[Libby] I'll Be Your Gold

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel let the cigarette hang from his lips loosely as he looked down at his phone , texting the details of the day so far out to Madeline. After he sent it out he dropped his phone into his back pocket and tightened his lips around the cigarette to take in one last drag before he tossed it out on the ground and stepped it out, blowing the smoke from his lips slowly as he turned around and headed back inside. Collin was being so damn ridiculous about the security on this video. Did they really need to keep everything so covert? He understood transporting him here in secret and doing the best he could to not leak what the video would be like, but he had overheard Collin confirming details on how Libby was getting the same treatment; security guards surrounding her to bring her on set, taking her out of her hotel room into a black SUV with tinted windows so no one would follow. Libby had seemed an easy choice. After hearing what Tyler and Collin had come up with they had described the kind of girl that they wanted for the video. Libby was the only option. Ordinarily Joel didn’t care who the girl was, whoever showed up on set worked just fine. But this song was so different to him. It wasn’t his typical ‘baby I love you’ song. It just felt deeper. And for some reason it just made sense that Libby needed to be in the video. Sure they hadn’t spoken since that night but.. surely she would be happy to do it. He had wanted to be the one to call her and ask her, but every time he tried calling she was out with the horses or at school, practice, different stuff. So it had been delegated to someone else who finally got ahold of her. Then when he decided to call her things always seemed to get in the way.. no answer, he needed to be in rehearsal or in the studio.. or on stage, doing an interview or the last time he had called – she was already on her way here according to her father. He wondered how that made her feel.. being shuffled around by his people, not being able to talk to him yet, at all. Not since that night. They had even been in South Africa together , celebrating his engagement to Tori and they hadn’t spoken a word to each other. Joel licked his lips, damn he was already craving another cigarette. Which was weird , he never felt this edgy for shooting a video.

Joel took in a breath, remembering Tori and reached into his back pocket again. He should probably call her. He was the one who decided to use his free time during tour to shoot a music video instead of coming home the least he could do was give her a call plus it would probably be nice to hear her voice. But there it was again, his mind going into overdrive. The last time Libby had seen him he felt like he had been such a boy. Less than a year ago.. or was it a year now? Regardless the time had passed so quickly in his mind, but he had gone so many places in that short amount of time. He had topped the charts, been in a coma, sold out stadiums, gotten engaged… his image even was so different. He looked up, instantly looking into the mirror. He didn’t even think he looked like the little boy anymore that Libby had known. Would she notice? Why did he care. Even if you looked at his Never Say Never video to now it looked like he had grown tremendously. So long to the floppy haired kid that had jumped on Logan Renner’s desk in order to be noticed. He closed his eyes, bringing his hands to his face and ran them over it slowly. Call Tori. That’s what a good fiancé would do. Joel took his phone out and dialed her number as he sat down, bringing his foot up to the footstand of the chair and started bouncing his knee as he called her. He bit the edge of his lip listening to each ring and then sighed when she answered the phone. “ Hey baby” he said hoarsely, probably from just smoking, into the phone and rested back into the chair.

“ Hey it’s nice to meet you, I’m Collin and judging by how much you look like Rosie you must be Libby” Collin said happily holding his hand out to Libby. “ Look I’m really sorry about the circus getting here it’s just uh… it’s kind of a big deal, you know? And I know you’re not in the limelight but you look exactly like someone who is.” he said before laughing quietly. “ This is Tyler, he’s my intern and he’s going to be helping out a hell of a lot today so if you have any questions feel free to ask him alright? And I’m sure he’ll point you in the direction of Joel in just a few moments,” he said before smiling politely at her and turned on his feet as he brought his headset back to his ears and started talking into it to get everyone else to set up for the filming ahead of them today. Joel turned his ear to his shoulder but didn’t look over it completely as Collin spoke to Libby but didn’t turn it over his shoulder completely to look at her. He understood if she hated him. This whole idea of ‘Joel Foster’ had gotten away from him. Even he didn’t realize how big he was unless he stopped to take a second and think about it. How many people had security crews this size. And to be fair it wasn’t a side of him that Libby knew at all. Maybe she thought he had a big head now. Most people did until they got to know him. It was like they had to go through this circus of people but once they got through it and got to the middle of the chaos to Joel himself that they realized how normal he was. Even now, Tori was talking and Joel just narrowed his eyebrows lost in his own thoughts. He himself hadn’t realized how much he compartimentalized stuff until now. When he needed to work he worked, he didn’t care about anything else. When he was with his friends, that’s what mattered. When had he gotten good at that? But he already knew the answer. He bit the inside of his cheek again as he thought about David. “ We need you in make-up, Rodney needs to leave early today” one of the set assistants said and Joel was brought out of his thoughts. “Baby I’m sorry I gotta go. I’ll call you later okay? Love you” he said before hanging up and stood out of his chair and followed her over to make-up. Well at least he was getting his ass kicked first thing in the morning.

