[Libby] Like You Do

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel leaned over and gave the radio DJ a fistbump as he took the headset off. “ Nah man thanks for having me I really appreciate it,” he said before he leaned over and gave him a loose hug. “ Good luck on the tour, Foster” he called out and Joel grinned before making his way out of the cramped studio. “ Sounds like everyone is having a good time back on the bus” he said to one of his crew members as he headed down the stairs. Elevator would take too long. Seeing as how he wanted to get back and see everyone, he didn’t feel like wasting any time. After he made it outside he jumped immediately into his familiar blackened SUV and relaxed in the seats. Joel looked back down at his phone, looking down at the chat. Yeah Justin and Libby were bobth past the point of intoxication. Justin was always entertaining when he was drunk. Libby was going to be more of a… challenge? Finally the car pulled up in front of the tour bus, which needed to get back on the road. No cozy hotel tonight, they had miles to put under their feet. Which would be fun getting Libby back to any airport tomorrow to actually get her home. If she went home this time. By the time he got on the bus he gave a slight shake of his head at the drinking that was going on around him. “ Jesus,” he muttered under his breath before he started his search for Libby. Finally he spotted her and gave a small smile before making his way over to her. “ Here,” he said offering her a refill since he had promised. ” Come on” he said, tilting his head over to the back of the bus. He reached the back of the bus where the one bed in the entire thing was located. Those bunks sucked. He shut the door behind them before offering her the drink and making his way over to sit down.

[Liberty J Madison]

Libby looked at Justin and laughed, each with their own bag of beef jerky, "My jerky is better, it says 'Joel' on mine," she said matter of factly, before zipping the package closed and set it aside, and then looked at her empty cup. Sigh. She just wanted to come back. She missed him, not just since he'd been off doing a radio thing, she missed him all the time. Ever since that one time. And since they'd shot the video, she'd just been sort of intoxicated by him, with all this weird hope in her gut that one day maybe, things would work in their favor. Until then, she was just sitting, enjoying this other kind of intoxication, waiting for Joel. Who happened to be back apparently and handed her a drink. "Ooh," she said taking it, "Thank you." Libby grinned at him, happy to see him and stood up, slightly wobbly but still standing nonetheless. Libby followed him to the back of the bus, wondering what exactly they were doing, but she knew she wouldn't complain either way. it sucked sort of, wanting him. Lots of people wanted to him. But not like this. Okay maybe some like this, but not everybody had had him, so that she knew, not many could relate to. But still, it sucked because she knew, even thought she was drunk, and even if he caught up to her speed, Joel was far too decent to partake in what she wanted. Disappointing, a little, but in a lot of ways it was nice. She liked that he was like that, just not right now. Joel shut the door and went to sit down, leaving Libby to take a sip of her new drink, wondering just what lines she wasn't allowed to cross. After a moment of thought, Libby crossing the small space and crawled onto his lap, straddling his legs and handed her drink back to him, "Catch up?" After he took the drink, Libby felt her hands snake around his hips like it was the most normal thing in the world, smiling at him,"I'm glad for plane maintenance."

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel lowered the cup from his lips after taking a drink and looked down at Libby with a small smirk. The last night they had spent together when she was intoxicated had ended a lot differently than what he knew tonight would be. It felt different this time, honestly. He had feelings for her. He didn’t want to make a move on her for many reasons including Tori and many reasons including herself; and one big one that was telling him right now that she deserved more respect than to be toyed with like she had Fischer Price labeled on her somewhere. Joel lowered his arm to the side, feeling her hands around his hips as he clenched his jaw down tightly. “ Libby..” he said quietly, lowering his forehead down to hers as he closed his eyes. How had they gotten to this point. How had he promised himself to someone who he was now realizing might not want to be promised to him. How was he supposed to be respectful to both of them. Joel moved his arm over, not moving away from Libby as he sat the cup down on the nearest table surface near them. Slowly he brought his hand to the side of her arm where he brought his fingertips to her skin, just to trace it lightly. It seemed worse than what they had done on the video. That was for work. This was just to feel her skin, just to have a piece of that night with them again one more time. “ I’m not terribly disappointed with them at the moment either,” he said quietly before he opened his eyes slowly to look down at her.

