[Claire, Ethan] Paint Yourself a Picture

[Shane Alexander Madden]

Shane set Brayden down beside him on the couch, putting the couch pillows around him so he stayed in one spot. Being a parent wasn’t so bad. Yes it was difficult at times, tiring. He’d called his mom a few times with quick questions, mostly just, am I doing this right, type of things. But beyond that it was common sense things. If he cried, Shane just ran through the list, when was the last time you changed his diaper, fed him, when was the last time he slept? Most of the time it was something on that list. Other than that, Brayden was a pretty easy baby. Or maybe it was just because it was easy to be happy if you weren’t tired, hungry, or had shit in your pants. Like right now, Brayden had just woken up from a nap, Shane had changed his diaper, and it wasn’t time to feed him. And Brayden wasn’t acting hungry anyways. So he was just laying there like the happy baby he was, and Shane was writing a song with his guitar, notebook on the coffee table in front of him. He played a little bit and then glanced at Brayden, “What do you think dude, writing this one about mommy. Is it acceptable?” Brayden looked at him and made a noise. Yup sounded like he approved. Shane hadn’t been writing a lot on the road but now that he was back, besides watching Brayden when Claire was out of the house, or in between laser tag, he had a lot of time on his hands. And Shane only ever sat down and wrote songs when they came to him, and he usually could write it in one sitting. Which was what was going on right now. He scanned over his notebook, looking at the words he had written. Paint yourself a picture… hide behind the messes… In all of my obsessing to find the perfect words, I’m sick of second guessing, I didn’t mean to make you hurt… That had been quite a conversation. It wasn’t that Shane had purposely tried to upset her, and yes, he had mulled it over constantly, trying to figure out the right way to tell her he didn’t like what she was doing. But what guy would like that his girlfriend and mother of his child was starving herself? Did she think he didn’t notice? He couldn’t not say anything to her, but then it had just upset her.

Break another mirror, to keep away the stares, of another guilty reflex, a reflection left in tears… some days he didn’t know where the words came from, but today they were all so real. But this was exactly how they did things. It didn’t matter if they fought, it didn’t matter how it started, it had to always end the same, you are my only one. That was how he felt, and that was what he told her when he found her packing her things. She didn’t realize how long it’d taken him to get there. Didn’t know how long he thought he’d end up single forever, thinking he was only good enough for himself. That he wasn’t good for another person. But he was good for Claire, and she was good for him. You’re all I know… Shane was shaken from his thoughts when he heard the doorbell ring. He set his guitar down on the cushion beside him and then scooped up Brayden and headed for the door. They weren’t expecting anyone and his mom wasn’t coming until much later around dinner time. Shane saw two figures through the glass and furrowed his eyebrows, opening the door. He looked at the man and woman, not sure who they were, but he shifted Brayden in his arms, asking, “Hi, can I help you with something…?” The woman answered curtly, “Where’s Clarissa?” “Uhh,” “We’re her parents, but that’s right, you wouldn’t know that.” The man replied when Shane failed to provide and answer. “And you must be the… boyfriend.” Shane decided now would be a good time to respond, “Yes. Sir..” was it correct to be all yes sir, yes mam right now? “Um… please come in,” he said, stepping aside so they could come through the doorway, shutting the door behind them. “So where is Clarissa?” “Oh, she’s at ballet rehearsal, she usually gets home…” he looked around at the clock on the DVD player, “in about a half an hour. But… make yourselves at home. Do either of you want something to drink?” They both replied negative, so Shane just followed them into the living room, moving his guitar so there was room for everyone to sit down. After they were all sitting, and the awkward silence had gotten the best of all of them, Claire’s mom asked calmly, “Is that her child?” Shane opened his mouth to respond, yes it is, or, yes he’s also mine, what sounded best? “Yeah, he’s ours.” Maybe it didn’t sound ‘best’ but it sounded right to him. “And what’s his name?” “Brayden…” Shane paused for a moment. Okay this was Claire’s mom. She was a female, females loved babies. And this was Brayden’s grandma, maybe Brayden could save the day simply by being a cute baby, “… did you want to hold him, umm…?” Claire’s mom thought for a moment, but Shane could tell that she did, “Miranda, that’s Ethan. And yes, I’d like that.” “That’s Mr. Fox to you.” Claire’s dad had been awfully quiet so far. He probably hated Shane. “You know what, I’m going to go call Claire, maybe she could get out of rehearsal early…” more like he was praying she would. He called Claire from the kitchen but it went straight to voice mail, so he left her a text telling her to call straight away or some home straight away. Then he texted Ethan, “Bro, guess who is not here? Claire. Guess who is? Your parents.”