About an hour later Joel was walking out of make-up which was ridiculous to him. He had wanted to just let the other guy throw a few punches but Collin wasn’t done with that idea at all. Joel licked his lips, pulling his jeans up at the side as they hung loosely over his hips as he looked down the hallways. Where was she? Couldn’t he just say hi.. thanks for coming..anything? Filming would take a couple of days, and he really had limited time with the guy playing Libby’s dad. He was some American actor who was famous for mafia roles and Collin seemed infatuated with him, so he had other stuff to head to. Whatever, didn’t matter to Joel. Plus he just needed to film with Libby then. And then the solo shots where it was just him, or him and the dancers could be done before his shows when he was supposed to be rehearsing for tour. He could fit it all in. “ Hey have you seen Li-“ he started off but Collin was pushing him towards set already. “ Alright he’s on set we’ll be ready to shoot in like five minutes”. Joel sighed and looked out to Collin as he walked away. “ Come on man” he yelled after him before shaking his head. Even he couldn’t stop the Joel Foster industry sometimes. He had rehearsed the fighting scenes a few times with Rodney but Collin didn’t seem to think that he needed to rehearse the intimate scenes with Libby. ‘ That would just come naturally, you’re teenagers’ he had said, causing Joel to roll his eyes. No idea how natural it really was. But she did need to be in a few of the fighting scenes, trying to get between him and Rodney. Joel licked his lips wondering if she would be in those now, were they filming that part today or tomorrow? Did he get a chance to see her just normal during filming, or would their first encounter be when he is supposed to have his hands all over her? “ Hold up, wait” Collin said, talking into his headset and then gave a small nod before walking over to Joel. “ Tyler had a good idea. Rodney’s time is limited and we need to sort of make the most of our time and get as much shot during the day as we can. Rodney and Libby are going to go do their scenes alone real quick, and .. how well is your choreography on the dance scene? We gotta get that locked down,” Collin said before giving Joel an apologetic look, “ Hair and make up again kid sorry”. Joel shook his head and shrugged, suggesting it was okay. Good. Libby had time to adjust to being on set. Or would she be mad that seeing him was being delayed? For fucks sake. Joel pinched the bridge of his nose and went back to hair and make-up, different people pulling clothes off of him and shoving an entirely new outfit on him. This time he was in and out in less than ten minutes and being thrown into the mix with his dancers.

Joel brought the back of his knuckle up to the side of his jaw and ran it back and forth as he talked to some of the dancers and then brought himself into the middle of them for shooting purposes. “ Set clear” Collin called out, making sure that anyone that didn’t need to be in the picture frame was out of it so they could start shooting. “ How are Libby and Rodney?” he asked, finally getting to talk over the quiet that was on set. “ They’re actually just finishing up. I sent one of the assistants to go get Libby so she could come watch. Tyler said you guys have been friends for a while, I thought she might want to see it” Collin said, offering a shrug . Most people denied having feelings or just saying that they were ‘friends’ with people. But one thing that anyone could say about Joel was that he was always honest. “ It’s a little more complicated than that” he said to Collin before licking his lips. The music started and Joel nodded his head along slowly, lethargically walking his way back to his mark. He had a little bit longer before they needed to start dancing. He looked over at one of his dancers and held his arm out low, giving him a fist bump before he brought his head down and stood still about eight counts before the choreography was supposed to start along with the music. Joel felt his body begin the dancing before he even realized he was doing it, trying to keep his expression somber throughout the entire routine. He was sure Collin had liked Tyler’s idea and then instantly began a panic search trying to get Big Sean to get to set on time for Joel to finish up choreography so that he could come into the parking garage too. They had to be on their third and final take by the time Joel finally looked up and was able to see through the sea of people behind the cameras, one of which Collin was staring at intently while talking to Tyler, his new right hand man, and pointing things out. But Joel was dead still , letting the dancers and everyone else move around him as his eyes locked on her.

