Post by Zoe Lauren Pierson on Nov 12, 2012 19:37:14 GMT -5
Zoe placed her hand on her hip as she leaned the other side of her body against the bathroom counter, mindlessly brushing her teeth. She had her audition for Julliard later today and everything inside of her was torn. Did she really want to pursue with the music, or did she want a degree that would make more sense for Logan to hire her? Sure, she had no problem believing that he would keep her employed no matter what. But if she was going to work for him under public relations and merchandising, shouldn’t she have a degree in that instead of an arts degree? She leaned down, rising her mouth out with water before she took in a deep breath and sighed quietly. But she couldn’t not know. She would wonder for the rest of her life whether or not she could get in to Julliard based on her abilities. At least she would know one way or another, and if not, then she could at least turn them down if she needed to. She leaned backwards, looking out at Gabe who was still laying in bed. How in the hell was she supposed to get dressed for the day and leave something as perfect as that behind? The time they spent apart during their break up had been the worst time in her life. Thank God Felicia had been there, because she honestly wasn’t sure what she would have done with herself. Zoe stepped quietly out of their bedroom and made her way to their kitchen. Their kitchen. How weird was that? She still felt so young. They were still so young. And the only reason they had even moved in together was because Dex had proposed to Felicia and just up and switched all of their things. Did Gabe even want this? That was the thing about Zoe. In her work and school life- cool as a cucumber. When it came to her personal life, she worked herself into panic attacks until she was left standing in a kitchen with her fingertips turning white from clutching onto the counter so hard as she tried to catch her breath. Breathe in, out, she thought to herself. Gabe wasn’t an asshole. This might not have been his complete idea but surely Dex talked to Gabe about it, he would’ve needed help moving everything. And if Gabe had any objects, wouldn’t he have told Dex to hold off until he could find a new place and she could move in on her own? But maybe it was a money issue. Or the fact that he didn’t want to move away from Dex. Maybe they didn’t want to separate the two girls. Zoe scrunched her nose before going over to the kitchen drawer and opening it. Kitchen was where she had her panic attacks, kitchen was where she kept her inhaler . Stupid asthma. Stupid panic attacks. Zoe took in a deep breath, letting the oxygen fill her lungs and hopefully letting the air clear her mind and let her calm the fuck down before she let out a slow breath. Gabe loved her. Get the man some damn Fruit Loops.
Zoe moved over to the pantry, taking down the half empty box of fruit loops before she started making him a giant bowl of it. She would make him something more fancy for breakfast- that boy loved his cereal. Zoe picked up the bowl of cereal and quickly grabbed him a bottle of orange juice from the fridge before she made her way back to their bedroom and set it down on the nightstand. She pulled the sheets off of his lower body, carefully moving to position herself over his hips before she brushed her hair behind her ear and leaned down to kiss the side of his jaw. “ Good morning,” she said, smiling against his skin before she sat up further to give him a kiss. “ Today is a big day for me,” she said, lifting her eyebrow as she looked down at him. “ I think it’s your responsibility as a good boyfriend to help me unwind,” she said before smiling happily and leaning down to kiss him again. It’s not like his cereal would get soggy, she hadn’t put much milk in there. Thankfully Gabe never slept in much anyways, so it wasn’t like she was wasting any precious time trying to get his clothes off. She was a firm believer he should just walk around naked all the time anyways. Dance treated his body well. And she was pretty sure that it was her responsibility as a good girlfriend to show him how much she appreciated it. Even if she had a time limit this morning on how long she could do that. A little less than an hour later and she was finishing curling her hair in the bathroom. She had made herself a tad bit late this morning.. by like a half hour now. She picked up her violin case, running by the couch before she stopped and leaned down to give him a kiss. “ I love you, I’ll see you later,” she said, opening her mouth so he would give her a bite of what had to be his second bowl of cereal by now. She knew if she had asked him to come that he would have, so would have Zack and Felicia. But she was so scared of failing that she couldn’t handle the idea of failing in front of the people she loved the most – especially Gabe. The cab ride took thirty-eight minutes. Finding the right floor took twelve. Waiting to be called took an hour and forty-two minutes. One hundred and fifty- two minutes of her wringing her hands together, biting the inside of her lip almost in half, tapping her feet against the floor, moving anxiously in her seat. And then literally the second she rested her chin upon the violin she took in a breath and felt completely calm. This was as natural to her as breathing. She had performed a mixture of songs for Gabe’s performance when he danced and she figured the best thing to do was to select two songs and re-mix them together. She had selected Snow ( Hey Oh ) and Bad Romance since the melodies and tempo worked a little more efficiently together. She brought the bow to the strings, starting off slowly for a classical piece before she licked her lips and took a quick nervous breath in, moving her fingers quickly as she left the ideology of the ‘classic ‘ music and transitioned into making it more modern. She cut the note sharp to an end as she finished the song, allowing for the silence to enter the room instead of letting the note echo throughout. She blinked as she looked up at them, slowly moving the violin down to her lap. “ How long have you been playing, ….Zoe?’ the male voice asked as he looked down at the sheet to see her name. “ I started playing when I was