Shane headed back to the living room, basically preparing himself for any and all questions he was about to get. Shane sat down again, relieved to see her mom was in fact, occupied with the kid. But her father was not so distracted, “What in the hell are you guys thinking trying to do this alone at such a young age?” Shane tried to answer, “Well, I wouldn’t say we’re alo-“ “You should have included us, you started a family, but you’re both already apart of one. Didn’t you think your families would want to know what was going on?” Shane didn’t have the heart to tell him his parents had known all along. “We thought Ethan’s other friend had knocked her up, we didn’t even know who you were. We had to look up your music. Tell me, was she a casual fuck?” “What? No…” “No? Isn’t that just how you operate?” This was crazy. How could they possibly even understand that that was just a song, had nothing to do with Claire. He’d written that song before he’d ever met Claire. There was no way they would understand how he and Claire felt about each other, they had already made their judgments about the situation. It was going to take a lot of time and understanding before they changed their view of him. Claire’s dad looked like he was going to say something, but her mom cut him off, “Ethan, look, he looks like Clarissa. He looks just like her…” Shane couldn’t keep the tiny smile off his face, “Yeah, he definitely does…” “Okay, you know, let’s just… wait until Clarissa gets here. That might be… easier on all of us,” Miranda said cautiously, looking between Shane and her husband. Yeah, maybe. But Shane wasn’t sure how much small talk they could handle until Claire did get there.

[Claire Jayne Madden]

Claire tried to catch her breath as she placed her hands on her hips and moved across the studio, bending her leg as she placed her right foot into pointe and then rolled her ankle. ‘ Great,.. you did great today, Claire.’ Carter said and Claire gave a tired smile. Ever since she started as a principal in the company she had helped Carter get a job as a choreographer. Why not, he had trained her to become what she was. ‘ You going to tell me what’s been on your mind?’ he asked and Claire brought her eyes up to him, giving him a facial ‘yeah right’, before she stretched her arms out over her head and walked over to her belongings. Shane had been sort of disapproving about her methods regarding ballet. There was no way he could understand. Besides, when she looked at herself all she could see was still fat. Which speaking of, she looked up and glanced in the mirror at the way that her tank hung away from her skin, when it used to fit against it so perfectly. Okay, so maybe she had lost a little more than she expected, so? Her payoff was working pretty well in rehearsals. ‘ Alright well be back at 6 am alright?” he asked and instead of giving him a verbal confirmation, Claire just smiled. Maybe Shane couldn’t watch Brayden. And she was sort of wanting to spend the morning in with Shane and Brayden, their little family. Claire looked down at her phone and turned it on for a quick second. She had turned it off because the battery was draining, but it only lit up long enough to tell her that her battery was in fact dead before it shut off completely. “ Awesome,” she said to herself before she tossed it into her bag and headed out of the studio.

Claire laid her head back against the back seat of the cab as she waited during the drive home. A lot of what Shane had said really did stick with her though. Even now she was absentmindedly tracing her fingertips into the grooves of her stomach where it was sinking in and she could feel her ribs. She pulled her hand away, looking up at the home that he had bought for their family. “ Thanks,” she said quietly before she paid him and made her way inside. Okay, so her and Shane fought. And no, she never had a real relationship before so she wasn’t sure how it was supposed to work. When they fought, she thought that meant he was leaving her. But apparently they were just staying together.. but they both knew that something was bothering them? So weird. But honestly, what in the hell would she do without him? But it came down to the fact that they still loved each other, right? Claire opened the front door, dropping her stuff down at the side. She loved him, he loved her. So if she needed a little tension relief, that’s what he was for, right? I mean she had done it for him plenty of times. Lil Wayne could certainly profit off what went down in their household. “ Babe! I know that we’re in the middle of.. whatever is going on between us,” she started off as she made her way inside, pulling her tank top up off of her body, “ But the fact of the matter is I had a tense day and you need to take your pants off,” she said before she pulled the fabric off of over her head and froze, looking at her parents sitting in her living room with her arms stuck in the air with her tank top keeping them bound together. “ ….. Hello,” she said before she gave an uncomfortable laugh and tried to awkwardly pull her tank top back on in the tense position she was in. After smoothing it over her stomach she looked at her mom holding Brayden, Shane staring at her, and her father staring at Shane.