Outfit

[Liberty J Madison]

Libby followed the person who had come to get her and was supposed to be taking her to where Joel was taping the dancing part of his new video. She sighed, casually yanking the zipper of her hoodie up and down, glad they had let her put her own clothes on, looking around at the parking garage they were in. Seeing Dallas was kind of fun to begin with, but getting driven around to different locations was like a personal travel tour. Libby had been to New York and to L.A., and that was it, all times she had been visiting Rosie. Rosie had even offered to come here with her, but Libby had said no. She could manage by herself. And when she was done filming the video she was flying up to New York anyways for a few days to see Rosie. But this she could handle on her own. At least she thought. But the real reason she had asked her sister not to come was because if Rosie was there she'd know immediately something had happened between Libby and Joel, and of course she would ask about it, and Libby didn't know what exactly she wanted to say about it. And what was she supposed to say, it didn't matter either way. Joel was engaged. And that was what mattered. It didn't matter what Libby thought about any of it, or how she felt, or how things might have gone, or how things went bad between them. Because nothing was going to change. Joel was engaged and that was how it was. She wasn't what mattered. She didn't even know why she agreed to do this video. A lot because they had been friends before, and they could be friends now, right? And it'd look suspicious if she said no, her sister and his sister just thought they made such a cute pair of friends. Maybe part of her wanted to see him. Even if it still stung.

She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about that night and how she felt, and how it ended, and how they didn't talk after that, waiting to hear from him, not sure what she herself should say to him. And then finding out he;d had an accident, was in a coma. Libby had thought he was going to die. She had sat, hundreds of miles away, across an ocean, worried out of her mind, pretending she wasn't as concerned as she was, waiting to hear any kind of news whether it was good or bad. And then when he recovered from his coma with some girl that he wanted to be with, going to South Africa with her sister to watch him get engaged to said girl. Having barely said much to him at his congratulatory party other than, 'congratulations'. And Libby saw him all the time, on the internet, in magazines, on TV, and yet seeing him in person only brought back all those feelings again and then she had to do what she'd gotten used to doing, which was shove it all down. And it was so stupid, because really, she had no good reason to be upset or bitter about anything. Libby didn't really think it was any of her business what he did. It was just one stupid night, and obviously nothing came of it. She was keeping her mouth shut. Even if standing here on set and finally seeing him going through choreography tugged at her heart, and she didn't understand why the sight of him did that to her, she knew what had happened between them was in the past and that was where it was staying. Joel had obviously moved on, since there wasn't really anything to move on from. And he was happily engaged. That was that. She wasn't here to stir up shit, she was just doing a friend a favor, because that's what they had been, friends. They didn't need to stop being friends.

Libby leaned against the wall, hanging back from all the cameras but she still had a good view of him. Her stomach felt like it was burning or something. From seeing him, and trying not to let herself feel things she shouldn't for someone who was happily engaged and obviously didn't want to be with her. Plus he was a very good dancer. She remembered all too well the other things that body was capable of. She felt like she had electrical pulses moving all over her body. Ugh, this sucked and at the same time it was good to see him, even though she didn't want to think that. Surely he was into his work right now anyways, he wouldn't look ov- oh. Libby felt her heart stop for the smallest moment when he looked right at her, their eyes meeting definitely. She swallowed, brushing a long strand of hair behind her ear and offered a small wave. Literally stopped breathing for a second and then caught her breath, breaking her gaze away from his. She looked away, at the floor, at eh cameras, anywhere else so she could gather her thoughts again. Libby crossed her arms across her body, looking back up to see that he too had looked away briefly, hearing the people on set say that was good for the dancing and they had all they needed. She could sense him walking over, taking a breath and reminded herself that she needed to buck up and get over it because they were about ti be spending a lot of time together the next few days. Joel finally came over and Libby offered a small smile as he approached her, "Hey," she shifted her weight to her other foot, "Well... this is all pretty cool," she gestured around at the parking garage. She didn't know what else to say, so she decided against further talking until he said something, she didn't want to sound stupid.


