[Logan] I Just Wanna Be Bad Enough For You

[Katy Alexis Sutton]

Kat reached over and took the last remaining fries off of Logan’s fries and chewed at them as he was talking to her about everything that was going on. Blake, Scarlet, Joel…. Blake,Scarlet,Joel,Blake,Scarlet,Joel. Dude was living in a spiral of shittines. She narrowed her eyes and scrunched her nose. She DID want to sympathize for him based on the fact that he was one of her best friends in the entire world. Kat finished chewing the fries and swallowed them before the took in a deep breath and sighed. “ It genuinely sucks ass that you are in love with two girls who are so ridiculously different aside from their blonde locks. And.. I can’t even believe what is going on with Joel, seeing him at the hospital today was so…” she started but shook her head and looked down at the table. It was definitely something that effected everyone in their ‘group’. As much as people like her and Shane wanted to say that they didn’t blend into clicques… they really did. Each of them fit a special role in their group that just couldn’t be replaced. “ Pity party over?” she asked, lifting her eyebrow as she looked over at Logan. “ Good,” she said, drying her hands off on the napkin sitting beside her plate. Then she proceeded to do something no one in their group would have ever expected Kat Sutton of all people to do. She lifted her hand into the air and smacked it firmly against Logan’s cheek as hard as she could.

“ Satisfied with yourself, Romeo?” she asked as she sat back and rested the back of her arm against her chair. “ It’s not that I don’t feel sorry for you… you just seriously can’t act like this anymore, Logan. Look at you. Legitimately fucking look at yourself. Logan goddamn Renner. That name means something now. You aren’t some highschool senior sticking it in whatever pair of legs would open up for him. You started a label. Your name is respected. You need to start making your character be respected, too” she said shaking her head slightly. Logan had been a lot of things to her. Best friend, prom date, boss. She’d stand by his side through anything. And he was a lot more grown up than he used to be, but he still had some development left he needed to work on. Didn’t they all? She scratched the edge of her jaw as she thought about her own maturity. She was on tour with her ex right now and it was going pretty well. Aside from an instance or two where she had cuddled up next to Shane out of habbit. Flyzik to the rescue. Flyzik… she wanted so badly to tell Mackenzie about him. It’d been forever since she’d gotten butterflies around a guy and boy did he give them to her. She grinned like an idiot, only paid half attention to Shane when he was speaking and Flyzik was around. In the words of Usher she had it bad. Sometimes he spoke to her or got this cute little smile and she swore she just smiled, not even processing what he was saying. He could tell her that her grandma was dying and she’d just grin. Plus he had this habit where he played with his lip ring when he was in deep concentration and looking down at his paperwork. How many times had she been staring at him when Shane would yell at her for help on the videogame they were playing? She wanted to talk to someone about him. It was kind of a big deal that she had a crush on someone. She’d only had one serious boyfriend, Shane. So the fact that she even got butterflies about someone was a big deal. He made her almost.. . girly… But now wasn’t the right time to bring it up with Logan. Instead she puffed her cheeks out and looked at him, “I can already tell by the course of this direction, you’re paying for lunch.” she said, stopping the waiter as he passed, “ Excuse me, I need like five sundaes.” she said, offering a small smile before she sat back in her chair. She had come for one purpose, to see Logan during his sad times. But she was also looking forward to getting back to tour. To Shane, and maybe Flyzik a little bit.

[Logan Chase Renner]

"Yeah so I friggin didn't know what to do because i love Blake but I love Scarlet and i felt like my mind was cheating on Blake just thinking about Scarlet and I was like, that's not even fair to Blake, she deserves all of me not just half and I can't get rid of this Scarlet thing, I know its not gonna just go away. I have to like, deal with it and see if I'm what if-ing for a reason or if we should both move on, but we can't decide either unless we give us a chance. But it was like, I can't give Scarlet a chance and be married to Blake, i refuse to do that, I'd never cheat on Blake. So the only solution was to separate from Blake, which was how we ended up divorced. But I obviously still care about her because I;m still like, I hope I didn't hurt her. But I don't want to hurt Scarlet either. She's been sitting waiting for this and I don't know how to just rip myself away from her again, or that I even want to." He took a massive breath and held it for a second before letting it all out in one huge gust. And then continued, "And I don't even know what to do about Joel. I mean we have benefit concerts planned, I got his EP ready to go, parts of his DVD happening... but he's just not here. it sucks." He sat back staring at Kat as she said she pretty much got it and then so his surprise, asked him if he was done pitying himself and smacked him across the faced. As if that wasn't getting reality smacked into you, he didn't know what was. he looked at her in shock and frowned angrily, "Are you fucking shitting me Sutton? What the FUCK?" but before he could even get mad he just started laughing, shaking and held onto the table. She was right, he sounded like a fucking girl with drama and he was acting like such a fucking dick. Yeah he was done pitying himself, ready to hear what Kat had to say.