‘ You have a son,’ her father started off and Claire held in her breath before she opened it again. What exactly had Shane said already? She closed her mouth and instead smiled. ‘ Were you planning on telling us …ever?’ her mother asked and Claire spoke quietly as she responded, “ I’ve been… reeeally busy”. Her father continued to stare at her with a hard set expression which Dalton had surely learned from him. Alright new approach, Fox. “ Hi daddy,” she said before she placed on a smile and walked over to wrap her arms around him in a hug as he stayed in a seated position. He sat still for a moment before he lifted his hand and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. ‘ Clarissa, you have to tell us what is going on,’ he said and Claire straightened up, pushing her bangs from her face. ‘ When did you find out… why didn’t you tell us,… and are you two actually living together?” she asked and Claire immediately brought her hand up, pointing at her mother. “ This is exactly why I didn’t say anything. Shane and I are perfectly happy with our living situation. I PROMISE you that marriage is the FARTHEST thing from either of our minds and I mean you know what… for shame. For shame on both of you for thinking that makes him any less of a father. Because Shane Madden is nothing if not a great father. In fact I can’t even believe that you would try to sugge-“ she said before she was interrupted by her mother. ‘ Darling,.. what is his middle name?” she asked causing Claire to adjust awkwardly, “ Oh… Shane..” she said, blinking at them as she looked at Brayden. It felt so weird being in the house this long and not holding him yet.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

So another twenty minutes went by, Shane trying his best to make small talk without spilling all the beans without Claire. It really was her place to explain all this to them, not his. He was just trying to answer their questions without throwing Claire under the bus. Like how old was Brayden, when did he and Claire meet, mostly questions from her mom. Shane didn’t think her dad really cared how they met, probably just wished they hadn’t. For a few minutes Shane even took Miranda upstairs to show her the nursery because she asked to see it, which she was confused by at first, until she asked about it. “Yeah… Batman is kind of my thing.” He shrugged. “Cute,” she responded, looking around at the little things in Brayden’s room. “This is cute hat,” “I thought so too,” “You picked this?” “Uh… yeah.” “Hm…” Shane wasn’t sure she knew what to think of him. Maybe she had been expecting him to be a complete asshole. And she wouldn’t give Brayden back, so Shane thought that was a good sign that she had taken to the kid so well. They went back downstairs and Shane ended up bring out something to drink. He thought that was how you were supposed to treat guests. Just because he was in a band didn’t mean he didn’t have manners. After some time, they heard the front door open, “That must be Claire,” he said, relieved, sort of. He heard her making her way toward the living room, cringing at what she was saying. “Claire?” he said, trying to get her to stop talking, but she was already in the room, shirt half off and telling him to drop his pants. Too late. And of course, Claire tried getting around it, but they were asking questions and demanding answers. Had she not gotten his message, or his text? Because she was caught off guard for sure. And Shane wasn’t sure how exactly he could help, the most help he could get was distract them until she got there. But Claire was already upset, defending him. Saying how great of a dad he was, which actually made him feel really good that she thought so. He could just hug her right now. He was however, thinking to himself that marriage actually wasn’t the farthest thing from his mind, but he wondered if she only said that because she thought that he wasn’t thinking about it at all, when on the contrary, he had been on a wild goose chase trying to find that ring. Claire’s mom stopped her, asking what Brayden’s middle name was. She told her mom is was Shane. Shane himself felt goofily proud of it, but her parents seemed to absorb it. They probably didn’t understand why she would give the kid his name unless things were serious.

Miranda seemed to tell Claire was feeling weird not holding Brayden, so she handed him over. It was obvious though, just that probably granted her some relief. She’d been away from him all day after all. Shane reached up and took her arm, getting her to sit down with Brayden. This really was stressful on all of them, but the least he could do was stand behind her. And he couldn’t tell her how much he appreciated what she’d told her parents about him. Even if it were true, it still meant a lot that it came from her, not him trying to convince them. Shane wrapped his arm around her waist, rubbing her back. They were a team, at least, they needed to be right now. Sure they’d been in a fight of sorts, or had been at odds when she left today, but at the moment that had to be put aside. They couldn’t be at odds right now. “Well, that is all fine and dandy,” her father said, looking at Shane pointedly, “But if you’re going to be in my daughter’s life with our grandchild, you are getting married.” Shane stared back, he wasn’t afraid of that. Not anymore he wasn’t. Lucky for Mr. Fox, that was already in the plans, but he didn’t need to know that. “Fine.”

[Claire Jayne Madden]

Claire smiled down at Brayden as she was finally able to hold him again, and scooped her arm around him carefully as Shane took her other arm to have her sit down. She kept her eyes down on Brayden, touching her fingertip against his nose as she felt Shane’s hand against her back. They really were a little family, and it felt odd that her parents were sitting in her living room right now. But when she heard her father talking to Shane about marriage and commitments she looked up, staring between the two of them after Shane had responded with ‘Fine’. Fine? He had said fine ? If they were going to lie about getting married he could at least pretend that he was enthusiastic about it. Fine sounded so mundane. Fine. “ Fine,” she said as well, before looking back down at Brayden. They could discuss his fake enthusiasm later. No sense in arguing about it right now. ‘ You’re wasting away..’ her mother said and Claire let out a small sigh. Seriously, people. Was that song not getting old? “No mom. I’m not. I’m just focusing on my career.” she said like a broken record that just continuously kept repeating the same thing to defend herself. ‘ Between the teenage pregnancy, your clear to see incapability to provide good nutrition for yourself, and the… school shooting… that we read about, maybe it’s best if you and Shane come to Australia for a while. Things seem to be a little out of control for you,” her father said, finally glancing over towards Brayden, which Claire could only assume was for the first time seeing as how stiff he was being right now.