Outfit

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel felt the breath escape his lips with what literally felt like he had been punched in the gut as he stared across the sea of people to look at her. Could guilt really have this type of effect on someone? He watched her take her gaze away and instinctively did the same, looking over to one of the dancers who was asking for an autograph for their little sister. “ Oh mate yeah absolutely” he said, taking the sharpie from him and scribbling his name out quickly. “ Thanks so much for coming out and helping” he said, offering a polite smile before he turned back towards the direction he had seen Libby. Good she was still standing there. He swallowed hard, bracing himself for whatever reaction she had. Maybe she came here to slap him. He would deserve it. Joel reached down, bringing his jeans up to the side of his hips as he made his way over to her. “ Hey…” he said in response to her after she greeted him. He narrowed his eyebrows as she suggested that it was all cool. Joel gave a small nod before looking over his shoulder to look at everything that she was. Finally he brought his eyes back to her. “ Yeah.. my life is uh. Sort of crazy now” he said before offering her a small smile. She hadn’t hit him yet, that was good. “ I um.. I mean I thought you were perfect for this” he said bringing his hand out of his front pocket to gesture to her awkwardly. Joel took in a deep breath and grabbed her by the side of the arm and pulled her a few feet away so they could have a little more privacy. “ Look I… I really appreciate you coming out here and doing this. Especially with how things..” he started off unsure of how to word himself. Where the fuck was Parker when you needed her. “ You have to know that’s not how I wanted things to go. I don’t.. want you to think that I was just trying to get something out of you.” he said quickly, realizing that they might not have much private time together.

“ I was a kid and I had this huge dream that I was afraid of losing. I had never let a girl distract me before. It’s hard enough having a relationship at my age. It’s hard having a relationship in this industry.So I was sort of forced to think about the fact that I had both of those things working against me, and I didn’t want to lead you on so I wanted to take time to think about what was best for both of us. And I was so scared of losing everything I worked for.. and then I got hit by a car.. you might’ve heard about that. And…. Tori she..” he said before looking away and biting the edge of his lip. “She was there. Every day. And I have to believe that isn’t for nothing. But I want you to know that to this day you’re the only girl that I’ve ever s-“ he started off before he felt himself being tackled down against the ground. “ Ah .. god DAMNIT, Justin!” he screamed out, already recognizing the body colliding against his. Joel propped himself up on his elbows before he pushed himself up entirely. He looked up at Libby and gave a small sigh. This conversation was nowhere near over. “ Aren’t you going to introduce me to your pretty friend?” Justin asked and Joel brushed his hands off over his chest. “ Libby this is Justin… he’s my swag coach. Justin this is Libby. She’s Rosie Madison’s little sister,” he said before crossing his arms over his chest. “ You guys must hide out because of your hideous looks” Justin said sarcastically before he tapped her on the shoulder. “ Anyways it’s nice to meet you. It’s getting to be pretty late. We need to do some of the night shots so that you guys can play all day in the sunlight tomorrow. We need to change locations though so.. Libby do you want to ride wi-“ he started off. “I’ll drive her” Joel interrupted, keeping his eyes locked on Libby as he spoke. “ Do you even know where we’re headed?” Joel shrugged his shoulder, not taking his eyes off of her. “ I’ll just follow you guys. We’ll drive one of the equipment cars over.” he said, not in the mood to argue or not get his way on this one. He needed to talk to her, certainly before they filmed lovey dovey type scenes. “…Alright, I’ll go tell Tyler and Collin” Justin said before making his way away from the two of them. Joel cleared his throat, looking over to Libby before he gestured to one of the cars with her. Maybe it was best to wait to talk until they were in a car. Alone. Joel walked over and opened the passenger door of the SUV for her standing off to the side so she could get in. He shut the door gently before making his way to the drivers side and climbed in. He wasted no time in getting back to his point, “ I know it looks like.. I just.. don’t care about other people and just go after what I want. And I know that you probably think I have this huge ego and that I’ve created this circus around myself. But I swear to God Libby I never meant to hurt you… if I did. And I’m kind of contradicting myself right now because I’m telling you that I don’t just get what I want.. but the fact of the matter is.. that I do. I get what I want. And that night I wanted you but it wasn’t an intentional thing. And.. I mean the point is that I can get what I want. It wasn’t just sex. If I wanted to sleep with anyone in the world I could.. and I know that sounds egotistical but.. I haven’t. “ he rambled off keeping his eyes straight in front of him on the road. He hadn’t talked to her in forever. He was literally on his second tour since they had slept together and they quit speaking. He’d grown up.. he’d gotten a pretty famous haircut. He’d changed, and so had she. “ I’m just.. I’m not that guy. I know it doesn’t look like it after what happened Libby but I swear to God I’m a good guy. And I’m honest and I stick to my word.. and I swear to god .. I swear to God it kills me to know that I could have ever upset you. That's just not me. I mean people say I'm a dick because I put work first but I never intentionally hurt people"