[Liberty J Madison]

Libby watched him, unsure of what she should say. She was always a little unsure. There was a fine line, a time for tip toeing. She knew Joel would hate himself if he went against his morals and she didn't want him to. Well, she did, but she didn't. She wanted to be with him, but not like that. That wasn't a fair way to be together, not for anybody. It was just so tempting, because he was right here, and there were no cameras, no crew people, just them. Just like before. No expectations, no excuses for work except that it was just because they wanted it. Touching each other because they wanted to, not because it was required for a video, taking each other in because it was familiar. Libby, heard him agree, they were both glad she'd stayed just one more night. Even if it was just the one. Granted they thought she'd really have to leave today, but that's been a fluke. Tomorrow, however, they wouldn't be as lucky. Not as lucky as tonight. Libby didn't know if they were going to be able to be together like this again. For the moment she was going to commit what it felt like having his hands on her to memory. Libby, slipped her fingers through his belt loops, watching him sadly, "I never know with you, Joel" Libby shrugged, "I never know how far is too far. You have to tell me what's okay and what isn't."

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel reached his hand up to the side of her face, pushing some of her hair behind her ear as she looped her fingers through his belt loops. There was such a grey area he felt like. What he was and wasn’t capable of doing. Even if Tori didn’t want to be with him, he had made a promise to her. Even friends deserved to have their promises be kept. “ I don’t know what’s right anymore, Libby” he said hoarsely as he took a small step back from her. She cared for him more than Tori did. He wasn’t downplaying the fact that Tori cared about him. But there was just something different about Libby. He could feel it in the way she touched him and looked at him. What was wrong and what wasn’t. Was it wrong to let the woman that loved him feel this way? Cause that didn’t feel right either.. hurting her to protect someone who loved him less. Joel brought his hand down to hers before laying down on the bed and pulling on it gently to suggest she should lay down with him. “ Just lay with me tonight” he said tiredly, moving so she could lay down while slowly kicking his shoes off. " I think I owe you a song anyways"

[Liberty J Madison]

Libby sighed, watching him, looking into Joel’s eyes and she could tell all his wheels were spinning. He was doing a lot of thinking. How confused he must be, being engaged to someone, making that big promise, and then being here with her like this. Libby hated being the reason for him being so confused and distressed, but at the same time, she wouldn’t take it back. It was stupid, but she felt like she was allowed to have her place with him, because stupidly and naively, she loved him. For some reason. She didn’t even know how to explain it, and it seemed ridiculous, because Joel had been right, she wasn’t there for him when she should’ve been. She should’ve dropped everything and came to him when he needed her, when he was in a coma. But she could never shake that awful fear that if she showed up and he woke up he might have been like, ‘why are you here?’ She couldn’t help but wonder if the whole not talking thing really was his way of saying he didn’t want to be with her, which in that case, she’d have felt stupid rushing to his side. Of course looking back she wished she would have, but at the time she’d been so scared that he didn’t feel the same way. She didn’t think she could risk that kind of potential heartbreak. Too bad some other girl swooped in and filled her spot and now look where that got her, they were engaged. Though Libby wondered if she had been the one to be here for him when he woke up and for the duration of his coma, if Libby would be in Tori’s shoes. Would Joel have wanted so easily and quickly to be engaged to Libby? Probably not. Libby didn’t know what it was, but it seemed that the entire thing was so fast and spontaneous. She didn’t know. She knew she should stop comparing herself to Tori, because that was completely ridiculous, they were not the same person, at all.

Libby sighed when Joel laid down, pulling her with him and gave in so she let him pull her down and slid next to him, still laying on her stomach and left her arm wrapped around him, her head rested on his shoulder. Libby nodded to herself when he said to just lay with him, answering quietly, “Okay…” because really, how could she refuse? “You do owe me a song. What’s it gonna be?”