And she was so right. "No you're right, I've been acting like such a prick. High school shit, I thought I was past that stage. I gotta start acting like an adult." He thought for a moment, watching as the waiter brought Kat more ice cream. "That's the thing though, they are so different, Scarlet and Blake. And they're both such different stages of my life, but I'm such an indecisive confused asshole, that i love them both, which by the way thanks for being my senior prom date and not being an easy lay. You never did egg on my assholeishness. Like now." He laughed, shaking his head,"Sometimes though, I think to myself, if I can't decide, maybe I don't deserve either of them, like maybe I should just be single and focus on work and Kenzie right now. Just be a good boss, good dad. I don't know. Is this enough ice cream to fuel your thoughts or does the fortune teller need more tokens in the slot?"

[Katy Alexis Sutton]

Kat only smiled as Logan became furious with her. Honestly there wasn’t a chance in hell he was going to stay mad so she didn’t get herself worked up. And just like that he was mellowed out again. She puffed out her cheeks and sighed. “ Keep your tokens away from my slot” she said as she poked her spoon into her ice cream. “ I do need more syrup though,” she said glumly before she shook her head. “ Not the point.. Okay..” she narrowed her eyes as she looked at Logan and folded her arms so that her elbows were on the table. “ I see what you’re getting at, but don’t give me this ‘ I just need to be single for a while’ bullshit. Your thought behind it all makes sense, seems respectable. You’re forgetting I know exactly where you came from, and how you became the person you are today. Being single isn’t going to solve anything for you, or make your decision anymore clear. You already know who the right woman for you is, otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting here wondering how and if you’ve hurt Blake and in what way.”. Kat licked the edge of her lip and groaned, “ I don’t even know why I’m going to go into detail with this..” she said as she debated whether or not she should bring up a subject that most of her friends avoided with her.. Shane.

“ Look, .. I thought I loved Shane. Honest to God thought I did. But then I saw him with .. Claire.” she said, coughing uncomfortably as she adjusted in her seat. “ I saw him with Claire and I knew.. just by how they were interacting, the look in his eyes, the way she looked at him. I may have thought I loved him. And maybe I did for a small time. But he is happy. With her.. he is happier with her than he ever was with me. And that’s okay. They’re meant for each other. At that time in my life I was so.. so so happy to have him. And maybe being with me taught him something about relationships, maybe I was what he needed to be ready for something real and lasting. And Scarlet… think back, Logan. Before this whole bomb dropped with Zach.. was she happy? Did she look like she had moved on? ….Did you?”. Kat watched him carefully as she spoke before spotting the waiter in her peripheral vision. “ I NEED CHOCOLATE SYRUP!” she yelled out excitedly before she grinned, adding a please quietly to the end of her frantic screaming.

[Logan Chase Renner]

Logan rested his forearms on the table deciding where exactly he wanted to dig his spoon into her sundae to steal a bite, listening to her thoughts on his hell of a situation. He took a bite of her ice cream but swallowed hard, coughing into his napkin whens he said she thought he already knew who he wanted and was supposed to be with. Hearing it out loud made it so much more real, made his heart hurt in ways he didn't think it could all at once. If he was really meant to be with Blake, he was bummed that they'd gotten divorced for what seemed like himself being over dramatic or something. But hurting all at the same time because he couldn't bear the thought of hurting Scarlet when she'd already been through so much and if he hurt her, who would rescue her? That was what he did, but if he hurt her he couldn't be that person. He understood what Kat meant when she said she thought she loved Shane at some point, but realized it was nothing in comparison to his relationship with Claire. Logan nodded, "Yeah I mean, before the whole blow up with Zach, I mean, I was questioning things on my end, but she really did look happy with him. It took her a little while to get there, but it seemed like she had... but then as soon as he wasn't what she thought he was, she got scared and came to me. I can't help that I'm that person, like, I've always been that person since we were kids." Logan paused, finally coming to terms with what he thought could quite possibly be the root to this whole thing.


"Kat, I really honestly loved Scarlet. Like I grew up with her, she was my first everything, if she'd been all for it n high school I could have sealed the deal then and there, i was so over he moon for her. But the fact is, I wasn't just her boyfriend, you know? I was the person that rescued her from everything, her family, school, all her problems, herself...." he shook his head, "I've spent my entire life rescuing her. Picking up the pieces every single time she fell apart. I think I'll always love her you know? I mean do you really stop loving people completely? I'll always have that place for her but like, I moved on. And I really thought I was happy, and things were good, and she seemed like she had moved on, I just had that small what if. You know what made everything crash down? The fact that as soon as she crumbled, and she needed rescuing, I had to do it. Because that's what I do. I don't know how to not rescue her, does that make sense? Like I'm afraid somewhere that if I don't know one will. So its on me to make sure she's okay, because I've done that my whole life and it's just what I do. it never really occurred to me that she was happy with Zach, maybe she had made that transition, maybe he had become that person, until what happened with him and then who did she turn to? Me."