[Liberty J Madison]

Libby nodded, but realized quickly he wanted to talk. She knew Joel well enough to know that if he had something to say, he was going to say all of it, with no interruptions. She wasn't about to interrupt him. At first she heard him say that he hadn't tried to get anything out of her. Okay, he was jumping right into it, and even though she knew they should talk about it, hashing it out was like, part of her didn't even want to go back to it. It was opening up all those feelings she'd so neatly tucked far away and they should stay there. He was engaged for Pete's sake, they didn't need to go back and dig this back up. It was only going to make things more complicated. However, she knew that the fact he was talking about it at all, at least he somewhat cared. It was a bittersweet thought, because it only fueled the smoldering fire she'd been putting out all this time. Her heart was being tugged in two directions, wanting to talk with him, not wanting to talk to him... she was so confused. Libby looked away, shrugging slightly as if to indicate it was what it was. As Joel continued talking, she understood what he meant. Things in the spotlight weren't easy, she knew that. Rosie dealt with it, it was the reason she relished being home when she could. It wasn't an easy thing to do, to live your life under a microscope. And Libby knew Joel hadn't asked for all that, but that's what came with it. Even though it came with baggage, it was still something you couldn't fathom giving up, no matter how much the fame chipped away at you, not after you worked so, so hard to reach your goal. Libby jumped a bit, so lost in what he was saying, she didn't even see the guy coming when he tackled Joel down. Only girl that he ever what? What was he going to say? Now she'd never know.

Libby laughed slightly when Joel introduced herself and Justin to each other, Justin mentioning her's and her sister's looks, "Yeah Rosie hides with the horses, I tend to opt for the brown bag method." Libby offered a polite smile, "It's nice to meet you too," chuckling a bit at the fact that Joel had a 'swag coach'. Kind of hilarious. Justin mentioned that they needed to change locations and she nodded, hearing Joel say she could ride with him. Okay, he wasn't done talking, that was fine. They'd been interrupted. Libby followed him to the car, brushing her hair off her neck and climbed in the car when he opened the door for her, "Thanks." Libby settled into her seat, listening to him talk and brought her legs up to her chest, deciding to let them back down. She didn't need to let herself resort to defense mechanisms, this was Joel. Granted they hadn't spoken for a long time, but he wasn't a stranger, and she didn't need to be either. Libby looked out the window, watching as things passed by, hearing what he was saying. So she wasn't the only one. He knew too, things weren't good, and that wasn't how it was supposed to be. But there was a lot of worrying about her right now. Libby turned to look at him, blurting out suddenly, "What about you?" she paused, realizing she was going to have to be more specific, and added, "I didn't try to call you either." Libby rested her head in her hand, elbow on the arm rest, "I'm sorry if I hurt you, too." Libby let out a breath, sitting back in her seat and rested her feet up on the dashboard, poking at a fresh bruise from a recent field hockey game. "And... I believe you. I know you didn't intend anything." Libby shrugged, "I think you're right though, I think we both needed time to think... and then so much time passed neither of us knew what to say anymore. And then... well things are different." Libby let out a laugh. Yes they certainly were. "I mean," she said wistfully, placing her hand on his thigh, "I wanted you too." She hoped he didn't feel bad because he thought things were one sided, because they weren't. She was just as much a guilty party. She'd wanted it that night too, which, after she'd said it, she realized she was acting much too boldly and quickly pulled her hand back, having forgot for just a second it wasn't exactly appropriate. She whispered, "Sorry," even though she knew they'd have to touch each other if she was going to be doing the video. Libby turned to look back out the window,having fallen silent again. This conversation would have been much better placed months ago, maybe things would have been different. Just to tell him she never meant to make things weird either. The whole coma thing and him being engaged kinda put a damper on things. But at least, this was a start. A start for not much, but at least they were talking. And she didn't want him to feel so guilty. Yes she felt crappy about it, but she wasn't going to let on to him how crappy she still felt. Because he would ask why, and she didn't want to tell him. Instead, she tried to just move on, put a smile on, be his friend, whatever. Anything but let him know there was anything else going on in her head, he just didn't need that.