three,” she said, licking her lips as she looked at all of them. “ Are you nervous?” he asked. She narrowed her eyebrows in thought before she looked up, “ Not about my performance,” she said, giving one nod. “ Then what makes you nervous?” he asked and Zoe took in a breath. “ Others inability to detect talent if it doesn’t fit in their idea of perfection,” she said quietly, though she didn’t need to speak loud. The room was made to let sounds echoes off the walls. He smirked, giving a small laugh. “ You’re confident for a young lady,” he said and Zoe widened her eyes slightly. “ You should see me around my boyfriend,” she said, suggesting that she was not confident at all. But surprisingly, again he laughed. “ I’m sure he finds you just as talented as we do,” he offered before Zoe felt the relief spread across her body. “ We’d like to extend an offer to you,” he said, folding his hands together. “ Oh,” Zoe said, blinking a few times as she looked down at her hands. She wasn’t aware of how dry her mouth had gotten. And the strangest thing? Her first thought was that she wanted to talk to Logan. She brought her head up, looking over at him, “ Can I get back to you?” she asked and this time she watched as the tension she had felt moments before seemed to enter the gentleman’s body across the room for her. “ You need time to think about it?” he asked and Zoe gave a small nod. “I apologize,” she said. “ Zoe, you have been playing music since you were three years old. This isn’t a hobby. This has been a lifetime thing for you. What could possibly make you question everything you’ve worked for up to this point?’ he asked and Zoe opened her mouth slightly, unsure of how she should explain herself. How did she tell someone she didn’t know, that she didn’t know who she was or what she wanted. She needed Logan. And Gabe. Zack and Felicia. Even if she continued college at Columbia, she needed to maintain her scholarship, which meant continuing to play music anyways. So did she want to play music for the rest of her life, be one person in a hundred person orchestra and get lost in a crowd, or did she want to work for Logan where she knew he would utilize her strengths. “ Please let us be aware of your decision as soon as you make it. Take careful time and consideration, Zoe” he said cautiously and she nodded. “ Thank you very much, sir” she said before picking up her violin and escorting her way out of the room. “ How’d it go?” someone asked, beaming up at her as they sat behind their registration desk. Zoe shook her head, gripping her fingers tightly around the neck of the violin. “ I don’t know,” she said before she moved away from the audition room entirely. She needed away from it.
Zoe opted not to go to the cab, instead walking her way back home. She needed to clear her head, only that didn’t work at all. In fact it probably made it worse, made her over analyze things. If she worked for Logan, it would probably be better for her and Gabe’s relationship. She was pretty damn sure Logan would let her work from anywhere, … he kind of fucking loved her and Felicia. But if she went the music route, that could move her anywhere. And she would never ask Gabe to move with her. That wasn’t fair to his career. She could move for his, she had an option to do so. When she got back inside, she looked around, numbly noting that Gabe had apparently taken it upon himself to tidy up the apartment. It was so nice and clean, her favorite pumpkin candles were burning in the living room, and the vanilla in the kitchen. “ Hey,” she said quietly, setting down the violin on the coffee table, which she still hadn’t placed back in her case considering she felt like a mental nutbag right now. After a moment she set the case down beside it and the “ Well?” he questioned and almost instantaneously she started crying. “ I’m sort of overwhelmed by options right now,” she said, bringing her hands to her face where the tears were pouring out. He could pretty much assume she had nailed her audition from that. Couldn’t have options if you didn’t kick ass. “ I’m eighteen. I have no idea what I want. I literally… they..” she said, trying to talk as she was crying, finding it hard to even breathe. Not a pretty crier. “ The only thing that I know I want for the rest of my life is you. I don’t feel passionately one way or the other about anything else,” she said, before lowering her hands. “ Is that dumb? You’re the only thing I know for certain I want,” she said before sniffling, deciding – yes, she probably sounded like an idiot to him. But instead of explaining it any further, she sniffled in – attractive-, before she made her way to their bedroom, changing instantly into a pair of Gabe’s sweatpants and one of his hoodies. She didn’t feel like trying to look pretty, or trying to do her hair or fix her make up. She just wanted to sit on the couch. After picking up her favorite fleece blanket that Felicia had made her she came out to the couch, climbing over Gabe’s pillows and blankets until she settled herself into the corner, barely taking up any room in the huge cocoon of blankets he had created. “ I want to watch Footloose,” she said, bringing her hand up to her face to wipe away the tears before she rested her head against the armrest. She was sure that eventually Gabe would make his way to the couch and she would move. But right now she didn’t feel like moving herself. She felt like having him move her. He was strong, he could do it. And she wanted an orange. But Felicia wasn’t here for that, so instead she sniffled and looked up at him. “ Do we have any oranges?” she questioned, hoping he would take the role of Felicia and open it for her. But she just waited. Waited for the movie to start, waited for the orange, waited for Gabe to get on the couch and pull her to the chest. He was the only thing she was certain of in her whole life, and all she wanted was to just lay with him for now. Her future wasn’t just her choice, it was his too. But for now she just wanted to not let all of it completely overwhelm her. She wanted to make simple choices – to watch a movie? Yes. Spend time with your boyfriend? Absolutely. They could discuss the big life event later that evening when it wasn’t so fresh to overwhelming her.