"It's not that I mind being that person, You know I'd be there in a second if she needed me, but it just took be all this time to realize that I had moved on, she was close to moving on and then one thing reversed all the progress we made. I think... I know what I'm getting at. And i just...don't want to admit it."

[Katy Alexis Sutton]

Kat watched as Logan stole a bite of her ice cream and then continued to dig her own spoon inside of the delicious frozen dessert. He could have whatever he wanted, he was paying for it after all. She listened as Logan spoke and gave a small nod. She didn’t want to say what was on her mind. She didn’t want to tell him that she thought Scarlet was the girl for him. She’d known him since high school, she had seen him with both girls. She knew that everyone had grown up and that they were different, but she also knew that she was worried about Logan. With Blake it seemed like he had sort of lost a part of himself, that spark that made him Logan Renner: The Unattainable Hot Guy that he had once been. Blake had changed him for the better in a lot of ways, but she sort of looked at him as the dad of the group now. With Scarlet he seemed more youthful, while still carrying on his responsibilities. But who was she to say what was better? And besides, that’s just how she saw things. But only Logan knew how each girl effected him. Kat set her spoon down and leaned back in the booth, bringing one of her knees up to her chest before she wrapped her arms around her leg lazily.

“ Logan.. you’ve always been a man that knows what you want. But.. maybe you just need to be the man that knows what he needs now,” she said looking over at one of her best friends. It was hard being away when there was so much going on, especially when she felt that she and Logan had one of the most laid back friendships in the group. There was absolutely no awkwardness between them at all considering they would never have considered sleeping with one another and were just comfortable being themselves – as opposingly different as they were. “ You know what you want, you know what you need… you’re the guy that walks into chaos, finds the solution and then executes it. Do that.. it’s what you do best. You know what you have to do, you know that prolonging it isn’t going to be good for anyone.” she said before she stood up and came over to his side of the booth and slid in next to him and wrapped her arms around him in a hug as she laid her head against his chest.

[Logan Chase Renner]

Logan nodded in agreement, "Yeah, I know what I want. I know I do. I've always known what it was I wanted, still do. I knew what I wanted when i said 'I do'. I really don't think anything has changed. Except that I was living two lives, you know? I was being two different guys for two different people, what two different people needed." He paused, "I don't think Scarlet needs me anymore. And I'm okay with that. I just don't think she sees that. I think... I was what she needed at that time in her life, but now I think she's at a different place in her life. She needs something else. Zach was, really that something else." Logan sat back, setting his spoon down, "I just have to find a way to tell Scarlet I think she moved on with out even realizing it, and we were both holding onto to something that like, isn't... anymore.The part that sucks is, I know when I walk out that door, it could very well be for the last time. I don't think she'll want anything to do with me. Isn't that half the problem? Knowing deep down all along that things were kind of over before they started, but not wanting to end things because once you end it, its... done." He shook his head, "I know it has to be done though. I can't go forward without closing that door. Blake deserves to have that door closed." Logan thanked the waiter when the bill was brought over, handing him his debit card. "You know, being two different guys for two different people is exhausting. I don't even know who I am anymore. Like, when was the last time I did anything fun? When was the last time i got drunk, pranked someone, had a jam session, I can't even remember when I smoked pot last. The last fun thing I can think of was yesterday when I was playing with Kenzie but that's dad stuff. Not that that's a bad thing, it isn't. Just like, at what point did I just become dad/husband/boss to all these people, and stop being Logan? Weird." It was so weird. back in Malibu, before he'd gotten so serious and focused, he had been such a fun person, so on top of the world. Now he just felt like half of the guy he had been. Like he forgot to act like him self. A walking travesty, as Shane would say.

[Katy Alexis Sutton]

Kat smiled as she looked over at Logan and gave just a small nod of her head. " well it looks like you can finally live your life without the horrible gloom of what if hanging over your head " . It didn't really matter who she thought was best for Logan or what anyone else thought for that matter. She knew that once he officially made his mind up he would be the most amazing man to either of them. The hardest part was just coming to the decision. But that was the thing about Logan. He might be a dick and a slut and all of these things. But when he decided he wanted something, he went after it no matter what was in his way until he got it. So at this point it didn't even matter how Blake felt and Kat knew it. Logan wanted her and with his ambition and drive eventually she would be his. -- -- Kat stood up from her side of the booth an stretched her arms out over her head. Now that Logan seemed to have figured things out for himself a bit she felt better about leaving him here while she went on tour. She hated the idea of him being here and not being able to confide in someone yet. Because whether people understood it or not, Logan and Kat had this strange relationship. But they weren't the only ones. Look at Dani and Ryan. That girl went to him about everything. The short little Latina and the tall lanky guy were close. Weird right? " now that that's taken care of thank god, maybe you can help me figure out how to score me a Flyzik" she said, placing her arm inside of Logans as he walked away.