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel blinked as he kept his eyes focused on the road, switching lanes carefully as he followed the cars ahead of them. Collin wanted to capture the skyline of the city at dark and he knew they wouldn’t be filming long but they would both have to change clothes when they got there. He hadn’t expected her to respond so quickly yet there she was turning in her seat to look at him, demanding to know what about him and his feelings. “ My feelings?” he repeated back to her, keeping one hand on the top of the steering wheel as he looked over at her for just a second before he put his eyes back on the road. His feelings were irrelevant. “ That’s not what we’re talking about” he said firmly before dropping his hand from the steering wheel. He licked his lips as he parked the car and looked over at her as she started talking about how things were different. He smiled faintly as he thought back on Tori. It was so nice of her to come and see him every day. She had been so kind. How could you not like someone who was so caring. She had sacrificed for him he could do the same for her. What? No. He wasn’t sacrificing anything, he wanted to be with her. He tensed as she placed her hand on his thigh. Joel had never cheated on anyone before and it just wasn’t a part of his personality. And her touching his leg wasn’t cheating, but it sure felt like it. And he realized that when they were on set they would be doing a lot more than this, but for some reason this seemed worse. It was worse for her to touch his leg when there weren’t cameras than it was for them to kiss in front of them for the purpose of his video. Yet, he did nothing to move her hand from his leg. He just let it sit there until she decided to move it herself. “ It’s fine..” he said distractedly before he unbuckled his seat belt.

“ You’re happy… I am happy” he said distractedly while looking out the window. Though her being here did make him question a few things. Before the accident if he had pegged himself as being in a relationship, he would have assumed it was going to be with her. Now he was engaged to another woman. Was it possible to already be wondering ‘what if’ at his age. Joel cleared his throat, sort of shaking himself from his thoughts as he got out of the car. He made his way over to the passenger side letting Libby out. Joel shut the door behind her before leaning down so that she pressed against it before placing his hand on the top of the car. “I made a lot of mistakes when it came to you” he said watching her eyes carefully. “ Some more obvious than others I think.” he said before backing away from her. Joel put a smile on as he came closer to the rest of the crew. “ What’s good?” he asked Tyler, slapping his hand against his before he stepped closer to him and hugged him loosely by patting him on the back. Joel looked back over at Lily as she was getting escorted to change as he opted to just change right there in front of everyone. When he was finished he looked over, waiting for Libby as people fixed his hair while he walked across the rooftop. “ Here’s to hoping you still like the way I kiss” he said jokingly as he smiled at her. Though he couldn’t stop his train of thought. Here was to what if.. He was getting a chance to see if she still had a spark and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time in his life. And he wasn’t about to tell her that. ‘Hey I’m an engaged guy and though I would never cheat, I’m sort of under the impression that when we kiss on set it’ll tell me if we missed out on each other or not”. Yeah, that didn’t roll off the tongue so easily.