Post by Scarlet Rose Harris on Jan 27, 2012 19:30:13 GMT -5
Scarlet ran her fingers delicately over the petals as she looked down at the cherry blossoms and gave a relaxed sigh. Everything she’d ever been afraid of, everything that ever crept into her thoughts and scared her away from the greatest thing in life was out of sight today. There wasn’t a single thing in the world that could ruin today, or any day after for that matter. It’d been so silly to be scared of something as beautiful as love. It would be worse to love someone and never have them, lose them completely. At least now she understood that she could love him, and have him before life threw any hardships their way. But even then, he’d never leave her. Not really, he’d always watch over her. Just like her family. So what had she really been scared of? Maybe it all came down to the fact that she never thought she was deserving of love.She hadn’t always been this way. She’d given Ryan valentines cards when they were kids. She’d written hearts around Logans name. Pretended to marry Shane at the swingset on the playground. Then things just spiraled, life became a bitch and suddenly she was this girl who was terrified of letting someone know she loved them because that created a possible risk of losing them. But the exact opposite had happened. She’d lost someone because she hadn’t told him she loved him in time. Scarlet looked down at the white fabric of her dress, tracing her hand over her stomach to just feel the softness of the material. After a few moments she looked up at Ryan before smiling faintly and looped her arm through his. He’d been so amazing since they were kids, and despite the one time they had treated each other as .. well, something other than friends, they’d always had that connection. He was one of her best friends and he’d always treated her with so much respect, more respect than she deserved. More respect than her father gave her, which is exactly why Ryan was standing there in his place.
The violins starting tipped her off, knowing that they were supposed to be walking, before she stood on her toes and gave Ryan a quick kiss, leaving the small stain of her lipstick across his cheek. Whatever, it would be cute for pictures. As they turned the corner created by the flowing white sheets that had been set up outside, she smiled as she turned and stepped foot onto the white carpet that had been laid out, covered with the same cherry blossoms she had been admiring just moments before. Her heart picked up a beat and she would swear on her life that she could feel the universe adjusting, right in this moment. This was right, this was where she belonged. This is who she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. He understood her in ways that other people just couldn’t fathom. He was everything she had ever waited for, not knowing that it had been there all along. She lifted her eyes from her bouquet and the smile that spread like fire to her lips quickly matched the sparkle in her eye as she looked at him dressed so nicely in his suit. Every disappointment that life had ever given her, every turn where she thought she was going to break down , and there he was. Looking just as magnificent as he did right now, as he always would. In that exact moment her life flashed before her eyes. First house, kids, vacations, each others successes, birthday parties, celebrations, holding his hand in the middle of a crowd, stealing kisses at any opportunity she could. And just like that it all stopped, focusing her attention back at him as she walked towards him, the man that had been there for her since she was a child. How many fairy-tales were written like that anymore? She handed her bouquet to Ryan, forgetting the etiquette of handing the flowers off to her maid of honor Mandi and instead stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck quickly as she pulled him close and kissed Logan as passionately as she could before the preacher gave a quiet cough. Though that didn’t stop her at first, resting her forehead against his own before she gave him another quick kiss and finally took a step back, wiping the edge of her lips where her lipstick had smeared. There was no denying it, he had part of her soul and without him she’d never be fully complete. There would always be a part of her missing without him.
Scarlet opened her eyes as the sound of the night woke her.New York, honking, cursing, people partying and laughing. Her heart ached immediately for that dream, to reach out and touch the soft skin of his face. She sat up gently, looking over and pushed her hair behind her ear as she looked at Zack laying beside her. She held her breath, doing everything she could to not make noise as she stood from the bed and made her way to the bathroom. After she shut the door slowly she pressed her back against the door and slid down to the ground, bringing her knees up to her chest as she pressed her hands against her face and tried to silence the sound of sobs into her hands. How could she have ruined things for herself so badly. Every time Logan kissed Blake, placed his hand on her lower back, smiled at her. It was like she could feel a knife literally stabbing into her heart. More often than not she found some way to distract herself, picking up plates, hurrying off to the kitchen, to the bathroom, anywhere. But the pain still lingered, the feeling like her heart was bleeding out into her body and giving out every attempt to even continue beating. Scarlet sniffled quietly before she lifted her head up and wiped the back of her hand against her tears. She took in a few deep breaths before she placed her hands on her knees and stood up, walking unsteadily over to the medicine cabinet. Her hands reached shakily as she looked through everything on the shelves, settling on a bottle of sleeping pills. Well, technically they were anxiety pills that she’d been given by her doctor so that she would quit hopping on planes and running away from her problems every time she felt anxious. But they pretty much knocked you out on your ass. She just wanted one more night. One more chance to fall asleep. One more opportunity to tell him she loved him, that she wanted him, even if that meant giving him everything that he wanted. She poured an undetermined number of pills into her palm, not stopping to count them or how many she was supposed to take before she put them into her mouth and swallowed them dry. She placed her hands on the side of the sink, letting the bottle with the remaining pills fall down to the side as she tried to catch her breath through her sobs. She closed her eyes tightly, clinging her fingers around the marble of the counter until her knuckles turned white. After a few minutes she took in a deep breath and looked back in the mirror, wiping away the eyeliner that had smeared under her eyes and sniffed one last time before trying to cough to clear out her throat. She licked her lips, looking in the mirror at the girl she never thought she would become. Scarlet ran her hand through her hair, smoothing it down from where she had clung to it when she had been sitting down. Finally she shut the light off and opened the door, making her way back under her sheets as she waited for her pills to kick in, for the sleep to take her where she should have put herself a long time ago.