“ We’re not going to Australia,” she said as though that was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard of. But just then the sound of the door opened again and she looked at Shane wondering who in the hell that could possibly be when she saw Ethan’s tall figure come into the room. ‘ Hey what’s going on?’ he said, staring between all of them with a slight look of worry before he went over and greeted their mother, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek before he went and sat down by their dad. “ Well apparently Shane and I are getting married and going to Australia,” Claire said with a sarcastic tone of happiness. She watched as Ethan gave a nod, ‘ Dad, maybe you and I could speak privately for a moment,’ he said as he stood up, but their father remained seated, staring up at him. ‘ Where in the hell were you and Dalton?” he asked and Ethan made a slight face. ‘ Well we weren’t in the room when it happened.. teenage kids are like cats. You can’t wrangle them in all the time.. you guys are acting like this is the worst thing in the world that could have happened. Look how beautiful Brayden is” he said, gesturing to his nephew. ‘ No, we’re acting like we have a grandchild that everyone had almost a year to tell us about but chose not to,’ he said and Ethan looked down, licking his lips. ‘ Look.. emotions are a little tense. We should try to focus on the positive.’ he said before her father stood up, ‘ And not only that but you introduced Claire to Shane, yeah? And what about that Owen boy? If we had known you weren’t watching your sister and were just passing her around to your frie-“ he had said but Ethan’s face was now entirely red, probably with anger, as he shouted back. “ Where in the hell were you?”. But just like that the door was opening again. “Oh good God,” Claire said, as she watched Shane’s mother come through the door and sighed, resting her back against the couch. All she wanted was to come home and get laid after a stressed day. But to be fair, in an ironic way she was sort of fucked.

[Shane Alexander Madden]

As soon as Shane said it he knew he was going to get hell for it later. Fine? He could have picked any other response than that. He could tell Claire was peeved by it, but that would have to be hashed out later. Claire's parents were telling her she was underweight, which was making it worse, they were beating a dead horse with that one. Claire looked like she'd heard enough of that. Then there was the entire thing with Australia. Shane's first and final reaction to that was, fuck no. There were so many reasons why he was not about to go to Australia. One, Claire didn't want to. Two, they both had lives here, they couldn't just uproot everything they had here, this was their home. Three, and probably the biggest reason, he had no trouble in trying to politely mention. "I'm sure your intentions are good, but going to Australia doesn't seem like an option. Claire has worked really hard to get to where she is in the company, walking away from that would be..." he tried to find a good word, completely stupid didn't seem like the right one. "It'd be giving up a lot, especially since she's worked her ass off. And she sacrificed a lot. I don't think any of us want her to just send her dreams down the drain." He wasn't trying to come off like he knew what was best for Claire better than they did, he just knew that it was what she wanted. Shane looked up when he saw Ethan walk in, half relieved, half unsure if this was going to cause a blow up, what with Ethan's temper and all. But probably just because Shane knew something was going to be said about Ethan having supposed to have been watching out for Claire. Which was ridiculous, because he did, as much as a brother was supposed to. He couldn't just be with her every waking moment. It really wasn't long before Ethan was mad, and with good reason. This wasn't anyone's fault. Everyone was just going to have to let time handle it. That was about all Shane had going for him anyways. And of course, just when Shane thought things couldn't get any worse, his mom walked in. Which a small bag of groceries, looking like she just let herself in all the damn time. Which she did. It was just a bad time to make that obvious.

Shane stood up, seeing his mother who had a confused look on her face, to one of understanding, and then unsure of what she should do, "Hi, I feel like I walked in on a private family thing, I can come back in a little while..." Shane took the grocery bag from her, relieving her arms, "No, mom its fine." Shane looked around, "Mom, these are Claire's parents, Ethan and Miranda," he pointing at younger Ethan, "You know Ethan... and uh, this is my mom." "Hi, I'm Heather. Honestly, I didn't mean to intrude, I didn't know Shane and Claire were expecting you," Shane said under his breath, loud enough to for his mom to hear him, "We weren't..." Heather looked at her son, giving him a sympathetic look. She understood now that they'd been ambushed a little bit. Shane excused himself quickly and put the groceries in the kitchen, and came right back and sat beside Claire, his mom on her other side, peeking at his opened notebook on the table. He'd forgotten to put it away, but closing it now would be blatantly obvious. Oh well. No one else would proabbly give it two looks, though it was ratty as hell, since Shane had stapled the new one Claire had got him to the back of it so it was one big notebook.