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel closed his eyes as he finally laid down against the soft pillow and inviting sheets. He wore himself out everyday, just completely exhausted himself. So it was nice to just have her in his arms, though being around her caused him to think all the time. And he was already so exhausted. But she smelled so nice. If they could just lay down and never get up, never have to owe anyone any explanations, he considered for a moment that he might just do that. He licked his lips after she had settled herself down on the bed, laying on her stomach with her arm draped over him. No he hadn’t technically cheated, but this sure as hell was starting to feel like it. She had agreed to a song and Joel slowly opened his eyes, looking at the girl that was perched so perfectly against him. He brought his hand up to her hair again, moving his fingers slowly and gently through the strands of her hair. “ How about an original,” he said with almost a whisper to his voice. Joel licked his lips as he twirled the end of her hair around his fingers. “ Across the ocean.. across the sea, starting to forget the way you look at me now. Over the mountains.. across the sky, need to see your face and need to look in your eyes. Through the storm and through the clouds bumps on the road and upside down now. I know it’s hard baby, to sleep at night… but don’t you worry cause everything’s gonna be alright.” he sang quietly into her ear, doing his best to pull lyrics out of thin air. Joel leaned down, placing his cheek against the skin of her shoulder as he continued to sing the song to her. How many girls did he serenade at each show, and this felt more himself than any of them. Joel moved his hand out of her hair as he sang to her, bringing it so that it was tucked securely against the side of her jaw as he traced his thumb over her bottom lip, knowing that the taste of them from the video shoot would haunt him for weeks to come.

[Liberty J Madison]

Libby thought to herself that she could honestly lay here and never get up. Joel was so inviting, warm, solid, everything a boy should be, and the way he ran his fingers through her hair like she meant something to him, for a half a second it felt like she was the only person to mean anything. She didn’t have to remind herself that she wasn’t, it was just there, in the back of her mind. Libby agreed to an original, giving an encouraging ‘mhmm’ before he began singing, something new that she was sure she was the first to hear. His voice was so soothing and it struck her as incredible that someone that was so entertaining, and charismatic, with so much energy, a powerhouse on stage, could also be this soothing, and quiet, peaceful almost. Libby felt her eyes will themselves closed, though she wasn’t entirely tired. Just relaxed, and comfortable. At peace for the short moments that they seemed to find. And it was so sweet really, as bitter sweet as it may also be. Was everything going to be alright? Libby wanted so badly to believe that was so, because Joel said so, and the way he sang to her, for some reason, so sure and so easily, made her think he was right. He had to be. He was calling the shots here anyways, so if he said it would be alright, she would believe him, however naïve it may be. Libby opened her eyes and watched him, feeling as his thumb traced over her lip. Oh so familiar that was, remember just the last few days. It had been for the video, so somehow it made it okay, but Libby knew there had been no acting involved on her part. It was crazy really, how fast her emotions had come rushing back and all of it so natural. She looked up at him, looking into each other’s eyes, neither of them really knowing where they go from here, she suspected. From here in this moment, from the time they left this bus and she went home, or after that. When would she see him next? Would she be able to without it being so obvious that they needed to see one another? Libby reached her hand up and moved her fingers through his hair, wanting so badly to just tell him how she felt. “Joel,” she started, unsure of how to say this without making things more difficult for him, but he’d been so honest with her so she knew she needed to. Without much more thought she decided she was going to have to just rip the band aid off, because she wanted him to know, and she didn’t know when the next time was going to be that she would be able to tell him, “I love you.” Libby closed her eyes, finding a comfy spot for herself on his shoulder, burying her face in his neck, “You don’t have to say it back, I understand.”