The violins starting tipped her off, knowing that they were supposed to be walking, before she stood on her toes and gave Ryan a quick kiss, leaving the small stain of her lipstick across his cheek. Whatever, it would be cute for pictures. As they turned the corner created by the flowing white sheets that had been set up outside, she smiled as she turned and stepped foot onto the white carpet that had been laid out, covered with the same cherry blossoms she had been admiring just moments before. Her heart picked up a beat and she would swear on her life that she could feel the universe adjusting, right in this moment. This was right, this was where she belonged. This is who she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. He understood her in ways that other people just couldn’t fathom. He was everything she had ever waited for, not knowing that it had been there all along. She lifted her eyes from her bouquet and the smile that spread like fire to her lips quickly matched the sparkle in her eye as she looked at him dressed so nicely in his suit. Every disappointment that life had ever given her, every turn where she thought she was going to break down , and there he was. Looking just as magnificent as he did right now, as he always would. In that exact moment her life flashed before her eyes. First house, kids, vacations, each others successes, birthday parties, celebrations, holding his hand in the middle of a crowd, stealing kisses at any opportunity she could. And just like that it all stopped, focusing her attention back at him as she walked towards him, the man that had been there for her since she was a child. How many fairy-tales were written like that anymore? She handed her bouquet to Ryan, forgetting the etiquette of handing the flowers off to her maid of honor Mandi and instead stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck quickly as she pulled him close and kissed Logan as passionately as she could before the preacher gave a quiet cough. Though that didn’t stop her at first, resting her forehead against his own before she gave him another quick kiss and finally took a step back, wiping the edge of her lips where her lipstick had smeared. There was no denying it, he had part of her soul and without him she’d never be fully complete. There would always be a part of her missing without him.
Scarlet opened her eyes as the sound of the night woke her.New York, honking, cursing, people partying and laughing. Her heart ached immediately for that dream, to reach out and touch the soft skin of his face. She sat up gently, looking over and pushed her hair behind her ear as she looked at Zack laying beside her. She held her breath, doing everything she could to not make noise as she stood from the bed and made her way to the bathroom. After she shut the door slowly she pressed her back against the door and slid down to the ground, bringing her knees up to her chest as she pressed her hands against her face and tried to silence the sound of sobs into her hands. How could she have ruined things for herself so badly. Every time Logan kissed Blake, placed his hand on her lower back, smiled at her. It was like she could feel a knife literally stabbing into her heart. More often than not she found some way to distract herself, picking up plates, hurrying off to the kitchen, to the bathroom, anywhere. But the pain still lingered, the feeling like her heart was bleeding out into her body and giving out every attempt to even continue beating. Scarlet sniffled quietly before she lifted her head up and wiped the back of her hand against her tears. She took in a few deep breaths before she placed her hands on her knees and stood up, walking unsteadily over to the medicine cabinet. Her hands reached shakily as she looked through everything on the shelves, settling on a bottle of sleeping pills. Well, technically they were anxiety pills that she’d been given by her doctor so that she would quit hopping on planes and running away from her problems every time she felt anxious. But they pretty much knocked you out on your ass. She just wanted one more night. One more chance to fall asleep. One more opportunity to tell him she loved him, that she wanted him, even if that meant giving him everything that he wanted. She poured an undetermined number of pills into her palm, not stopping to count them or how many she was supposed to take before she put them into her mouth and swallowed them dry. She placed her hands on the side of the sink, letting the bottle with the remaining pills fall down to the side as she tried to catch her breath through her sobs. She closed her eyes tightly, clinging her fingers around the marble of the counter until her knuckles turned white. After a few minutes she took in a deep breath and looked back in the mirror, wiping away the eyeliner that had smeared under her eyes and sniffed one last time before trying to cough to clear out her throat. She licked her lips, looking in the mirror at the girl she never thought she would become. Scarlet ran her hand through her hair, smoothing it down from where she had clung to it when she had been sitting down. Finally she shut the light off and opened the door, making her way back under her sheets as she waited for her pills to kick in, for the sleep to take her where she should have put herself a long time ago.