Zoe moved over to the pantry, taking down the half empty box of fruit loops before she started making him a giant bowl of it. She would make him something more fancy for breakfast- that boy loved his cereal. Zoe picked up the bowl of cereal and quickly grabbed him a bottle of orange juice from the fridge before she made her way back to their bedroom and set it down on the nightstand. She pulled the sheets off of his lower body, carefully moving to position herself over his hips before she brushed her hair behind her ear and leaned down to kiss the side of his jaw. “ Good morning,” she said, smiling against his skin before she sat up further to give him a kiss. “ Today is a big day for me,” she said, lifting her eyebrow as she looked down at him. “ I think it’s your responsibility as a good boyfriend to help me unwind,” she said before smiling happily and leaning down to kiss him again. It’s not like his cereal would get soggy, she hadn’t put much milk in there. Thankfully Gabe never slept in much anyways, so it wasn’t like she was wasting any precious time trying to get his clothes off. She was a firm believer he should just walk around naked all the time anyways. Dance treated his body well. And she was pretty sure that it was her responsibility as a good girlfriend to show him how much she appreciated it. Even if she had a time limit this morning on how long she could do that. A little less than an hour later and she was finishing curling her hair in the bathroom. She had made herself a tad bit late this morning.. by like a half hour now. She picked up her violin case, running by the couch before she stopped and leaned down to give him a kiss. “ I love you, I’ll see you later,” she said, opening her mouth so he would give her a bite of what had to be his second bowl of cereal by now. She knew if she had asked him to come that he would have, so would have Zack and Felicia. But she was so scared of failing that she couldn’t handle the idea of failing in front of the people she loved the most – especially Gabe. The cab ride took thirty-eight minutes. Finding the right floor took twelve. Waiting to be called took an hour and forty-two minutes. One hundred and fifty- two minutes of her wringing her hands together, biting the inside of her lip almost in half, tapping her feet against the floor, moving anxiously in her seat. And then literally the second she rested her chin upon the violin she took in a breath and felt completely calm. This was as natural to her as breathing. She had performed a mixture of songs for Gabe’s performance when he danced and she figured the best thing to do was to select two songs and re-mix them together. She had selected Snow ( Hey Oh ) and Bad Romance since the melodies and tempo worked a little more efficiently together. She brought the bow to the strings, starting off slowly for a classical piece before she licked her lips and took a quick nervous breath in, moving her fingers quickly as she left the ideology of the ‘classic ‘ music and transitioned into making it more modern. She cut the note sharp to an end as she finished the song, allowing for the silence to enter the room instead of letting the note echo throughout. She blinked as she looked up at them, slowly moving the violin down to her lap. “ How long have you been playing, ….Zoe?’ the male voice asked as he looked down at the sheet to see her name. “ I started playing when I was three,” she said, licking her lips as she looked at all of them. “ Are you nervous?” he asked. She narrowed her eyebrows in thought before she looked up, “ Not about my performance,” she said, giving one nod. “ Then what makes you nervous?” he asked and Zoe took in a breath. “ Others inability to detect talent if it doesn’t fit in their idea of perfection,” she said quietly, though she didn’t need to speak loud. The room was made to let sounds echoes off the walls. He smirked, giving a small laugh. “ You’re confident for a young lady,” he said and Zoe widened her eyes slightly. “ You should see me around my boyfriend,” she said, suggesting that she was not confident at all. But surprisingly, again he laughed. “ I’m sure he finds you just as talented as we do,” he offered before Zoe felt the relief spread across her body. “ We’d like to extend an offer to you,” he said, folding his hands together. “ Oh,” Zoe said, blinking a few times as she looked down at her hands. She wasn’t aware of how dry her mouth had gotten. And the strangest thing? Her first thought was that she wanted to talk to Logan. She brought her head up, looking over at him, “ Can I get back to you?” she asked and this time she watched as the tension she had felt moments before seemed to enter the gentleman’s body across the room for her. “ You need time to think about it?” he asked and Zoe gave a small nod. “I apologize,” she said. “ Zoe, you have been playing music since you were three years old. This isn’t a hobby. This has been a lifetime thing for you. What could possibly make you question everything you’ve worked for up to this point?’ he asked and Zoe opened her mouth slightly, unsure of how she should explain herself. How did she tell someone she didn’t know, that she didn’t know who she was or what she wanted. She needed Logan. And Gabe. Zack and Felicia. Even if she continued college at Columbia, she needed to maintain her scholarship, which meant continuing to play music anyways. So did she want to play music for the rest of her life, be one person in a hundred person orchestra and get lost in a crowd, or did she want to work for Logan where she knew he would utilize her strengths. “ Please let us be aware of your decision as soon as you make it. Take careful time and consideration, Zoe” he said cautiously and she nodded. “ Thank you very much, sir” she said before picking up her violin and escorting her way out of the room. “ How’d it go?” someone asked, beaming up at her as they sat behind their registration desk. Zoe shook her head, gripping her fingers tightly around the neck of the violin. “ I don’t know,” she said before she moved away from the audition room entirely. She needed away from it.
Zoe opted not to go to the cab, instead walking her way back home. She needed to clear her head, only that didn’t work at all. In fact it probably made it worse, made her over analyze things. If she worked for Logan, it would probably be better for her and Gabe’s relationship. She was pretty damn sure Logan would let her work from anywhere, … he kind of fucking loved her and Felicia. But if she went the music route, that could move her anywhere. And she would never ask Gabe to move with her. That wasn’t fair to his career. She could move for his, she had an option to do so. When she got back inside, she looked around, numbly noting that Gabe had apparently taken it upon himself to tidy up the apartment. It was so nice and clean, her favorite pumpkin candles were burning in the living room, and the vanilla in the kitchen. “ Hey,” she said quietly, setting down the violin on the coffee table, which she still hadn’t placed back in her case considering she felt like a mental nutbag right now. After a moment she set the case down beside it and the “ Well?” he questioned and almost instantaneously she started crying. “ I’m sort of overwhelmed by options right now,” she said, bringing her hands to her face where the tears were pouring out. He could pretty much assume she had nailed her audition from that. Couldn’t have options if you didn’t kick ass. “ I’m eighteen. I have no idea what I want. I literally… they..” she said, trying to talk as she was crying, finding it hard to even breathe. Not a pretty crier. “ The only thing that I know I want for the rest of my life is you. I don’t feel passionately one way or the other about anything else,” she said, before lowering her hands. “ Is that dumb? You’re the only thing I know for certain I want,” she said before sniffling, deciding – yes, she probably sounded like an idiot to him. But instead of explaining it any further, she sniffled in – attractive-, before she made her way to their bedroom, changing instantly into a pair of Gabe’s sweatpants and one of his hoodies. She didn’t feel like trying to look pretty, or trying to do her hair or fix her make up. She just wanted to sit on the couch. After picking up her favorite fleece blanket that Felicia had made her she came out to the couch, climbing over Gabe’s pillows and blankets until she settled herself into the corner, barely taking up any room in the huge cocoon of blankets he had created. “ I want to watch Footloose,” she said, bringing her hand up to her face to wipe away the tears before she rested her head against the armrest. She was sure that eventually Gabe would make his way to the couch and she would move. But right now she didn’t feel like moving herself. She felt like having him move her. He was strong, he could do it. And she wanted an orange. But Felicia wasn’t here for that, so instead she sniffled and looked up at him. “ Do we have any oranges?” she questioned, hoping he would take the role of Felicia and open it for her. But she just waited. Waited for the movie to start, waited for the orange, waited for Gabe to get on the couch and pull her to the chest. He was the only thing she was certain of in her whole life, and all she wanted was to just lay with him for now. Her future wasn’t just her choice, it was his too. But for now she just wanted to not let all of it completely overwhelm her. She wanted to make simple choices – to watch a movie? Yes. Spend time with your boyfriend? Absolutely. They could discuss the big life event later that evening when it wasn’t so fresh to overwhelming her.