[Joel Carter Foster]

Joel looked down into Libby’s eyes as she was looking into his, almost like they were each searching for an answer that they knew neither of them had. At seventeen what did he really know about life and love aside from the fact that right now holding her in his arms felt like the most magical thing in the entire world. And honestly the last time they had been alone together in a bed had left a mark on each of them. Yet, laying here holding her like this almost felt more intimate. And there it was, she said she loved him. Though was he surprised? They had danced around the subject for the past few days, each knowing what the other was feeling without so much as going out and directly saying it. But Joel wasn’t an idiot, neither was she. They both knew saying it out loud almost made it more painful. But it deserved to be real, she deserved to hear it from his lips instead of wondering in her mind what was true and wasn’t. “ I love you with everything I have,” Joel responded to her, finding himself more relieved by the fact that she loved him than he did by the idea that his fiancé did. The feeling of her face in his neck, just having her body close to his. Joel tucked his hand protectively over her lower back before pulling her as close as he could possibly get her to his own body. Joel curled his fingertips against her lower back before bringing his hand up to the back of her neck since she was nestled against the inside of his so delicately. How could he not want to protect this girl when she was so beautiful, delicate, perfect. “ If I could take everything I did back, I would,” he offered, referring to the marriage proposal which now seemed to be a jail sentence to him and Tori. “ If I had a choice, it would be you”

[Liberty J Madison]

It was one thing to have an idea of how they felt about each other, not saying it and somehow protecting each other from hurting more, but it was also possible that, as much as it hurt, it felt good to just say it out loud. Libby wasn't sure how normal it was to love someone as young as seventeen, but it felt real at least. Libby felt like her heart stopped beating for a small moment, feeling it sink to her stomach in the bittersweet reality of it. As good as it felt to know he loved her, she couldn't help the overwhelming emotions that swarmed in, feeling guilty that she was causing him confusion and hurt, frustrated with the situation, just flat out sad. A little disappointment mixed in. It was just shitty because after tonight, seriously, when was she going to see him again? Probably on a magazine cover or something with his fiance. All of a sudden she just felt sad. Why did things have to turn out like this. Libby squeezed her eyes shut, breathing in his scent and tried to just push it from her mind, just enjoy tonight. She just couldn't not think about the fact that, what if things really did end after this? Yeah, he said things would be alright, but what did that mean? Libby, sighed softly, answering him, "I know you would..." her voice coming out so ragged. God she felt like she was gonna cry. Libby held onto him tighter, as if somehow holding onto Joel was going to hold her together, and she couldn't predict at what point she just might fall apart. "So," she said quietly, trying to keep her voice even, "When your tour comes to London, maybe I can come to your show..." At this point, any future plans sounded better than absolutely no future.

[Joel Carter Foster]

You could lie to yourself, your family, friends. You could lie through an interview about anything and everything. The thing about Joel was, he never did. And even in a situation where he should be lying to himself – he just didn’t. So he couldn’t bring himself to lying to her either. He could and should make her hate him, let it be easier for her. But Joel Foster was no liar. And Libby Madison had every piece of him that he couldn’t ever be able to give to someone else. She had his heart, he couldn’t give away. Tori could have his ring finger. Libby had everything else. “ You can come to any and every show you want to, Libby” he said with his eyes closed, keeping his arm taut around her. If he could live in this night for the rest of his life, he would. Tangled in these sheets with his arms wrapped around the one woman who meant the entire world to him. He didn’t want to fall asleep, he didn’t want tonight to end. But he couldn’t imagine a better time than just holding her here in his arms. And she was so comforting and inviting anyways. Everything about her mesmerized him, until it started to put him into a lull. Joel opened his eyes as he looked into the darkness that surrounded the back room they were in. Surely his crew was talking about the fact that he had basically came onto the bus and taken her directly to the back. But he hadn’t kissed her. He wouldn’t. That wasn’t fair to either of them. In fact, he was confident he could live with the guilt that came along with it on his part. What he couldn’t live with was the pain it might cause Libby later on. Sure it might be nice for the moment, but it would make it that much harder to leave her. What could he do without hurting her? Nothing, which made him completely useless.Even more so than when he was in a coma. Joel reached his hand over the top of her own before threading his fingers through hers, tracing his thumb back and forth over the edge of her palm. Maybe Renner could make the entirety of his tour be in England. Or maybe he just needed to come to the realization that for every moment he spent for the rest of his life not being able to hold her, there would be a piece of him that always traveled back to this night.