyard with ‘fresh snow’for her to have. ”Oh my gosh..” she remembered saying, too taken back for words. ‘ Dad’s going to freak, but I think it’s worth it’. Madeline had laughed, shaking her head ”Worth it? I got you a stupid watch,” she said, before she reached over and hugged him again before running over to make a horrible example of a snowball. “ Should we get dad?”. Madeline laughed before forming a few snowballs. “ And Joel”. David had beat her inside, having already made what looked like a pail of snowballs. He was always a step ahead. But when they had gotten inside, their father was helping their mother in the kitchen, cooking. Their mother was really too adorable to try and aggravate so both her and David were trying to find ways to throw snowballs at their dad, inside the kitchen mind you which though it flustered their mother she didn’t actually punish them, while avoiding their mother and eachother.
Their father stood at the sink, ‘ That’s one’ he said, letting them hit him each with one snowball, to have their fun. But as he got hit with a second one he laughed, ‘ Alright, that’s two!” he grabbed the hose from the sink and sprayed them each with water. Madeline had laughed so hard, that she didn’t even try to catch herself from falling when she slid on some of the water that had landed on the slippery kitchen floor. She laid her head back against the floor, laughing at the entire exchange. Her father with makeshift snow in his hair from being hit, her mother trying to not seem annoyed but you could tell by how many times she was straightening the skirt of her dress that she would have rather had this happen outside, the crazed and playful look in David’s eyes at his attack on poor innocent Joel as he came into the kitchen to get some juice for the morning. ‘ Oh my gosh, you’re bleeding’ David had said urgently as he came running to Madeline’s side. She was still too busy laughing as she sat up to even care what he was talking about. ” Did you see his face?” she said, wiping tears of laughter away from her eyes as she gestured to both Joel and their father, talking about each of them. David had picked up her hand and was looking at it. “ Mads, seriously. You’re bleeding. Come on let’s clean it off”. Their father brushed the snow out of his hair and walked over to Madeline and David, helping him pick Madeline up, which really didn’t take that much work in the first place.
As she stood by the sink, listening to her mother carry on , on the phone with her own mother, about how rambunctious her children were being and making a horrid mess of her kitchen, Madeline smiled, trying to hold back another laughter as she winked at David. “ Best Christmas present, ever” she said in a whisper, nudging her hip against him. But David was too busy cleaning off her hand, looking intent. ‘ I’m so sorry,Madeline’. Madeline made a slight face and shrugged her shoulder. “ It really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even hurt. I promise, it was fun” she said, nodding at him. ‘No ..I’m sorry. I broke you, Mads’ he had said, seemingly disappointed in himself. Madeline looked at her dad, who was walking away ,probably to go sneak some scotch into his coffee since their mother was distracted and wouldn’t be able to give him a disappointed look. “ How did you break me?” she asked,not sure where David was going with this. She didn’t know what the look in his eyes had meant at the time, but now she knew. He already knew this was going to be his last Christmas. He was scared, lost. His decision had been made. ‘ Mads, … you are a doll to me,”. Madeline remembered laughing, shaking her head, “ Yeah you’re a doll, too, David”. He had shaken his head quickly, ‘ No, Madeline. You’re like a porcelain doll to me. You know those dolls I’m talking about? They’re beautiful. They’ve got this quality where they just… need to be taken care of. Promise me you won’t ever let anyone else ever break you. Promise me, Madeline”. The uneasy feeling had been in her stomach then but she nodded, “ I promise”. He had hugged her and she remembered their father standing in the doorway, drinking his coffee and scotch with a bemused expression on his face. Sometimes she dreamed of that moment, of wrapping her arms around David, of wishing she could go back, ask him to not break himself. She swore she could be in that moment now if she needed to, feeling the fabric of his sweater beneath her finger tips, the smell of his cologne and the tight feeling of his arms wrapped around her so protectively.
The sound of honking and people cursing at eachother outside of the cab brought Madeline back to the present day, where she looked down at her hands. She moved her gloves quickly and looked down at the inside of her thumb where her scar still was and smiled faintly. She traced her other thumb against the inside of it before she looked up, noticing that the car was stopping. Madeline pulled her gloves back on quickly and opened the door to her cab before she stepped out. She felt her phone vibrate on the inside of her coat and she reached inside, seeing her fathers name flash across the screen. She smiled, placing it between her shoulder and her ear as she answered it. “ Hello?” she said quickly, paying each of the taxi drivers. One which had carried her and a few of her bags, and the other which carried the rest of her things. ‘ We just saw something interesting on the news about your husband’. Madeline licked her lips as she headed up the steps to the building for Ryans apartment. “Soon to be ex-husband.. that announcement should be coming out soon but um,..what uh… what was it?” she asked trying to feign curiousity. ‘ Princess, you model lingerie. You’re not an actress. Don’t switch your career,’. Madeline laughed quietly, “ What did they say on the news?” she asked,now curious as to how Patrick would spin what she had done. ‘ Well apparently, some paperwork was sent from Patricks’ personal campaign office. He promised half of his campaign money as a donation to local womens abuse shelters. Interesting, isn’t it?”. Madeline mouthed thank you to someone as she propped the door open to Ryan’s building.”Well that seems oddly generous of him” she said, shaking her head at someone that was trying to help her bring her bags in. “ That’s okay, I got it. Thank you. Merry Christmas!” she smiled, waving at them before she started bringing her things into the entrance of Ryan’s building. ‘ Yes, it is. Quite uncharacteristic of him, might I add. You wouldn’t have had anything to do with that, would you princess?”. Madeline stopped as she looked around at her things. She put her hand over the speaker of her phone and ran over to the doorman. “Can you do me a favor? Taco Bell? Two double decker tacos, and keep the change” she said, holding out a hundred dollar bill to him. She smiled before she waved and went back to pulling her things in.
Madeline shut the door once she had brought all of her bags inside. “ People can be surprising during the holidays, dad. It can make people do things that others thought they never would,” she said, speaking about herself and how she had surprised not only Patrick, but herself as well. “ And um, gosh.. you know I’m not smart enough to pull something like that off,”. Madeline looked at the stairs and then the elevator before she started pushing her bags towards the elevator. Once they were all inside she had to sit on one of the bags just to have room to get in it as well. The doorman, who recognized her from being with Ryan, shook his head while laughing, waving at Madeline as the doors to the elevator shut. ‘ Good work, Madeline. I’m going to assume that you are either on your way to Ryan’s or at his place currently,’. Madeline looked around at the bags she had brought with her and clicked her tongue quietly, “ Yes,” she said,not wanting to lie to her father. ’ Well have merry Christmas eve. We’ll see you two kids in the morning. Everyone’s family is in town.. we should all meet. I’ll make your favorite waffles for breakfast and.. me and your mother can meet Ryan’s family,”. Madeline scrunched her nose, trying to decide if that was a good idea. ‘ He’s a good man, Madeline. He’s been fair, kind, patient. Be good to him, and you know he’ll be good to you”. Madeline smiled as the elevator doors opened, “ You sound like a groupie dad,” a snort came from the other end of the phone, ‘ Yeah, I’m about to get The Maine tattooed on my ass,’ Madeline laughed as she heard her mom gasp in the background, followed by David quickly apologizing. ‘Is that Ryan?!” she heard Joel yell in the background. “ No, just your sister’ she heard her father explain to Joel, “ Oh nevermind then” he said, probably going back to playing whatever xbox game he had convinced his parents to allow him to open for Christmas Eve. “Love him, too..” Madeline said as she rolled her eyes and started pushing her bags towards Ryans door. ‘ We’ll see you tomorrow,Madeline. Tell Ryan we say hello and Merry Christmas”. Madeline said her goodbyes quickly, hanging up before she finished pushing all of her bags in front of Ryans door. The doorman from before was upstairs quickly, bringing her the bag. ‘ Someone must really like tacos’ he said, giving her a small laugh before she smiled at him. “ You have no idea, thank you!” she said, waving at him before she looked at all of her things and held on tightly to the bag of food for Ryan.
Madeline looked at all twelve of her bags, standing in the middle of them and sighed tiredly. She took in a deep breath before she took her gloves off and reached up, forming her hand into a fist before she knocked against Ryans’ door. Ryan wasn’t just what she wanted for Christmas, he was what she wanted for everything. Forever. She loved him more than she had ever loved anything in her entire life. Even quiet moments alone with him, doing nothing but laying on the couch, laying outside on the roof and looking at the stars, listening to rain as it fell out of his bedroom window, were moments she wouldn’t trade for a single thing in the world. And tonight was theirs. She was leaving Patrick, and he knew it. He had to have known all along that she was never his, that she belonged to Ryan. She remembered the mistletoe quickly and pulled it out of her pocket, smiling down at it before she slipped her finger inside the ribbon wrapped tightly around it. On the other side of the door was the man that she loved more than anything in the entire world. He strengthened her family when they needed it the most. He was an amazing role model to her younger brother, and honestly there was a connection there that she was so thankful for. When Ryan had first come into their family, Joel had been so jealous of the relationship he had with their father. But over time they had built their own, and she knew that Ryan looked at Joel just as much as his younger brother, as Joel looked at him as his older brother. She’d done a lot of stupid things in her life, but Ryan was the best thing she’d ever done. Somehow he had fallen in love with her, too but she wasn’t going to question why anymore. Ryan was like freshly fallen snow. He made everything so beautiful, clean, like there was a new beginning. Every smile or time he wrapped his arms around her, felt like the start of something new. He was someone who taught her to fight back, to fight for what she wanted and to never let go. He was someone who taught her that being vulnerable didn’t mean being weak, and that it was never okay to let someone break you. She wouldn’t have needed to make that promise to David that Christmas, had she known Ryan then. He would never break her, never let her break herself. He’d help her keep the promise she made to him,and in turn she would promise to love him for the rest of her life. She knew that the real surprise would be for her to be there, but she still picked up the bag from Taco Bell and hid it behind her. She knew that some people would think it was extremely weird that she was bringing him tacos, but that’s where it sort of had all started with them. ‘Supermegatacos’. She smiled faintly as she thought back to that day in South Africa, the day she knew more than any other day before that, that she loved him. It was Christmas Eve,.. and she was his. And she had brought him tacos. She wanted the rest of their lives to be about making their own traditions.
Outfit
